Writer Dared Suggest That Meth And Condomless Sex Is Creating A Gay Culture of Death. Here’s The Response He Got.

Charles Kaiser

In the inaugural issue of the Los Angeles newspaper The Pride, award-winning journalist Charles Kaiser takes on the troubling rise of meth among gay men along with the the abandonment of the condom code in “Will the GreaTesT MomenT in LGBT HisTory Go Down in a Blaze of Meth?”

Kaiser writes:

We live in an extraordinary era, the product of fifty years of astonishing progress. None of us who were sentient in 1970 ever imagined that we could get this far so fast. Now we are Congressmen and Senators, doctors and lawyers, movie directors and psychiatrists, pediatricians, a Secretary of the Army (designate) and a thousand other things that no openly gay person could realistically aspire to back then. As recently as 2001, homosexual acts were still criminal in most American states. In 1989, at the height of the AIDS crisis, Time magazine ran a story wondering if there would be any gay community left in the United States by the time the epidemic was over…

And yet, despite all this progress, a remarkable self destructiveness still afflicts hundreds of thousands of the best and the brightest among us. Once upon a time, we could plausibly blame this kind of behavior on the oppression of the rest of society. Now, not so much. How is it possible that meth is the one thing in the world that straight people are so much smarter about than gay men? How did it become a symbol of glamor and youth for some of us, and a badge of stupidity and poverty for all of them, which is exactly what it should be. How did a scourge that’s already flattened whole stretches of rural Appalachia and countless small towns in working class America, become so desirable for such supposedly sophisticated gay men in smart urban neighborhoods across the country?

ee95aea7-78fe-4165-8e33-17f4160f56f8Unsurprisingly, the reaction to the article was explosive. So we asked Kaiser, the author of The Gay Metropolis among many books, to come up with a list of what he learned from reader comments and social media, both from ordinary gay people and experts from the HIV-prevention and drug-treatment community.

Here are eight things he learned:

1. Disagreeing with any part of the prevailing dogma produces the same reaction you used to be able to get by ruffling a Trotskyite cell.

2. One must never tell a gay brother that what he is doing to himself can, or probably will, kill him. You will only increase his sense of isolation by doing so. No young gay man wants any advice, so it’s a mortal sin to offer any. All young gay men feel this way, without exception. Everybody knows this! (NOT!)

3. I have a “straight corporate hang up” because I think that some forms of sex — those that include the use of condoms and do not include the use of meth, for example — are actually better than the ones that put one or both partners at risk of permanent addiction, or a very grave disease. Anyone making such a distinction must be “sex negative,” even if he bows to no one in his affection for a culture of sex, drugs and rock and roll.

tina-meth-pipe4. It never occurs to any of these people that some condom-phobia may actually be learned, rather than intrinsic.

5. Anyone who thinks it’s more sensible to use a condom rather than spending $30,000 a year on a pill to prevent HIV infection is hopelessly out of step — not only with the Zeitgeist of the gay community, but with a fundamental American value: taking a pill is always the best solution for every problem. Anyone who prefers a condom to a pill is stigmatizing those who do not — and going way off the script provided by Big Pharma.

6. There is no important distinction to be made between smoking meth and drinking beer.

7. No one living in this bubble ever imagines that anyone could reasonably disagree with anything they believe, mostly because they’ve shouted down their opponents so long ago.

8. If you are among the legions who are certain that a naked penis during anal intercourse is more important than everything else you can do during the act of love, I have a news flash for you: you are a dull and unimaginative lover.

9. My motto remains, as ever:

“What does it matter to be laughed at? The big public, in any case, usually doesn’t see the joke, and if you state your principles clearly and stick to them, it’s wonderful how people come around to you in the end.” — George Orwell

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  • alphacentauri

    I’m not surprised people reacted this way. Just look at how people react on this site when the trolls here get called out as being into barebacking, meth, or when they foolishly think that taking PrEP/Truvada and barebacking will keep them HIV neg and free of STDs.

  • Peter McKinney

    It’s true. We used to care about saving gay lives. Now we care about language.

  • QJ201

    Meh, Tina’s been beatin’ the boys up since the 1990s. The Meth epidemic started in SF over 20 years ago. Hit NYC hard in 2000.

  • Kevin Wotipka

    If you value pleasure over everything else, you’re living a dangerous lie.

  • bottom250

    Hugs and Tugs not drugs, my darlings.

  • tusgold

    I do not think his statement is broad enough. It is abuse and addiction which leads to unsafe sex and anonymous sex

  • andreleneal

    Condoms saved many lives over the past 4 decades, that isn’t up for discussion. But they are only 70% effective against HIV and not particularly effective with HPV,Herpes. I’d need to check on Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis. New times call for new methods. And quite honestly, there’s quite a bit of HIV ennui that has folks feeling tired of the convo and a community of Poz folk who after 1990 were ostracized and judged in Gay Male communities, causing them to erect acounter culture of bareback that the mainstream has latched onto with no regards to how it became popular again. And now it is profitable. If we could cease leveling judgment at each other and speak with compassion, we might be able to have a civil conversation about who and where we are now. And I saw nothing attractive about presenting rural Americans as less than because that’s allegedly where straight meth use lives. It’s all divisive language that continues to drive a wedge.

  • Brian

    Firstly, we need to get rid of terms like “straight” and “gay”. These terms divide men. They build walls between men. As a gender, men can be at their most powerful and helpful – as in helpful to each other – when they don’t divide themselves.

    Secondly, we need to slowly eradicate the gay scene with a campaign of stigma. The gay scene is not dignified. It’s a money-making scheme for a small number of individuals who exploit and corner the gay market. Even more important is the fact that the gay scene concentrates men and their pathogens. It promotes promiscuity.

    Thus, the natural promiscuity of men is amplified and you develop a pathogenic cascade in the gay scene, a cascade which has caused the deaths of many men.

    Thirdly, we need to promote the concept of male homosexual desire amongst all men. We have to de-shame male homosexual desire amongst straight-identifying men, basically. This will involve coming down hard on women and their natural opposition towards male-male sexuality. Women find male homosexual desire in a generalized format – ie when it threatens to seduce their husbands and boyfriends – to be a threat.

    Fourthly, we need to realize that male sexuality is a powerful thing and not to be abused. A morality needs to descend upon male sexuality, basically. This morality will ensure that we remain, as men, free of indulgences which shorten our life spans.

  • Brian

    Here is an example of why women are the greatest opponents of male homosexual desire: Queen Victoria banned homosexuality but only if it was male, not female. Thus, lesbianism was allowed to be legal at a time when the British police were persecuting and imprisoning Oscar Wilde for sodomy.

    During Queen Victoria’s time, there was no such thing as gay and straight. Male homosexuality was perceived as something that all men could opt into – in other words, the true, apolitical version of male homosexuality. I also call it the “dangerous” version of male homosexuality because it represents a threat to a woman’s ability to control male behavior.

  • andreleneal

    Your perspective is deeply misogynistic and purports that there is no value in Gay Culture and also purports that all men are capable of homosexuality or homoromantic arrousal. All of this smacks of privilege. That Gay Agenda that they didn’t hand out at the coming out party is exactly what you’re advocating, it’s reductive, and I want no part of it as it limits personal responsibility.

