fangirl

Jesse Watters touts “unblemished record of heterosexuality” before thirsting over Trump’s mugshot

Jesse Watters

Fox News host Jesse Watters would like everybody to know he’s definitely not gay.

He would also like to gush over Donald Trump‘s scowling mugshot.

Can’t a man have his cake and eat it too?!

On Friday, Watters was discussing Trump’s fourth arrest and first mugshot, which was released by the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office. The irritating talking head then proceeded to give the disgraced ex-president a verbal tongue bath.

“I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality. He looks good and he looks hard,” said Watters.

🤮

Over the last few days, scores of think pieces have been written about Trump’s mugshot, and how it serves as a Rorschach test of sorts. His opponents see a petulant criminal, while his cult-like supporters see a wrongly persecuted hero.

But Watters? He sees a good-looking and “hard” man… whatever that means.

In the interest of fairness, we will point out that Watters appears to be paraphrasing George Costanza, who also touts his unblemished record of heterosexuality during an episode of Seinfeld. But that doesn’t change the fact this is a very weird thing to say!

How can somebody’s face look “hard?” And do we really want to know?

Watters’ weird kink for scowling and indicted elderly men aside, it is debatable whether his “record of heterosexuality” is as pristine as he claims. After all, this is a man who once flattened a female co-worker’s tires so she would be forced to take a ride home with him.

So manly; so masculine; and not at all predatory!

We also don’t feel bad about shaming Watters, who has a gross and anti-gay track record. One of his most homophobic “bits” involved him harassing Gay Pride parade goers in San Francisco with a litany of unfunny jokes.

MAGA heads’ unfailing loyalty to Trump often veers into homoeroticism, with his followers (and doctors) cooing over his supposed toughness and masculinity.

And there’s nothing tougher than an ex-president getting arrested for his alleged attempt to overthrow an election!

The whole idea makes Watters; oh, we mean Trump’s face, hard.

Sure, Jan…

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated