for straights only

Who Here Has Been Kicked Out of a Straight Club For Dancing With The Same Sex?

We’ve reached out to Jeff, one of the stars of the YouTube series Gays Of The Week, to find out more about this harrowing tale of being bounced out of a New York City straight club for dancing with another dude, and then being physically assaulted in front of security personnel who wanted nothing to do with it. But one thing I’m not loving about his remarks are about how he “understands” that club owners deserve the right to set the tone of their establishments, even if that means not letting any same-sex activity go down. Except: they don’t have the right, any more than they have the right to keep blacks and whites from dancing with each other. We’ll share more of Jeff’s story as we hear.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #gaysoftheweek #newyorkcity(nyc) #nightlife stories and more


  • jason

    I’ve always thought that New York is very homophobic at the social level. This incident kind of proves it.

    Interestingly, this sort of homophobia seems to be directed against men, not women. You see women dancing together all the time in mainstream clubs. They don’t get kicked out.

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: modern-day young people have a bisexual double standard. Their social rules are designed to prop up the sleazy straight guy fantasy for girl-girl action. The girls go along with it because they are whores at heart.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    My boyfriend was. In 2000 he went to a club with his then BF and several het relatives. When he was dancing the bouncer came over, grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him outside calling him every slur you can think of. Too bad for the bouncer, two of my BF’s het relatives were hardasses and jumped the bouncer and beat the shit out of him. The management called the cops to report the assault on the bouncer, but by then my BF and his friends were long gone.

  • Billy

    That’s when you call the police on the club, and watch then get a fat ticket for running a slimey club. You should name the club, so us gays can ban together and hurt their business.

  • TimBo

    Sorry but in my day if I was in a straight Club was not an issue just didn’t dance with same sex people. I have always been openly gay but I have always respected the boundaries of where I am.

    Not for being a political statement just because I respect that some people are uncomfortable.

  • Seaguy

    That is illegal in some places. But it is just wrong and the club name needs to be posted so that the dump can be boycotted and ran out of business where it belongs!

  • ronk212

    Please post the name of this cretin bar. It is illegal to do what they did to you. And the creep who struck you should be charged with assault. Did you get the cops badge number? What precinct were they from? PLEASE post these details.

  • Dollie

    I’ve never been kicked out of a straight club for dancing with another woman, but I have been made to feel uncomfortable doing so. Believe it or not, being objectified ain’t my style.
    To the best of my knowledge, my gay male friends have never had such an experience in Denver, either. I can’t imagine they would. Here in Denver, our major straight clubs (Beta, Vinyl, and The Church) are all either owned or managed by gay men or have hosted weekly gay nights.

    Sorry to hear of this kid’s experience, however!! He should certainly take action, at least to ensure that it won’t happen to anyone else.

  • Fitz

    I don’t think it IS illegal, as offensive as it is. A private club can set it’s rules. I mean, the clubs do all sorts of offensive things, like rejecting people who are too old or ugly, right? Why not rejecting people who are too gay? I think it’s gross but true. But then, I also chose to not go places where me and my gay money are not welcome.

  • Jeffree

    There’s strength in numbers, so the few (6-7) times the Swiss dude and I have danced together, it’s been as part of a larger group of same and opposite gender couples. Never had a problem, but the clubs were in large cities and filled with mostly people in the mid 20s or so.

    I prob wouldn’t have done that in less urban settings or as the only male couple on the floor. That’s not advice to anyone else, just how I/we feel most comfortable.

  • TampaZeke

    @TimBo: I think TimBo is a SamBo, of the Uncle Tom variety.

  • MonereMonae

    Well, as much as I would like to believe that a person can dance with anyone they want in a bar, I would still have a sense of consideration for those around me and go to a gay bar if I really wanted to dance with my guy.

    and I know this is off topic… but why does every homosexual vlogger have to be shirtless…?

  • Don't Be A Victim!

    A beat cop for the NYPD is mad lazy, by nature. They are only motivated by money. If it had been near the end of their shift, and they were able to book someone and make 8 hours of overtime, this situation would’ve ended differently. (Frankly, my hunch is the kid in this video would’ve been the one in cuffs…cops like easier arrests and small young gay white kids are easier to deal with in custody than big bouncers! Again, it’s all about laziness for the NYPD!)

    Badge numbers, descriptions of the cops if they aren’t being cooperative, VIDEO (nearly every cell phone has a video feature now, get your friends to start filming next time anything like this goes down!) and above all, be POLITE and maintain composure when asserting your rights.

    You have the right to swear out a complaint against the person or people who assaulted you, regardless of whether some shitty NYPD rookie feels like filling out the forms or not. Again, if you have names and numbers, it’s a lot easier to follow up and you should because cops, bouncers, club owners and managers do this shit because most of the time no one is held accountable!

    Be the change you want to see in the world!

  • scott ny'er

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: I’m normally an opponent of violence, but in situations like these, good for your BF and his relatives. Maybe the bouncer will think twice against doing crap like that again.

    This is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. I’ve mixed feelings about how we should respect straight clubs, etc. If it’s against the law, I guess, there’s nothing we can do.

  • Jeffree

    @Don’t Be A Victim!:
    Great advice, thanks.
    I’d add that it helps to practice videoing on your phone a few times, because some phones require several steps. In a bad situation isn’t the best time to learn! Also, learn how to grasp that phone tightly, because some people WILL try to knock it out of your hands! Some phones/their case have a wrist-strap, I’ve seen a few folks with those those on the train and bus.

  • BRyan

    @TimBo: Although I respect your opinion, Timbo, I have to disagree with you. Someone else’ level of comfort, or lack thereof, isn’t really an issue you should be concerned about. Regardless of a business establishment being “gay” or “straight”, everyone should have benefit of equal treatment. I am a gay man. When I enter an establishment with my partner, I certainly do not expect the straight patrons to withold who they are because they might make me uncomfortable. I excpect the same treatment in return.

  • David

    NY surprised me a year ago when they refused to let my female friends into a gay club, and when explaining that i was visiting, they begrudgingly let them in and told them they couldn’t go into certain areas, only the patio. Jerks!

  • den

    I got kicked out of The Viper Room in LA in 2001 for dancing with a guy – though in all honesty, we might have been making out as well. I was pretty drunk.

  • jason

    While a lot of these clubs are privately owned, their liquor licenses are approved by the government. As such, they are beholden to state government anti-discrimination laws, and must abide by them.

  • Jeffree

    And in what jurisdiction(s) do liquor licenses relate to anti-discrimination laws?

  • JC

    I just have to sit here and laugh, because gay bars can be just as heterophobic as str8 clubs are homophobic. The LGBT community can be very hypocritical when judging the hetero community’s actions. I have had my str8 friends called breeders and other nasty names while being in a gay club. I just wonder when the day will come when we can rise above all this pettiness.

  • TK

    @jason: I have nothing against same-sex members, regardless of their sexual orientation, dancing together, but what’s that got to do with girls going down on girls being whorish? Sounds like hatred/discrimination toward women.

  • Steve

    Throughout the US, it is illegal for a business owner to discriminate on the basis of race, creed, color, national origin, or sex, if the business offers any “public accommodation”. A public accommodation is, of course, offering just about anything for sale. Notice though, that the list of basis does not include sexual orientation. Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is not prohibited by the Federal civil rights act.

    There are some states and localities that do prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. New York State and NYC both have such statutes. So, refusing accommodation to a same-sex couple, while selling it to opposite-sex couples, would be a clear violation.

    That doesn’t stop people from being rude or obnoxious. And, of course, the bouncer could always claim that the patrons were thrown out for being rude or obnoxious, rather than for being gay.

    Bear in mind, also, that the same law allows straight couples to visit gay clubs. It works both ways.

  • thirdofjuly

    1. I don’t care how times might have changed, cops ALWAYS make things worse. Don’t ever call the cops. Settle that shit on your own. Had the kid kept going on about rights or justice, he would have ended up in handcuffs. The better way to handle this is either to smear the club’s name or to take it over one night with a bunch of gays.

    2. Gay bars are not hypocritical for excluding straights. These are our safer places and this just shows how there is a real threat of violence against us in straight clubs. Straight people don’t get attacked at gay clubs. The guys were not even hitting on any other people, they were just dancing with each other. It wasn’t that they were a “threat” to the other people in the club, it’s that their mere existence was a threat. This is a significant difference. This line of thought is the first step toward violence (including death) against someone.