  • Scott Redner

    Thinning the herd…

  • Wayne Beasley

    He has a valid point. The problem is people like to live in their own fantasy world and don’t want to know the truth. And heaven forbid if they were forced to be responsible adults! Too many think all there is to life is a good high, a stiff drink and an anonymous trick in their bed. Then they wonder why they catch the clap or worse and blame it on everyone/everything but themselves.

  • Brian

    @andreleneal: Your view is deeply misandristic in my opinion. Do you fear the notion that all men are capable of homosexuality. If so, why? I would have thought that male homosexual desire is a good thing.

    Or do you think that male homosexual desire is a good thing only if it is segregated away so that it doesn’t offend women or threaten their control over men’s behavior? If so, you’re into the “safe” version of male homosexuality as invented by the gay rights movement.

    I’m more into the dangerous version of male homosexuality because it’s the true, apolitical version.

  • Gee Rosato

    Well you have to be a special kind of stupid to do either

  • Greg Taylor

    He’s bang on. Homophobia has taught us to resist any criticism, even constructive criticism. We can partly thank the homophobes that were killing ourselves.

  • DarkZephyr

    I don’t get the need of some to place sex at the top of every priority list. I enjoy sex but not to the point where I am willing to put my life in danger for a tiny bit of extra sensation.

  • Amaurys Arias

    He is right… But you can stop gay men with low self esteem from acting irresponsibly…. And of course the gay men that don’t want to stop have to jump on him.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Brian: First off you need to stop posting your stupid bullshit about sexual orientation. You don’t know what sexuality is and stop trying to think straight men are bi. They don’t want you and don’t want anything to do with you. Secondly, nobody cares about your archaic notions of men and women. You think women have no power and men have all of the power. Nobody thinks that way anymore.

    You hate women because you fear them. You hate women with power because they are a big threat to you. You have serious mommy issues.

    Anyways, as far as this writer he is correct. People should stop having so much bareback sex.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Brian: You’re a fucking idiot. Just stop. Posting. This. Crap.

  • andreleneal

    I don’t fear a breader dating pool. I just recognize that is true that there are myriad ways to be Black and Gay, so I acknowledge that my experience as a Male cannot inform all other experiences as Male.

    My version of Queerness mirrors my version of Straightness. When no one is harmed, every person is welcome to express their sexuality however they can with consenting adults.

    I have no idea what an apolitical version of Queerness looks like when loving a Queer Person is revokutionary, when bring a Queer Person is revolutionary, and loving oneself as a Queer Person is revolutionary.

    I don’t shrink to make others more comfortable, as no one has ever prioritized my comfort that highly. But I fight for inclusion because I can fight now and I didn’t always have an advocate.

    And for the record, there are plenty of Queer Women who have no designs on Men. Your plight is reductive wish fulfilment. By excluding women, you are no better than anyone who seeks to uphold oppressive suicidal constructs; I see no sense in advcoating to replace a system which doesn’t work with another system that doesn’t work in a different way….

  • alphacentauri

    @QJ201: Actually the whole meth/PNP (sex with drugs) thing has been going on since the late 60s and early 70s for sure, and meth was around then but it was injected, swallowed, snorted, or taken up the ass and the smokeable form came around in the 80s. I’ve never used meth and never will but I have met people of all ages and sexual orientations who have.

  • Karl Van B

    Underwhelming article, with promising title : Truvada out of pocket is about $13,000. We are ok with giving children amphetamines, but we forget about the undiagnosed stricken by poverty which the author half-wittily categorized as being ‘white’ and from the ‘south’ – a bit myopic don’t you think? Bill O’Reilly wants his ghost writer back. For some, Meth is their medication. I know some who are prescribed Desoxyn. Big Pharma? Typical uneducated bashing at those who spend hundreds of hours mastering neuropharmacology. What you meant was, it’s a shame we live in a hypocritical country were the war on drugs is merely a facade, were homosexuality is a political epithet, and politicians still believe that the Earth is 6,000 years old … Give me a break.

  • Brian

    Bareback sex is perfectly fine if both people are healthy. Absolutely fine. In fact, I’d recommend it if you are into it. You have absolutely no need for condoms if you are both healthy. There is absolutely no scientific need to wear a condom if you are both STD-free.

  • Brian


    What you need to note is that the modern gay rights movement did not invent male homosexuality. It invented the safe, segregated and political form of male homosexuality. This form of male homosexuality defers to women, allowing women to dictate what is acceptable and what isn’t as far as male homosexuality is concerned.

    I’m into the version of male homosexuality pre-gay rights. This version of homosexuality is the true, apolitical version. It empowers men as a gender. It enables men to free themselves from the inhibiting influences of women. It enables men to be themselves and to view homosexuality as an option. Yes, an option.

    It also enables straight-identifying men to say “he’s hot, I wouldn’t mind desiring him” in front of their wives. Wives would have to tolerate such desire in my paradigm.

    • andreleneal

      When I tell you that I’m Queer, I’m saying that I have no desire for Straight Acceptability. I have zero bandwidth creating some digestible version of Gaiety that makes Straights say, “They are just like us!”

      This allegedly sage version of homosexuality that lacked political agenda had to evolve into a movement because homosexuality as other was the same as communism. Homos had to go from the Mattachine Society, which organized in cells in case they were ever caught, to the freedom to let our freak flags fly after Stonewall. It forced us to stop being benign and passive regarding our sexuality and start being intentional. It created an opportunity for those of us who survived to be Proud.

      And I reiterate, to self-love and self-identify is a revolutionary act without which you would have no opportunity to your brand patriarchy to other Queers, even if we think you’re ridiculous.

      Just like I’m into monogamy, I recognize that some people prefer polyamoury. As a sexual and romantic person, I recognize and respect others’ decision to express themselves differently.

      The reason your point is problematic is that presupposes that men are more entitled to sexual and romantic freedom and/or curiosity than women. I think that everyone should empowered to indulge that curiosity or freedom as it doesn’t harm anyone else. That amounts to your primary partner’s consent to dalliance, honesty with dalliance partners, and consistency.
      What you’re discussing is already occurring in the form of men in LTR deciding they want to start sneaking around and sitting on dicks. The sneaker should not be the only person allowed to make educated decisions in this situation.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Brian: What a tool. You don’t get to decide who invented what. You hate women, you hate feminine gay men, you hate gay men who don’t act like straight men… we get it already. If you have such a problem with women dictating what is acceptable, don’t listen.

    The version of male homosexuality “pre-gay rights”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? It was always political, you clown. It was always about equality and visibility. We know what you want… living deeply in the closet and being hidden. That’s all your life is about. You probably couldn’t even hold a hand of a guy because you would think it is an insult to straight men.

    You’re a closet case who hates himself.

    And stop it with this “identifying” crap. There is no “identifying” in sexual orientation. Only a stupid idiot would think there is a choice. I guess you qualify under that context.

    You’re a freaking closet case who isn’t even proud of his sexuality.

