Jesse Watters

Somebody help Jesse Watters. The man can’t stop thirsting over Donald Trump!

Just as we were starting to recover from his salivating over the 77-year-old criminal defendant’s mugshot, the obsequious Fox News anchor is once again extolling Trump’s convict lewks.

Watters mused Monday about the shredded bod that Trump could develop while incarcerated.

“Trump is going to come out with a prison body,” he said. “That’s what happens when you go to prison. You work out. That’s all there is to do.”

Watters’ twisted fantasy may become a reality if Trump violates his gag order again. Judge Juan found him in contempt Monday for violating the gag order in his hush money trial for a 10th time, and said jail time could be next.

“Going forward, this court will have to consider a jail sanction,” he said.

Merchant added the “last thing” he wants to do is incarcerate Trump, but may be left no choice. The disgraced ex-president can’t stop smearing jurors and witnesses.

Watters, meanwhile, can’t stop lusting over the obese and orange-colored septuagenarian. Make it stop!

While Trump spending time in prison may still be unlikely, his campaign is reportedly preparing for the possibility.

“Over the past couple of months, everybody has come to the realization that [it’s a possibility], and thought about what must be done,” a person close to Trump’s campaign told Semafor.

One of the big logistical issues involves how the Secret Service would be deployed. Officials from the agency, as well as officials with state and city agencies, have held meetings about the unprecedented topic, the New York Times reports. A detail of unlucky agents would work 24-hour, 7-day shifts, and rotate in and out of the facility.

But even if Trump is ordered behind bars, it’s highly unlikely he would spend any time working out. The fast food addict is notoriously opposed to exercise. A book about the twice-impeached former president, Trump Revealed, explains that he views being physically active as wasted energy:

After college, after Trump mostly gave up his personal athletic interests, he came to view time spent playing sports as time wasted. Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn’t work out. When he learned that John O’Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, “You are going to die young because of this.”

In a New York Times magazine profile, Trump indicated he thinks people who exercise are putting themselves at risk. “All my friends who work out all the time, they’re going for knee replacements, hip replacements — they’re a disaster,” he said.

Trump reiterated his exercise-phobic stance in a Reuters interview.

“A lot of people go to the gym and they’ll work out for two hours and all,” he said. “I’ve seen people … then they get their new knees when they’re 55 years old and they get their new hips and they do all those things. I don’t have those problems.”

Trump’s fitness has come into question throughout the Stormy Daniels trial, given his habit of falling asleep in court. (Of course, Trump denies he’s sleeping; but rather, says he’s closing his eyes to “listen intently.”)

On Tuesday, Trump was listening intently to Stormy Daniels, who finally took the witness stand. She described her intimate evening with Trump at length, though Judge Merchant said she didn’t need to delve into details about the intercourse itself–probably much to Watters’ chagrin.

Stormy did share some of Trump’s advances, such as when he said the ex-adult film star reminded him of his daughter…

One of Trump’s bumbling lawyers, Todd Blance, moved for a mistrial based on Daniels’ testimony. While Judge Merchant denied the request, he expressed surprise that Trump’s team didn’t object to more of her statements. “The defense has to take some responsibility,” he added.

After Trump spent the first days of his trial grumbling about a lack of support, he’s had more allies in his corner each day. Eric Trump, Alina Habba and Boris Epshteyn drew the short straws Tuesday. Reports indicate they weren’t enjoying themselves.

Maybe one of them can tag out for Watters, who would probably love to be in the same dingy courtroom as his man crush all day. There aren’t any details about Trump’s night with Stormy that he wouldn’t lap up.

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