    3. Fuck New York. Every time I’m up there, I get all these condescending remarks about how the South is so dangerous for gay people and that they could never set foot here.

  • Daez

    There are just as many gay businesses that discriminate against women as straight clubs that discriminate against gays.

    Neither is acceptable or appropriate. The proper solution is to boycott the club in question, but we should also consider boycotting any gay club that discriminates on the basis of gender.

  • Fitz

    @Daez: “Boycott” seems a little strong to me. Just go where you are welcome. You will have a better time, they will have a better time, and the world goes on.

  • ChrisM


    He was referring to straight girls getting with straight girls, in order to turn on the straight guys. He was pointing out the so-called double standards when it comes to homophobia.

    Although, I wouldn’t agree that “guy-guy disgusting, girl-girl hot” is the end of the story with most homophobes. I think most straight guys who like girl-girl action but hate gay men would be just as disgusted upon finding out that the two girls they are watching are exclusively lesbian and not interested in doing them. The girl-girl action is only hot for homophobes while they’re under the delusion that it’s being done to please a man.

  • alan brickman

    I got kicked out of a lesbian bar for dancing with a girl….wanna figure that one out?…Don’t blame straights for all the gay bs out there!!!!!

  • alan brickman

    boycotts are for tards!!!

  • alan brickman

    Her should press charges…not youtube it for fame!!!

  • Brutus

    @thirdofjuly: I’m a NYer, but for a long time, I spent several months a year with my extended family in the South.

    I don’t feel safe there.

  • Jared

    Steve (21) got it right on the law. Well done.

    Please post the name of the club not so we can boycott, but rather so we can stage a mass guerilla gay takeover night. We’ll make them accept us whether they like it or not.

  • ewe

    The very moment i enter a straight club it becomes a gay club and that goes for every establishment just for the fact that i am there. I take myself wherever i go and have accepted that for decades now.

  • ewe

    @alan brickman: You are not welcome in a lesbian bar unless you are a guest of someone. There are too many details to explain it here. It isn’t personal.

  • ewe

    @alan brickman: What the fuck are you going into a lesbian to dance with a girl for anyway? May i suggest you be conscious of those around you? Geez. what a tweaker.

  • ewe

    @JC: A few insecure gay people and their caddy remarks is not the same as a discriminatory eviction.

  • ewe

    @alan brickman: Before you reply, i know what i said sounds hypocritical but it actually is not. Lesbians are goddesses and they are typically left out of everything else in our culture so you are not permitted to drag them into the light for the purposes of comparing. Many people do not even admit lesbian women exist.

  • scott ny'er

    @ewe: Are u being serious? So a gay dude can’t dance with a Lesbian at a club? That doesn’t make any sense. Maybe he’s her friend and they are hanging out. So crazy.

  • bitch, please

    @TimBo: When I pay $10 for my gin and tonic, I don’t give a fuck about someone’s level of comfort. People need to grow the fuck up. It’s a bar, not a preschool.

  • ewe

    @scott ny’er: true, it is crazy but i would leave it up to the lesbian woman to confront her pals not me. Yes by the way, i am being serious.

  • boi_in_boystown

    @Bitch, Please: A straight could argue the same thing. When they pay $10 for their gin and tonic, they might easily expect to be free from gays as much as you expect to be around grown ups.

  • ForeverGay

    I’m glad he shared his story. So many gay people don’t and let these haterosexual incidents slide by totally unchallenged. When he said he didn’t think an incident like this would happen in NYC it just shows the complete incompetence of gay activists. Gay activists like Michelangelo Signorile and Dan Savage can’t bring themselves to say HATEROSEXUALS ARE THE CREATORS AND PERPETUATORS OF ANTI-GAY BIGOTRY. An incident like this is EXPECTED ANYWHERE there are haterosexuals.

  • B

    No. 10 · MonereMonae wrote, “Well, as much as I would like to believe that a person can dance with anyone they want in a bar, I would still have a sense of consideration for those around me and go to a gay bar if I really wanted to dance with my guy.”

    … but straight couples show up at gay bars and nobody throws them out or complains if they dance with each other.