  • youarekiddingme

    @Brian: Hey, asswhipe…figure out what the definition of homosexual is before you keep throwing it around: “a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex.” (per dictionary.reference.com)…note it says person/not man/not woman…either man or woman attracted to a member of that same sex.

    There is no political definition. No pre gay rights definition. There’s one definition.

    You are constantly spouting gibberish…again.


  • andreleneal

    Bareback sex is perfectly between consenting adults. Preferably both know their status. If one is Poz, they are on a regimen and undetectable. If they are HIV-, hopefully they are on Truvada. Because the only people who can pass along the disease are unaware that they’re Poz or simply not medicated, they have a viral load.
    Avoiding people who are Poz isn’t an efficient method of remaining Negative. Poz partners are generally safer because of their status and 3-4x a year at the doctor to closely monitor their progress.
    But HIV stigma causes fear to overrule science.

  • William Noffsinger

    Show some class. Wrap that pecker then slide it up his…

  • Brian

    @andreleneal: I’m not into cheating at all. I’m simply saying that all men should be allowed to express homosexual desire in word or feeling, if not physical act.

    As for gender politics, it is fundamental to understanding homophobic attitudes towards men. Women enjoy the idea that female bisexuality is more acceptable than male bisexuality. Women enjoy the idea that men are told to find women’s bodies more sexually attractive than men’s. Women enjoy the idea that they can enter clubs and bars wearing mini-skirts but men must be covered. Women enjoy all these double standards.

    Male power comes from throwing these double standards back into women’s faces and turning the tables on them.

  • Wilberforce

    Judging by the responses here, I’d say there are a lot more guys who’ve outgrown the standard self-hatred of mainstream gay culture. Still, everyone is dancing around the central issue. And here it is.
    The vast self-destructive crowd are acting out the self-hatred learned from growing up in a homophobic culture. Many of us get over it, and more and more are healed each year. But there’s still a bucket full of self-destructive queens. And they have an endless supply of excuses for their stupidity.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Brian: You don’t know the definition of homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Time to hit the books. Your delusions cannot help you anymore. And do you realize that the misgynoist crap you are spewing is from a different decade?

  • Gothrykke

    I’ve learned that if that if someone is into that kinda thing, they aren’t really worth being in a relationship with. You can be my acquaintance, you can be my friend, but we will never be more. Somethings are just not worth the hassle, meth is that thing.

  • seaguy

    @QJ201: Exactly it has been in Seattle since the 90’s so I am not sure why it is suddenly being called out as a new epidemic or something.

    I think much of the reaction was because this guy is acting like the whole gay community is getting high on meth and then barebacking. Which is not true. And “creating a gay culture of death” that is so outlandish, it is not even funny. I am not aware of some new movement of gay tweakers who are trying to die.

    He might want to stop trying to group all of us together under the labels like that when knows full well that not every gay man is a barebacking meth user, like his article implies.

  • alphacentauri

    @seaguy: I don’t think his article implies or says that every gay man is into barebacking or meth; but if you don’t think there’s a problem with both things you’ve been living under a rock for the past 40 years. On another site I go to a gay guy that was into PNPing but not with meth but Ketamine thought that nobody that’s LGBT uses meth and thinks that it’s rare for people to bareback but he fried any intelligence he had with the K.

  • Sam D. Maloney

    It’s not just gay people: we commonly shoot the messenger in this culture.

  • AlliterationAddict

    Okay, so as a jumping off point, both using methamphetamine and having unprotected sex are very bad ideas. That’s not to shame anyone who has done either, but important that people remember that being safe is always the smart choice to make. But a lot if the time, this kind of rhetoric can also drift into ‘kids these days’ territory. It’s perfectly fine to go out and have a good time, and to sleep with as many people as you want, but remember to make smart choices. And inform yourself about the protection that you use, too.

  • ButtStuff

    @Giancarlo85: You would be completely irrelevant without @Brian: to argue with. He’s the only thing keeping you in the conversation.

  • Eric Ward

    Seems using common sense, safe behavior and keeping sex in a healthy perspective relative to life’s other aspects makes one a ‘prude’ or self-hating gay man. Seems a Progressive Gay Man isn’t allowed to question gay culture’s sex and youth obsessions…to do so is considered traitorous to the gay community by many within it. Seems there’s still an adolescent child in most gay men who refuse to mature into a fully formed adult who can look at the whole of life…not just focused on the sex they ‘think they are being denied. Love is lost in all this. The superficiality of lustful pursuits feeds into Big Pharma’s business model; from Viagra to PrEP to all the cocktail mix of maintenance drugs needed after the body( and mind in many cases) succumb to the hedonistic party life. Party on boys!!! Party on…our investment portfolios holding Big Pharma stocks need a booster shot!

  • Alan David Smith

    the truth has become. we reward what we believe the world is. i made the mistake in the past of un-safe sex. and luckily i made it through with no negatives. but the truth is. look at the ads for the meds for hiv. the guys in these ads are the type you rip your clothes of for. michael jackson. whitney houstan, kurt cobain. amy winehouse. all dead. from various drug problems. how many jackass movies. we reward things. and dont show the consquences. it was a joke in one of bob smiths books. you wanna stop teen pregnacies.make students watch a film of a baby on a nonstop flight from ny to la. lets quit making things be some how cool.

  • garethgrey

    I feel like WTF WTF WTF! Years of fighting for rights so that we can start putting ourselves at risk of HIV or killing ourselves with Meth. Kaiser is right, 100% right, he wasn’t being an asshole. He was stating a fact that is being perpetuated over and over again by the gay public. Can everyone giving him hell, just sit back down. Those putting themselves at risk to fight for equality aren’t doing it to create comfortable places for homosexuals to kill themselves. Rant over.
    (@garethgrey on instagram/ twitter if anyone is interested xx)

  • garethgrey

    @Eric Ward: If being traitorous means living a full life, that brave people before us have fought for before. Let’s be as traitorous as possible, please. See my comment below.

  • Glücklich

    Who’s paying $30K for Prep? Change insurance plans.

  • Cam

    Frankly the article would have been far more relevant 15 years ago and now is so late to the game that it’s almost passe. My guess is that I’d you scoured old issues of gay media you will fund most of what this guy wrote was cobbled together from something written iver a decade ago.

    But NOW he gets to play the victim while at the same time insinuating that LGBT’s no longer deal with Opression. Remind me again HOW MANY states is it still legal to fire us in?
    Also remind me, does the political party that controls both houses of Congress have in its platform that they want to strip our rights away? Nope, no Opression there.
    But of course the author is “opressed” because not everybody loved what he wrote.

    Poor baby.

  • Joe

    I have friends that are using crystal meth and they have sex regularly with random men. One happens to be positive. It scares me that he’s out there doing it and could possibly infecting others. He does not know that I know and I only hear from my friends. But this entire meth situation is killing an entire generation of young gay men. I came out at 19 in the early 80’s and though I recall my friend bringing that infamous NYT article of 41 gay men dead – I worked in a club in the city, sex was everywhere and considered “chicken” myself by the older guys, it was hard to resist. That mysterious illness, I early on was very aware and extremely careful. Plus I worked in the a very well established gay night club. Young gays have new crisis on hand. It’s a crisis as was the AIDS crisis of the 80’s and 90’s that I thank God everyday I came out of unscathed.

