It's unbelievable that such a high percentage of men, in a city jam-packed with doctors for every economic level, would not be out to their primary healthcare-giver. Lie to your family and friends if you must, but you really have to suck it up and be honest to your doctor. If your doctor reacts in any way that makes you uncomfortable, change doctors.

Well, ideally, you should have this discussion outside of the exam room, and hopefully part of a general check-up, as your introduction to each other. I do realize some people's HMOs deny them a feeling of intimacy or privacy–and that there are some fears this "medical information," such as an HIV test, would get back to an employer–but there are HIPAA regulations to protect you.

What's really worse, a wasted copay, or months, possibly years, of having to tell half truths and lies to a person who's supposed to be scientific-minded enough not to care about your orientation? There are doctors in NYC who specialize in [gay] men's health, but this advice holds true for anyone in any city, nearly any town. I realize there aren't as many options elsewhere, but even practitioners in small towns had to be trained somewhere else (and rural-serving generalists often have even more training than their specialized colleagues).

Think about it this way: Would you go to an ER and deliberately omit a symptom of whatever was ailing you? I'm not suggesting (in the slightest) that being gay is some kind of disease, only that lifestyle is also a series of daily health choices. If you came in with a sprain, would you lie about going to the gym? If you showed up with a cold, would you omit the fact that you might have been cozying up to someone in restroom at a club? I mean, you don't have to be brutally, graphically honest, but if there's one person you should entrust as the "coconspirator of your body," then let it be someone specifically trained to help fix things when they go wrong.