    Regarding Fitz’s comment, “I don’t think it IS illegal, as offensive as it is. A private club can set it’s rules.” … if
    it is open to the general public – you show up at the door and
    they let you in whether you have to pay to get in or not, it is
    a “public accommodation” and the non-discrimination laws apply
    for those states that have laws similar to California’s Unruh
    Civil Rights Act.

  • ewe

    @boi_in_boystown: not every gay person wants any straight one. Please bitch yourself

  • ChrisM


    Is your post serious? Anti-gay bigotry comes from anti-gay heterosexuals (and even some closeted gays now), not just all heterosexuals. I imagine gay activists don’t mention that heteros perpetuate homophobia because 1) not all heterosexuals do, 2) to say “most homophobes are heterosexual” is a job for Captain Obvious, and 3) attitudes like yours are unwarranted and counterproductive when trying to win over respect and equal treatment. Know who your friends and your enemies are.

  • yes well


    jason takes any shots he can on women (especially bi) as often as he can, i can read an article and and guess ahead of time, what he’ll say
    bit predictable, but every blog needs its ridiculous characters to keep comments interesting

  • nineinchnail

    Yet we have to put up with heteros making out in our clubs. NY sounds a little homphobic to me which is totally unexpected.

  • ewe

    @nineinchnail: exactly. this acceptance of double standards is nonsense. (lesbian bars excluded of course) The reason i say that about lesbian bars is because they would toss out any man who is not their with a lesbian woman so i don’t take it personal.

  • ewe

    well we could all just act like PLANET OF THE PODS and stare anyone out who is not a pod.

  • ewe

    can you imagine? lmao. the whole bar just turns around and stares you down in complete uninterrupted silence until “you get the fuck outta here”. lol

  • ewe

    it happens to african americans all the time.

  • scott ny'er

    @ewe: lesbian bars shouldn’t be excluded. Fair is fair for everyone. If lesbian bars can discriminate then expect it everywhere.


    Are we sure he wasn’t kicked out of the club because he is like 15?? :p

  • Max Campbell

    It because bisexual double standards from porn! and because stupid conformist gay guys too!

    “Straight” porn said that “male-female and female-female it is a normal, but male-male it isn’t normal.”

    And it became powerful social paradigm of a mass consciousness!

    Ha)))) And you surprised after that?

    This industry segregates male-male sexuality from human sexuality. Example – ghetto as GayVN. Award ceremonies must be under ONE BRAND. But this hypocritical policy block male homoerotism, because it is a tabboo. Doesn’t leave chance of change.

    Maybe guys could be more free in realization of the bisexual potential soon! as it was in Antiquity, for example!!! Male bisexuality was a norm!

    But no, They say that female bisexuality is a ordinary thing, but any male-male activity should be segregated and forced out.

    The reason also in dullness and conformism of gay guys. They don’t want to listen the truth.

    Truth is that reason of homophobia is a suppress male homoerotism, gay sex.

    It as threat of their “correct” masculinity (the Levynite 18).

    What about analogical answer! 30% of women watch porn regularly. 15-30% of gay porn groups on VK.COM is a girls. It is logical that women like when at once 2 beautiful guys together. But the reason why women ignore gay porn is a jealousy.
    It is necessary to create analogical fetish “2 bisex guys for 1 girl”. it is a POTENCIAL MONEY also!!!!
    And it is will help to destroy tabboo on male-male sexuality. Make bi-curious guys more free in general! And it is make free male homosexual behaviour.

    Otherwise we will receive a catastrophe. A segregation is more stronger than DADT.

  • Wes

    He would expect something like that to happen in Atlanta? Really? A city where there are more gay people residing in a square mile than any other city in the southeastern US? I don’t see that happening. I’ve been in some of the straightest bars in the city…slow dancing with another guy…and no one said a word. It’s really a “no issue” here in most establishments. Yes, the Atlanta Eagle was raided last year by Atlanta PD. But, now that the city is being forced to pay over an extreme amount of money for their stupidity, they know we aren’t being silenced. That’s the stupidity of the PD…not the people who live here. For the most part, we rarely hear of anything negative being done to the gay citizens of the city wherever they may want to hang out.

  • 2MM

    I agree with Max Campbell. His offer is absolutely logical.

  • alan brickman

    no discrination here!!

  • alan brickman

    by lesbians who don’t practice manhate…

Comments are closed.