Kristi Noem

It seems like meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un would be an unforgettable event. But Kristi Noem can’t seem to recall whether she stood face-to-face with the brutal authoritarian.

South Dakota’s gay-hating governor continues to promote her damaging autobiography, in which she brags about shooting her puppy in a “gravel pit” in front of a “startled construction crew.” Last week, Noem defended her twisted conducted in multiple interviews, and is still on her self-immolation tour.

On Sunday, she was a guest on CBS’ Face The Nation, and asked about another eye-raising anecdote: her alleged meeting with Kim. In the book, titled No Going Back, Noem recounts the seemingly fabricated event. She says it happened when she served on the House Armed Service’s Committee from 2013-15.

“I remember when I met with North Korea dictator Kim Jong Un,” she says. “I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants…”

Experts on U.S. and North Korea relations immediately questioned Noem’s dramatic tale, especially given the fraught relations (to say the least) between the two nations.

Syd Seiler, a former U.S. intelligence officer, told the AP it’s impossible that a congressional delegation could’ve met with Kim without significant news coverage… or him knowing. He worked at the White House and State Department over that time and was never notified of a meeting.

“Nothing like this happened,” he said without equivocation.

Noem wasn’t nearly as direct when Face The Nation host Margaret Brennan asked her point bleak: did she meet with Kim?

She responded with word salad.

“I’ve met with many, many world leaders,” she claimed. “Many world leaders”

“I’ve traveled around the world. I talk extensively in this book about my time serving in Congress, my time as governor, before governor. Some of the travels I’ve had. I’m not going to talk about my specific meetings with world leaders. I’m just not going to do that.”

There are at least two other fabricated or exaggerated tales from Noem’s ghostwritten bio.

She says she canceled a planned meeting last year with France president Emmanuel Macron, after he made “pro-Hamas” statements to the press. But when the Dakota Scout tried to confirm the alleged sit-down, Macron’s office said nothing was ever scheduled.

(Macron called for a ceasefire in the Israel-Palestine conflict November 10, which might be what Noem means by a “pro-Hamas” statement, but who knows!)

Noem also apparently misconstrued a phone call with Nikki Haley. In her book, she claims the former U.N. Ambassador threatened her during a 2021 conversation.

But Haley’s words don’t seem very threatening! Noem recalls the ex-South Carolina governor offering her praise and mentorship. From Politico:

“Hi, Governor, this is Ambassador Nikki Haley, and I just wanted to introduce myself and have a conversation. I just wanted to let you know that I follow you quite a bit. I have heard quite a bit about you, and you are doing a good job there in South Dakota. I was thinking that maybe you might like a mentor, and maybe I could be someone who could do that for you. Because you’re a governor, you’ve gone through some challenging things that I did as well. I would be more than willing to be a mentor, because you’ve never been in this type of role before.”

She went on to tell me about her life story, her résumé, and some of the challenges she faced in her legislature as governor and as ambassador to the United Nations reading daily talking points from the State Department. Once again, I recall, she offered to mentor me, as she was sure I was facing some decisions and situations I’d never seen before. …

So where was the threat, you ask? Noem also remembers Haley mentioned she would keep her abreast of any negative stories floating around about her. Once again Politico has more:

She went on to tell me about her life story, her résumé, and some of the challenges she faced in her legislature as governor and as ambassador to the United Nations reading daily talking points from the State Department. Once again, I recall, she offered to mentor me, as she was sure I was facing some decisions and situations I’d never seen before. …

After what seemed to me a bit of an awkward pause, she added, “I … just … also want you to know one more thing … I’ve heard a lot of really good things about you. But I also want you to know that if I hear something bad … I will be sure to let you know.”

Hmmm. Maybe Noem thought that Haley was indicating there were negative stories about her? Or she was insinuating there were going to be? Either way, it requires a lot of mental gymnastics to turn those helpful words into threats.

After the call, Noem says she told her assistant she was “just threatened” by the one-time presidential candidate. “It was clear that she wanted me to know that there was only room for one Republican woman in the spotlight. It was weird,” she says.

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But according to a Haley spokesperson, what’s weird is Noem’s recollection of the warm conversation. He said there is record of the call, but it happened during 2020, not 2021. He also claimed it wasn’t unusual for Haley to connect with other high-ranking female politicians.

“Nikki has long called and written notes supporting other women when they go through challenging times,” he said. “She called Governor Noem in 2020 to encourage her when she was criticized for keeping her state open during Covid. How she would twist that into a threat is just plain weird.”

Haley’s son also came to her defense, calling Noem a “psycho puppy killer” and “pathological liar.”

Noem has admitted partial defeat on the Haley story, blaming her ghostwriter for messing up the date. But she was holding strong on Kim, until her publisher raised the metaphorical white flag late Sunday.

Determined to keep lighting herself aflame, Noem appeared Monday on CBS This Morning, and once again refused to answer whether she met with Kim or not. Even being confronted with her publisher’s statement wasn’t enough.

“When I became aware of that, we changed the content, and the future editions will be adjusted. I met with many, many world leaders. I’ve traveled around the world. I should not have put that anecdote in the book, and at my request, they have removed it,” she said.

Looking for clarity, co-host Nate Burleson again asked Noem whether the specific meeting happened.

She responded with more of the same inanity.

“I’m saying that I’m not talking about that meeting, I’m not talking about my meetings with world leaders,” she said. “There are some that are in the book, and then there are some that aren’t in the book. Many of them, actually.”

OK, but did Noem explicitly tell her ghostwriter to include the story about “staring down” Kim?

“I specifically have worked on policy for over 30 years,” she offered. “Over that time, I have traveled around the world, and I have met with leaders around the world. That anecdote, I have asked them to change the content, and it will be removed.”

Complete with new teeth and a full MAGA makeover, Noem is making an overt push to be Trump’s #2. She probably thought her latest autobiography, in which she tries to appear tough and bolster her foreign policy credentials, would help her case.

Instead, it’s destroying her chances. Even Trump is apparently “disgusted” by her flippant puppy execution tale.

Doubling down, Noem insinuated Sunday that Joe Biden should follow her lead, and kill his dog as well.

“Joe Biden’s dog has attacked 24 Secret Service people. So, how many people is enough people to be attacked and dangerously hurt before you make a decision on a dog and what to do with it?,” she said.

When Brennan asked Noem whether she was saying Biden’s dog should be shot, she was far more straightforward than when she was pressed about her make believe session with Kim.

“That’s the question that the president should be held accountable to,” she replied.

While Commander still roams the White House, Noem is being held accountable for her words. She also writes vividly about putting down three horses and one goat. In fact, she boasts about shooting her baby goat from point-blank range.

In a fitting case of comeuppance, Noem’s violent words are also killing her political career. Her chances of becoming Trump’s #2 this point are as alive as her poor puppy Cricket.

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