  • Kangol

    I thought the comparison between “rural America” and sophisticated urban gay culture bit was insulting and unnecessary but his points about the harsh responses if you criticize, however correct or misguided, the effects of raw sex while on (or abusing) meth, is right on target.

    I have all but given up trying to tell the friends of mine who are totally wedded to raw sex and PnP/meth that they don’t have to fall in line with this paradigm. They’re adults, they don’t want to listen, they throw out the condoms aren’t 100% effective (though when properly worn and used they’re more than 90% effective, etc.), and they think any ill effects won’t affect them.

    Sadly, and I realize this from my youth during the worst years of horrific AIDS pandemic, negative outcomes will have to be the wake up call, though nowadays unlike then, we DO know how to protect ourselves. Back then we really didn’t.

  • theszak

    The Strategy BEFORE sex get tested TOGETHER for A VARIETY OF STIs SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS then make an INFORMED decision, google… tested together before sex

  • Dev.C

    I don’t know why we keep shaming people who choose to use Prep medication like as if condoms were the easiest thing to get people to use in the late 70’s and early 80’s.

    A person who chooses to take a pill routinely is being proactive and that doesn’t make them stupid for not wanting to always use condoms, it’s similar to shaming a woman for using birth control instead of a condom with her boyfriend to prevent a pregnancy.

    Can we stop deluding ourselves as if straight people are always using condoms too, because they aren’t. Gay men have always been assigned to be the advocates for condom use like we should all carry a condom dispenser on our hip or something.

    Let go of the prep hang ups, it just another thing keeping people safe, until there is proof that it’s doing anything otherwise, stop complaining about it.

    As far as the meth culture thing goes that is something that an older generation of gay men has pushed on to a younger generation, which the the only way to combat it is by getting through to the younger generation and making them aware.

    Alot of gay youtubers and celebs address these issues to young gay men now, which I didn’t have while growing up, so I think he’s generalizing when he’s comparing gay culture to meth culture.

    Even porn stars like Trenton Ducati have come out personally to combat meth and drug use in gay party culture, so while there are still many gay men who choose to put whatever into their bodies there are just as many if not more who don’t use drugs.

  • Giancarlo85

    @ButtStuff: And when have you ever been relevant? You just show up and post stupid shit responding to me. Seems like you’re only relevant when I’m posting lol!

  • Arcamenel

    I didn’t make it past the first line. None of this applies to me or my gay friends so whatever.

  • joe

    @andreleneal: its efficient if they tell you they are and you then decide not to have sex, i contracted hepatitis over 2 yrs ago i tell anyone and everyone despite the fact that i am on a med (same med ironically that is used for prep) and i am undetectable for most of the last two years…gues what the response is when i tell “no thanks ” or “not a match” i havent had sex with anyone in over 2 yrs now thats just the way it goes i fucked up now im paying the price. we all make choices T, poz sex, drugs etc..but we dont want to think about he price of the choice till its too late

  • truth_bomb

    One more reason we need a cure for HIV and more community resources for people who want to make a move out of the drug culture.

  • dubstepskater

    What? Not to call this guy out for saying that gays are predominately meth users and not practicing safe sex, BUT, all the meth-heads I know are straight men and women who live in the projects… And most of the gay men I know value their health way more than just an hour of hot sex…. Sounds like more anti-gay propaganda to me…

    @Brian : I don’t see why women feel threatened by gay men. They constantly want us to be their friends and ask about our advice on men… And NEWS FLASH… It takes two to tango (straight men can easily say no… not that I’m the type to offer to them… because I prefer gay men over them anyway).

  • onthemark

    @dubstepskater: Can you imagine anyone asking “Brian” for advice about anything? (Never mind women!) Well, I might ask him for advice on how to blow a trucker at a truck stop.

  • Maude

    I’m not sure this is even germain, but a ‘straight’ cop friend of mine who knew I was gay, observed a gay guy who had AIDS, and told me “if that guy didn’t have AIDS, I’d be glad to give him a reach-around”. This from a ‘straight’ man who didn’t consider getting an occasional blowjob, or ‘dicking’ a guy while he was ‘high’ meant he was gay himself.

  • Chris

    @Chris Brewer: yes he is!

  • Geeker

    It’s a sad fact but a fact non the less, Some people really are too stupid to live.

  • tricky ricky

    he’s right. loved his book the gay metropolis which is available used in hardback for 1 cent plus shipping.

  • OhHellNo

    My friend Bob: “Doing Meth doesn’t mean I’ll get HIV. I’m on Truvada.”

    Me: “That might have a small chance of being right, except for the fact that you’ve been high for four days. This is Monday. You took your last Truvada pill on Thursday. You don’t exactly stick to your med schedule when you’re whacked out of your mind.”

    Bob (after a long pause): “Time flies when you’re having fun?”

  • Curtispsf

    This article is about 20 years too late. The scourge of meth use in the gay community peaked years ago and is in decline. That’s not to say, it’s not happening anymore, just that this perspective is rather dated. Those who used years ago are either dead…or in recovery.

  • tricky ricky

    @tricky ricky: his book is available on amazon for 1 cent plus shipping in hardback.

  • Stuart McDonald

    And this writer is factually correct that gay men are literally killing themselves and others with self- and other-destructive condomless sex, aka fucking “bareback” — which is a massive human disaster which is enormously aggravated by escapist alcohol and/or drug use (i.e. meth). But he’s wrong in his overly-optimistic assessment about how far gay men have moved towards acceptance in this society. Wallowing in escapist pleasures of the moment is all you have left for many gay men who see no hope for a decent future for themselves in a bullshit “traditional/natural family values” culture — which has not only not gone away, but is becoming more shrill and aggressive each day. This includes their own biological families in most cases. This culture constantly indoctrinates them to hate themselves and makes sure they have no decent futures to look forward to.

  • Atrius

    All I have to say is that I was never asked, and did not bother to give my opinion, but had I done so he would have gotten a different opinion if THAT is what he learned from those particular commenters.

  • nocibur61739

    @Joe: My Man Joe! I was “cultured” in the same era! I saw (AND knew) men who were + taking others “home”. Some of these “other” men were very handsome and I would have wanted to date any of them myself but, my “friends” called me out stating that my “morals, values and standards” were too high. After I saw them leave with “them” I figured out that they did not see life the same as I. I truly hope that they discussed… Well, I am still here and in a relationship going on 20 years. Yes, we are married and the only thing I inbibed in was MaryJ. I ALWAYS put, not only myself first, to be at risk but, my partner! I am – and I am not shaming ANYONE that is not. I feel that even though I have had my endeavors, I feel lucky that I did not “live” for the moment of a few moments/hours of pleasure. I would have rather gone home alone than “tried” to make someone want me. I was told quite a few times that I was “imtimidating” and not approachable due to my features but, I was (and still am I’m told)the life of the party. People would not instigate a conversation with me due to THEIR insecurities. I got along with EVERYONE. When I first started coming to/visiting bars/clubs ppl wanted me to stay away from the other clicks. I made friends with all. I had no desire to share MY body with someone else just for the sex and drugs. I wanted to find a partner with whom I could trust, care for, LOVE and spend the rest of OUR lives together. I am NOT placing myself on a pedistal nor on a high horse. I just have morals, values and standards that pertain to my life”style” that I adhere to more than some others. I am thankful for the life I have. To all the young men out there (maybe) reading this… Save yourself and others from just wanting to be desired. It does get better and your Knight in shinging armour will come if you just open your eyes and heart and not just your clothes. Bring on the trolls! I know I have stepped up to the plate and some may not like it BUT…

  • nocibur61739

    @OhHellNo: And death comes before you know it…

  • AtticusBennett

    also important to perhaps point out that cultural homophobia and abandonment are the strongest forces that drive people toward escapes that include deadly drugs and risky sex.

    we have a culture where so many of us are abandoned by families, we see and hear bigotry and prejudice from all angles, almost constantly, and yet…..people are surprised that people seek an escape from this world, and tragically fall into heavy drug use? i mean, COME ON.

  • nocibur61739

    This is just a joke to liven up the blog:

    Do you know what a BFF is?
    It’s one who goes downtown and gets two BJ’s and comes back to give you one.
    You’re welcome! :)

  • Stache99

    @QJ201: “Meh, Tina’s been beatin’ the boys up since the 1990s. The Meth epidemic started in SF over 20 years ago. Hit NYC hard in 2000.”

    You’re kind of flippant but so right. I was in SF in 1996 and watched it hit NY somewhere in the 2000’s. This makes it seem like it’s just happened when it’s been ongoing for many many years now.

  • Jethrine

    Don’t you think Kaiser is perpetuating the very affliction that he laments by referring to barebacking meth users as “the best and brightest among us?” He’s an idiot.

  • Stache99

    @Curtispsf: Damn. I guess I’m not the only one that noticed that. Yes I used in the 90’s/2000’s in SF and yes I was addicted to meth…..many years ago though. From what I remember it sure was fun but that kind of party always has to end somewhere.

    Honestly, I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as it was back then. As you say. We either died or got in recovery. He’s way late to the “party” though. That ship sailed many moons ago. I guess it’s always a good message though.

    Drugs will always be with us as long as young men and women need an escape.

  • Stache99

    Actually, I kind of agree with this. Hell no would I of ever listened to some old man lecturing me about the perils of my fun. Btw. I do anyways but do it with the knowledge it’s probably not going to mean jack. Young drug addicts are the most stubborn people on the planet.

    2. One must never tell a gay brother that what he is doing to himself can, or probably will, kill him. You will only increase his sense of isolation by doing so. No young gay man wants any advice, so it’s a mortal sin to offer any. All young gay men feel this way, without exception. Everybody knows this!

  • Stache99

    @Joe: “I thank God everyday I came out of unscathed.”

    I know you didn’t intend it but I cringe when my athiest ears hear that. Saying that means God looked out for me but said fuck the others. They’re not worth it. Bad figure of speech.

  • Tombear

    You gay guys all know what they call a gay man who is heavy user of Tina for more than 5 years don’t you?—————DEAD

  • poppupz

    Expecting adherence or immediate “change” in any person suffered through their formative years under complete social, religious and institutionalized discrimination, rejection and or abuse by governing forces such as the U.S. government, parents, “leaders” is just not wise nor I feel fair. Should the low self esteem building of those “in command” be used as an excuse? No.
    One issue I have with the subject matter is its a narrow approach to drug problems, heroin, cocaine and so forth all have a demographic of users that are heterosexual that experience the wreckage of drug abuse and addiction. I think more focus should be put into promoting PREP and more logical ways to approach the matter. Barebacking, breeding, etc hasnt stopped since the 80’s, 70’s or when Jesus was born I am sure.

    Meth is a nasty drug too…the Nazi’s developed that drug.

  • poppupz

    @Tombear: same is true for heroin users, crack smokers, alcoholics, coke heads…a good many of them die too and arent gay. See what isnt working is the cyclical war against drug users. Drug use didnt stop when it was illegal or not.

  • Doughosier

    I lost a friend to meth. I’ve seen firsthand what it can do and how few can quit once it’s got ahold of them. It’s the worst drug of th all. It has to become ” uncool” to even try!

  • brandon

    Everyone wants to be the voice of the gay community, but we all have our individual experiences. I wouldn’t be interested in “advice” from someone who doesn’t know anything about me.

  • libertineman

    The comments have deteriorated into a bitch fight between commenters instead of giving opinions as to the article and the author of the article. Don’t you remember we have freedom of speech, and everyone is entitled to his opinion, no matter if you disagree.

  • Matt_R

    He has a point about the destructiveness of meth and condomless sex, but his arguments would be a lot more persuasive if he grounded them in accurate information instead of hunches and generalizations. How does he know that gay people who use meth are “hundreds of thousands of the best and brightest among us,” while straight people who use it are viewed as stupid and impoverished? He’s clearly mistaken about one thing: he assumes that gay men on PrEP are less likely to use condoms, but researchers have found it isn’t true. Gay men are also more likely than straight men to use condoms in the first place, but Kaiser assumes the opposite. Personally, I’d be interested in his evidence that “millions” of gay people are “taboo-phobic,” or that there’s a monolithic gay male culture that “reveres sex.”

    On the other hand, we need to use condoms still more, because we’re more likely to have anal sex. I’m pretty much on board with the prescriptions Kaiser makes, but I think he would get a lot more traction if his premises were sound. Those meth-using, condomless gay men might actually clean up their act if they knew that most in our community are not on board with their risky behavior.

  • Tombear

    Matt_R How is this for anecdotal proof. All of my friends who used meth from 10 years ago are dead. Quite frankly if you choose to use meth, I really don’t care. I’m not your daddy!

    • Stache99

      @alphacentauri: Every study done is proving that Truvada when used correctly is 100% effective. Do you ever tire of fear mongering with false information ie talking out of your ass?

    • joe

      @Stache99: see stache99 (not blamming you just saying)this is the crap that scares the hell out of me and why when i read it i’m glad ive not been having sex. one side on here is saying that these prep drugs are so bad they will kill you the other said saying they are fine use a condom too, another side saying fuck your brains out you dont need to use condoms just take the prep drugs. although i can tell you that after being on a prep drug (not for hiv prevention)for almost 3 yrs now every 6 mos my blood work is excellent…well still excellent according to all these guys i’m a bomb waiting to go off

  • Brian

    This culture of condoms and crystal meth exposes the fundamental weakness of the gay male community. The weakness is this: it’s a community based on a sex act.

    You cannot build a community on a sex act.

  • alphacentauri

    @Dev.C: PreP/Truvada have horrible long and short term side effects as all HIV meds do, they’re expensive, and just because someone takes PreP/Truvada that doesn’t mean that they can bareback all they want and that they’re going to stay HIV neg or STD free. Condoms while they’re not perfect and do not protect against all STDs are far more effective and less toxic than PreP/Truvada is. A lot of men who are into barebacking on PrEP/Truvada and think that the med will keep them “neg” are in for a nasty surprise when they eventually become HIV+.

  • scotshot

    @QJ201: Meth was around in the 1980s. Like coke and pot its use was originally within a very small circle.

  • Stache99

    @Brian: Then why the fuck do you stick around since you seem hate the gay community so much?

  • scotshot

    @Brian: @Brian: First, you’re nuts. Second, it’s not nice to spread hat.

    We wonder if you are doing crystal meth? Something’s wrong in you.

    • Stache99

      @youarekiddingme: Joe isn’t taking it for HIV. He has chronic Hepatitis B.

  • scotshot

    *That’s hate, not hat. Of course hat is not a bad thing, only hate is.

  • youarekiddingme

    @scotshot: No, No not Crystal Meth…He and Jason Smeds (same person) and O.Codone are all doing Oxycodone together. I think they crush it and do it rectally. Same place their heads are!

  • youarekiddingme

    @joe: Joe, Do what your doctor is tellying you to do. You are obviously taking it to control HIV I assume? Don’t listen to others here. They’re not doctors. You gotta do what you have to do to stay healthy. All the indications are good at this time. Very little to worry about. The first HIV drugs were extremely dangerous and had horrible side effects. I wish you the best in your LONG and HAPPY LIFE!

    • joe

      not hiv taking the same drug (viread) for hep b, it affords prep protection though as well. but still on the sex break for almost 3 yrs now

  • Jezzerat

    @Stache99: And what does Truvada do for hepatitis, syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, HPV…?

  • Stache99

    @Jezzerat: Hmm…um nothing. I never stated it as such. Was only talking about HIV.

  • Stache99

    @Jezzerat: Btw…you can get all those through “safe sex” too.

  • Brian

    @Stache99: I love homosexual desire but I don’t particularly like the gay community. I think the gay community is fake and dated.

  • Stache99

    @Stache99: @joe: Well, Joe. You have actual experience with it and seem to be doing fine and not just another commenter posting their no nothing opinion. I do respect that. Even your sex negativity which I still don’t get but.. Ha ha.

    • joe

      @Stache99: not negativity rather FEAR lol..like the old saying “there’s no education in getting kicked by the mule twice”

  • Stache99

    @Brian: Ok. Great. Moving on…

  • joe

    by the way stache let me see what you look like send a pic or two or three i’ll return muscnud.aol-com

  • onthemark

    @Brian: “I love homosexual desire but I don’t particularly like the gay community.”

    The gay community doesn’t like you either.

  • youarekiddingme

    @joe: No offense Joe. That’s why I made the comment with a “?” Anyway, I still wish you the best. Again I believe it’s one of the best, safest drugs on the market, especially when taken as the doctor prescribed.


    Brian, the gay community doesn’t like, nobody likes you…that’s why you’re sitting in that dark closet in the hospital…now take your meds and get off the doctor’s computer.

  • Giancarlo85

    Oh so PreP can protect you from drug resistant gonorrhea? I didn’t think so. Some of you guys are dangerous to not just yourselves, but to others. You just think you can take a pill and bareback all you want without catching anything. Dangerous and reckless… but have at it. It’s your body. Keep thinking you’re invincible with a pill whose long term side effects haven’t even properly studied.

    @Brian: Says the guy who likes pre-LGBT movement times… you want to go back to the 1950s or something. Talk about DATED.

  • andreleneal

    In your case, you know your status and tell the truth. You don’t represent everyone. Many lie. Many avoid testing. If you can’t communicate the disease, it isn’t the same as being negative, I agree. But the decision of a person not to have sex with you is fear-based, not logic or science-based. My point is that the more we understand about STIs, the better we can protect ourselves. Because avoiding sex with Poz People is clearly not working.

  • JoshGL

    “Bareback sex is perfectly fine if both people are healthy. Absolutely fine. In fact, I’d recommend it if you are into it. You have absolutely no need for condoms if you are both healthy. There is absolutely no scientific need to wear a condom if you are both STD-free.”

    That’s true. As long as you are monogamous and have tested free of all STDs, including HIV, after a recommended period.

    And have absolute trust and certainty that you and your partner will never, ever stray.

    Which, of course, has been proven unlikely time and time again.


    There will be another AIDS. Nature teaches us that it is just a matter of time.

    And if it should occur again in my lifetime – in the next 30 or 40 years – I will be sorely, sorely tempted to turn my back on the crisis. People who speak so cavalierly about HIV now clearly were not at the epicenters when the epidemic began.

    People were raising the alarm in the late 70s. They were shouted down by those who viewed sexual freedom as political expression. And the same nonsense is being thrown around again.

    We have been talking about this for a decade:


    I believe that Larry Kramer has it right:

    “You are still murdering each other. Please stop with all the generalizations and avoidance excuses gays have used since the beginning to ditch this responsibility for this fact.” – 2005

    “anybody who voluntarily takes an antiviral every day has got to have rocks in their heads. There’s something to me cowardly about taking Truvada instead of using a condom. You’re taking a drug that is poison to you, and it has lessened your energy to fight, to get involved, to do anything.” – 2014

  • andreleneal

    It isn’t about invincibility, bro. It’s about living a life that’s predicated by actions and intent, not fear and self-loathing. I don’t take PrEP to have condom less sex, I take it because it’s another way to protect myself from HIV and the jury’s still out on hepatitis. Knowing that rubbers are 70% effective with HIV and that HPV and Herpes aren’t protected at all, we gotta ask ourselves how to win. So rather than being reductive and judgmental, because some people already have these diseases,let’s seek as many worthwhile solutions as possible, reduce stigma to encourage testing, and recognize that education is the best protextion.

  • Lee Devain

    Natural selection?

  • Tombear

    The bottom line is don’t be a ho! Limit the number of sex partners you have. Find a nice man and settle into an exclusive relationship. Fuck these poisons like Truvada. OK use Truvada if you want but until your body gets use to the drug you will be spending many hours on the toilet!————-Daddy

  • thomas prentice

    The writer is wrong on #1. It is NOT like ruffling a Trot cell. It is like coming out as a HOMO to your parents, voluntarily or involuntarily in the 1970s. OR ruffling a Baptist cell. Or a MegaChurch cell. Or a Roman Catholic cell. Or dissenting to Labour Union bosses in bed with capitalist bosses like the WORKERS at Chrysler/Fiat just did. Or violating Democratic Party encyclicals. Or being a WHISTLEBLOWER. et cetera.

    And THEN there is the fine example of the “gay” and formerly oppressed, NOW constitutionally able-to-get-married in Texas Federal Judge of Austin, Texas, who just agreed to UNCONSTITUTIONALLY allow the State of Texas to DENY birth certificates to Texas (US)-born children of immigrants not living in the United States with appropriate legal documentation. (NO HUMAN is illegal.) Here is the link to the story about THIS stinking constitutionally heartless HYPOCRITE (gay) U.S. District Judge Robert Pitman (one “t” please) who appointed by Obama upon the recommendation of Texas two corrupt, capitalist fascist Republithug US Senators, John Cornyn and Ted Cruz. The story is by al-Jazeera:

    Judge allows Texas to deny birth certificates to children of immigrants / Immigrant families argued that denying the document harmed their children’s right to healthcare, travel and schooling



  • youarekiddingme

    @thomas prentice: I don’t know what even got you on the topic of the Texas Birth Certificate issue but….If you want to go there….Here’s an excerpt from YOUR ARTICLE:

    “At issue is the acceptance of identification cards — known as matriculas consulares — issued by Mexican consulates to citizens living and working in the United States. Lawyers for the families contend that prior to 2013 they were able to present these document, as well as foreign passports without U.S. visas in them, and obtain birth certificates in Texas.”

