Welcome out of the closet, Archbishop John Nienstedt! For years, you’ve made yourself the enemy of gay and lesbian families. Frankly, we always had our suspicions about you, based on the conduct of your friends like Mark Foley and Larry Craig. But the evidence is mounting and now there’s a full-blown investigation, so we might as well go ahead and welcome you into the LGBT community. If we must.
It’s been a difficult few years for you. You’ve dedicated yourself tireless to slandering gay folks — now why would you do that? — by saying obviously insane things like homosexuality is the result of mental damage.
You also raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to oppose Minnesota’s marriage equality efforts. Well, “raised” might be the wrong word, since you just gave $650,000 in church funds. Isn’t it great how you can use your job to be a tax-dodging lobbyist?
And what did you get for your efforts? Marriage is legal, public support for LGBTs has never been higher, and membership in superstitious bigoted institutions is dwindling fast.
How about we take this to the next level?
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To be honest, there’s never been a better time to come out. So maybe it’s a good thing that ten allegations have surfaced that you’ve had sexytime relationships with other male clergy.
Hey, at least you weren’t accused of touching a young boy inappropriately again. We all know about your organization’s enthusiasm for that sort of misbehavior, so it must have been a relief when you were cleared of that charge last year. Well, a relief to you, of course. Probably not so much for the young boy.
The church will investigate the new allegations, which so far are pretty vague. All we know is that they involve “sexual misconduct” with priests. Was it the missionary position?
It’s possible that your “misconduct” was just an innocent fun blowjob or a little light bondage. Whatever it was, we hope you had fun! There’s no reason to feel guilty about that sort of thing, even though people like you have been insisting that there is for years.
Lvng1tor
I can just imagine all those PedoPriests getting grossed out by hearing this guy did it with adult men
mjmarkic
What do you expect from immature, sexually repressed, arrogant men???…having been born, raised and educated Catholic I know about the repression, fear, ignorance and lack of simple knowledge of Real Life that I had foisted upon me…the Churches are empty, and the irrelevance of the Catholic Church just keeps becoming more clear every time something like this happens…Happy to be who I am a well educated, divorced, ex-catholic, Out & Proud Gay man!!!
Dakotahgeo
Bishop Finny-Finn-Finn of the Kansas City-St. Joseph just got slapped with a $1.1MILLION dollar fine by the Courts for not abiding by an agreed Court decision on the settlement case in 2008 for $10 Million. Not to mention Finny’s indictment and finding of guilty in covering for a priest (Shawn Ratigan) who had CHILD PORN on his CHURCH computer! You really cannot make this shit up! This is the Real McCoy! And it’s like the Energizer Bunny… it just keeps going, and going, and going, and FUC*ING GOING……..!
Dakotahgeo
@Dakotahgeo: Kansas City-St. Joseph, MO, DIOCESE*
Geoff B
Well color me shocked. Next thing we’ll be hearing that Lindsey Lohan like vodka.
Billy Budd
The Vatican is obsessed with sex and pornography. I read an article about the google searches they make, and most are about SEX. These guys are closeted queens. CRAZY ones. They are the worst kind of hypocrites.
masc4masc
@Lvng1tor: Good one. You’re actually pretty funny when you’re not bitching.
Lvng1tor
@masc4masc: I think I’m cute too…
MCHG
Or, you know, it’s just an accusation.
Geoff B
@MCHG: Maybe you’re right, but a rabid homophobe in a gay sex scandal isn’t exactly a huge leap and with all the crap he and people like him have rained upon the LGBT population with the help of blantant lies and fraud, even if none of this is true, it’s not even close to payback.
Cobalt Blue
Calm down, fags. The Church is bigger than its staff and it’ll remain here when all of you will be wearing a wooden caftan.
gaym50ish
Yes, these guys are hypocrites. But it’s actually a strong faith in the church that motivates young Catholics who have homosexual leanings to enter the priesthood. The church has taught them that homosexuality is wrong, and they believe they can never act on their sexual feelings. The only answer for them, they think, is a life of chastity and service to God.
Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey said as much to a New York Post reporter. He was aware of his true sexual orientation at an early age and did everything he could to overcome it, including marrying twice. And he considered entering the Catholic priesthood because he hoped a vow of chastity would solve his “dilemma.”
The problem comes when the priest discovers that a life of chastity is nearly impossible for a healthy man. If he has adult relationships as Archbishop Nienstedt did, that’s not a problem for anyone, in my opinion. But the more common result is that they exploit the boys in their flocks who are taught to revere their priests.
Estimates of gays in the priesthood range from 20 percent to 50 percent, and it’s the sexual teachings of the church and the celibacy requirement that promote that situation. Father Bernard Lynch, a gay Catholic priest and author of “If it Wasn’t Love: Sex, Death and God,” said he had been in a same-sex relationship for 14 years, and he estimated that half of all Catholic priests are gay.
In a 2012 interview about his book and his coming-out, Father Lynch said, “Most priests, straight or gay, do not have the gift of celibacy. They get twisted in their own psychosexual development. And they end up, most unfortunately, visiting that twistedness on the most vulnerable, who happen to be children.”
Cam
@Cobalt Blue: said… “Calm down, fags. The Church is bigger than its staff and it’ll remain here when all of you will be wearing a wooden caftan.”
___________________
Yeah, nice try bigot, lets take a look at how the church is bigger than it’s staff. When true stories of the MAgdeline houses got out in Ireland membership in the Church there dropped by more than 25% NATIONWIDE. Scandals about similar horrible treatment of young girls dropped membership hugely throughout Europe. Even in U.S. states with large Catholic Population the numbers have dropped significantly due to the various scandals.
So you keep on screaming, your lies don’t alter the facts. Anti-gay people, like yourself for instance, or usually self hating closet cases. Just like this Archbishop.
justSomeGuyFromNJ
But…but…don’t you know? Christians are being persecuted in this country. Christians aren’t persecuting the gays!
O.M.F.G.
Stefano
@justSomeGuyFromNJ : yep you are right. Christians are persecuted in USA. Homosexuals are atheists and predators. They eat Christians flesh.
MCHG
@Geoff B: oh, payback? Are we now using gay identity to punish people? Funny how MLK never had to lower himself to making false accusations. Not to mention the pain accusations like this can cause to his friends and family. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Mezaien
The mother fucker is Antigay But not anti HOMOSEXUALITY! man I could have shown him some real wonders.
Cam
@MCHG:
Your comment only works if you see calling somebody gay as a huge insult. Which would seem to indicate something about you.
As for MLK, exactly WHICH false accusation could he make? He couldn’t exactly go around deciding “Hmmm, I think I’m going to call Grace Kelly or Charles Linburgh Black”.