    Personally, I see the objection over not issuing birth certificates without proper identification. Birth Cerificates are Extremely Important Documents…not to be handled lightly. ID Cards issued from Mexico is hardly proof of anything. You need to read the entire article. The attorney general also supports the judges’ opinion. I don’t want birth certificates “handed out” either. It’s common practice that if a child is born in a hospital, a birth certificate is issued. Period. We’re talking about a very few people involved in this situation. It’s going to be tough for them but unfortunately the burden of proof is on them to prove the child was born here. (There’s more to the article that supports this but I’m sure you can read that for yourself).

    Now, I have no idea what this has to do with the topic other than to politically attempt to slam Obama!

    Gay Liberation? Gay Incorporated? Wtf? How about Gay Rights…Equal Rights? We’re still fighting for those!
    Meth and Bareback sex are nothing new so unless you’ve been Rip Van Winkle since the 1970’s I have no idea how you missed any of that!

  • VirginiaBiker

    Thanks so much!

  • onthemark

    @andreleneal: Just ignore Giancarlo85 – nobody likes sex advice from a virgin!

  • Brian

    Homosexual desire has been around since time began. The gay rights movement has been around for only about 50 years or so.

    As such, homosexual desire trumps the gay rights movement.

    I find it annoying when activists/authors pontificate about homosexual desire as if it’s only been around since the dawn of the gay rights movement.

    As for the crystal meth side of things, count me out. I don’t need to create an illusion of a high in my life.

  • Joe


    For some it may be inappropriate. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Sometimes, we, I use “Thank God” without realizing it came out of our mouths.


    I don’t hold myself on a pedal stool either. I had morals and was very awate of what was happening around me. I was working in a successful gay night club and could have had “the pick of the hotties” and chose not to go home hom with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I saw my friends getting sick and very fast. It put a fear in me that I never want to feel again. I felt, at the age of 19, to make very good decisions. I respect your honesty. ou were not willing to go home with the hotties as I was too. There is nothing wrong with being brutally honest.Now I fear for those friends who have continued to “party” as if he were back in the 80’s. I know it’s an addiction. But I don’t know how to help? They don’t know that I know they have an addiction to meth let along HIV+. I am kinda’ stuck here. I know what I need to do, but how I do it is another story.

  • Joe

    I don’t think people realize that this epidemic is killing our community. It’s hard to tell young gay men what the real deal is. They often don’t want to hear it and feel they are like Superman. Indestructible. This is like the epidemic of the 80’s that’s of our times as I speak. Meth you feel (I am told) and loose your inhibitions and sex is more euphoric. We have to educate the youngsters, but how do we do that if they’re not willing to listen and rather cram the clubs, doing crystal and going home with an unknown? It’s frustrating.

  • DJ_Gayburn

    This is a perfect example of how our community can’t accept criticism. This guy wrote one article about the rampant meth problem in the gay community (an article that I personally feel rings true about every gay community I’ve ever experienced) and the whole community jumps down his throat over it. This level of denial is exactly what cause the AIDS epidemic to go so far before we got serious about combating it, why would we ignore our meth problem too?

  • Giancarlo85

    @andreleneal: Hepatitis is one thing. But do you know gonorrhea has basically become a superbug and is a public health disaster for our community? And it’s not responding to medication anymore.

    ” It’s about living a life that’s predicated by actions and intent, not fear and self-loathing.”

    Awesome. What is self loathing about wanting to stay healthy and preserve one’s life? Unlike what Offthemark says I am right on point. I am not a virgin, but I also am not stupid. I get it though… you want condomless sex because the sensation is better and you are foolishly thinking that PreP will protect you.

    “So rather than being reductive and judgmental, because some people already have these diseases,let’s seek as many worthwhile solutions as possible, reduce stigma to encourage testing, and recognize that education is the best protextion.”

    That’s nice dear. All the while basically having and encouraging bareback sex… and thinking you’re protected.

    There is a point you’re missing from PrEP manufacturers… their medication is meant to be used in conjunction with condoms. I am not against PrEP, however I am wary about it’s medium/long term side effects which have not been properly studied.

    Bareback sex isn’t a worthwhile solution and testing isn’t going to help, while bareback sex continues. Oh, and condoms have lowered enormous HIV rates in certain countries. Some Christians like to say abstinence actually cut HIV rates in Uganda (I hate using Uganda as an example because of their deplorable human rights, but that is a different topic). What sharply cut the rate of HIV spreading was actually condoms. They are more than 70% effective if used properly.

  • Giancarlo85

    Offthemark always resorts to ad hominems… what else is new? When he can’t even read what I’ve posted… he needs to resort to personal attacks. I’m sorry that I’m not defending his dangerous behavior of barebacking every stranger he meets. I just don’t think that way.

  • notevenwrong

    PrEP is not $30,000 a year. It is covered by most insurance plans, the manufacturer has a copay assistance plan, and it is provided free through outreach programs in some cities like New York and San Francisco.

    I pay nothing for mine.

  • notevenwrong

    @alphacentauri: “PreP/Truvada have horrible long and short term side effects as all HIV meds do.”


  • notevenwrong

    Meth SHOULD be a badge of poverty, according to the author???

    Typical rich white privileged gay male.

  • GTT


    The gay rights movement is about recognizing the scientific fact that some people are born with a sexual orientation that is different from the vast majority.

    Like height and skin color – gays and bisexuals have an innate sexual orientation that is biologically different from the majority’s sexual orientation which is heterosexual.

    You are in denial about this. Your denial does not change this fact. Your denial might be based on religious indoctrination and the ex-gay movement.
    Not sure – but it sure seems like it.

    Just because you cannot see sexual orientation on the OUTSIDE – like you can see skin color – does not make it any less innate. Sexual and romantic attraction is determined in a region of the brain.

    Brian – your gig is up – and so is the gig of the ex-gay nuts. Sexual orientation is no more a religious issue that the age of the earth is.

    Human knowledge grows exponentially – and human knowledge re: sexual orientation has expanded quite a bit since the 1950s and since the Roman times.

    Welcome to the 21st century Brian – we are not turning back – you are just sounding crazier and crazier.

  • Giancarlo85

    The fact are some startling facts coming out about PrEP. And I predict a class action lawsuit as some of the more significant side effects start to emerge.

  • GTT


    People should be made aware of all of the side effects of PrEP – and then if they still want to take it they should be allowed to – because some of these side effects are reversible and of course are better then being HIV+.

    It is a decision that people should be allowed to make until a vaccine comes out.

  • JoshGL

    So, ummm, no need for condoms then:


    This is most likely a very rare case but people are crazy if they don’t think there are other pathogens coming down the pike.

    But, hey, how could we possibly know?

  • Giancarlo85

    @JoshGL: That’s extremely rare, and that disease will be stamped out.

    As I said, there are already superbugs out there that are exploding (like drug resistant gonorrhea).

  • dbmcvey

    @andreleneal: Where did you get that statistic? I’ve seen that, used correctly, condoms are effective 95%.

  • Brian

    @GTT: Nobody is born with a sexual orientation – nobody. Sexual desire is, indeed, innate but that is totally different from saying that one is born with it.

    Homosexual desire has been around since time began but its politicization is only a recent phenomenon. Politicizing homosexual desire has served its purpose but now it’s distorting male sexuality, creating boundaries and increasing the distance between men. As a gender, men should be united, not divided. Gay politics has created too much division.

    Keep this in mind: you are a man first, and have sexual desires second.

  • Cam

    Did Danny Pintaro write this article?

  • Giancarlo85

    @Brian: Everybody is born with a sexual orientation. They just don’t realize it until later. Sexual orientation is not a choice by definition. The APA and AMA both see it this way. If you disagree, you are going up against hundreds of experts in the field.

    Sexual orientation has nothing to do with politics. And what politicization? By saying you want to be treated equally? There is no “politicization”. And people like you make humans divided. You are one deprived sychophant. Gay politics? Rather try equality. And not everyone wants to live by your stupid gender definitions.

    You are also the one who said you want to go back into the closet (if you aren’t already) and back to a pre-1950s time. Not everyone wants to live like you. There is no way I would agree with anything you have said nor would I feel any sort of unity with someone as twisted as you.

  • Giancarlo85

    @dbmcvey: He made it up. Condoms, if used correctly, are 95-97% effective. This is proven in entire countries where the HIV infection rates were drastically reduced. I do agree they do not prevent other STDs, but I guess one should know their partner(s) and perhaps be a little less of a whore.

  • GTT


    You are lying or willfully ignorant. People ARE BORN with a sexual orientation. Just like people are BORN right handed or left handed or are BORN to be over 6’5″ or under 5’0″ for example.

    You are not a scientist and are not qualified to write on the topic.

    Sexual orientation is determined by the structure of a certain portion of the brain that determines sexual attraction. This is the biological of sexual orientation 101.

    Gay men’s brains are physiologically different than their straight men’s counterpart – same for gay women.

  • GTT


    By posting lies and misinformation about gays here – you are accomplishing just the opposite of your goal – you realize that, right?

    Because in response to your lies and misinformation the rest of us are writing the truth – so that others can read it – including young people.

    The truth always rises to the top.

    You live in a world of ignorance and stupidity when it comes to this issue as if science does not matter. Sounds like religion to me. Same problem the middle east has.

  • GTT

    People like Brian can’t stand diversity – or that people are born different from one another. They want everyone to be the same.

    This is a power and control issue.

  • Pete

    @andreleneal: When used properly, condoms are extremely effective against HIV. They should be at least as efficacious against both HPV and HSV1 and HSV2, as well as HCV, since they’re all viruses. Moreover, they should be even more effective in protecting against bacterial pathogens like GC/Chlamydia and syphilis, since bacteria are considerably larger than virons.

    Of course the working term here is ‘used properly’, i.e. put on snuggly, checked periodically, removed safely.

  • surreal33

    Denial truly is not just a river in Egypt! There is a faction of gay men who believe
    unprotected anal intercourse is a right and should not be question under any circumstances! An alarming number of gay men try to rationalize this narrative as acceptable and normal. In addition, gay men hit a new low with an ignorant, lying, DOUCHE bag, Danny Pintauro, as a representative. There is a underlying subtext within the gay community that it is cool to abuse drugs and engage in random unprotected sex.

  • Giancarlo85

    @surreal33: One said in this article that unprotected anal intercourse is like cocaine. That’s basicaly what has some men hooked on it. I feel great embarrassment that we still fail to recognize the dangers of bareback sex. As if the last 40 years haven’t been an indication as to why it’s a bad idea.

  • notevenwrong

    @Giancarlo85, nobody is attacking straight people for having bareback sex, which, like gay people, they do because condoms suck for most people (otherwise most people, gay and straight, would be using them, which is simply not happening however much you may protest). I know HIV is more common in the gay community but at least PrEP levels the playing field. I think there is a lot of internalized homophobia in play here.

    Also, for perspective, Cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhea (i.e., antibiotic-resistant strains) have *decreased* in the past 20 years, not increased as you appear to think. Antibiotic resistant gonorrhea is a much larger problem for heterosexuals (around 6% of cases in straights are resistant) compared to around 1% of gonorrhea cases in MSM: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26259560

    Also, FWIW, even cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhea can be successfully treated with antibiotic combination therapies.

  • JoshGL

    “cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhea can be successfully treated with antibiotic combination therapies”

    I wish you added “at the moment” there. That would be far more accurate.

  • GTT


    Gay men have more sex than their straight counterparts. So although there might be an element of internalized homophobia – in general there is more promiscuity in the gay male community which means more reason to lecture gay males about bareback sex.

  • Giancarlo85

    @notevenwrong: I attack straight people for bareback sex. They too spread STDs and HIV. Plus they have kids they can’t support. There are hundreds of thousands of orphans out there. Parents who simply abandoned them because they couldn’t support their responsibilities.

    You are totally wrong if you think there is internalized homophobia. Just because I don’t like or approve of bareback anal sex doesn’t mean I have internalized homophobia. Your mentality is dangerous.

    Also condom usage is going up for heterosexuals, hence why the birth rates are declining significantly. This is even happening in developing countries. I would like to see more gay men use condoms. And no, it doesn’t have to suck. If it sucks using a condom, then you’re doing it wrong.

    You are absolutely wrong if you think Antibiotic resistant gonorrhea has declined for gay men. Absolutely wrong. I posted articles showing it is exploding among MSM.

    You’re attitude is a big problem… you curse condoms and say they take away the feeling. You need to realize GTT is spot on. There is far more promiscuity among gay men. This is simply a fact.

  • Giancarlo85

    LOL I have “internalized homophobia” because I don’t approve of bareback sex.

    See guys, even these gay men can’t handle criticism of their activities. They think anyone who criticizes them is homophobic. Dead wrong. I am proudly gay, and I am for safe sex (which includes various protections such as a condom). A condom does not take away the feeling. Anyone who says it is has an agenda to defend their own high risk sexual activity or is doing it wrong.

  • kuma6963

    Brian – the idea that Queen Victoria made no mention of female homosexuality when homosexuality was made prosecutable, isn’t hers originally – the monotheistic religions of Abraham were and are way more obsessed about gay men than women. It’s seen in the jokes ‘what do women even *do*?’ The takeaway is that male sexuality is ‘scarier’ or potent in the eyes of society. Two men = terrifying to homophobic societies. But this doesn’t exactly “benefit” women. As we aren’t allowed to exist in that mindset. Obviously it’s not supposed to be a contest of who has it worst and all-or-nothing thinking. How about the idea that much homophobia is a specifically twisted form of misogyny?
    Not starting a fight, you got plenty – just wondering.

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