Does Paul Reubens’ ‘Proof’ He Wasn’t Masturbating In Public Hold Up?
It’s been almost twenty years since Paul Reubens was arrested in an adult movie theater in Sarasota, Florida, for masturbating in public, where he pled no contest to avoid trial. And to this day, he maintains he did nothing wrong.
Johnny Cochran might’ve told a jury that “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit,” but for Pee-wee, who’s headed to Broadway this fall, a more apropos line might be, “If it’s my nondominant hand, the charges are a sham.”
Reubens, you see, is right-handed, and the police report says he was using his left hand. So it had to be wrong, he tells Playboy.
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
I’m just going to put it out there: I know from first-hand experience that’s not true.
So what he is saying then, is they “left” out some important info……… :p
My dominant hand is my right…but I wank with my left. Somebody get the Masters and Johnson Institute on the phone!
Sometimes, as with yesterday’s Morning Goods god, I’m hands-free!
Ambidextrous here – and what about those who are “fortunate” enough to grab that thang with BOTH hands and go at it?
What bullshit! I’m Right-Hand dominant and I wank with my Left Hand! I’ve met others who do the same… the Masters & Johnson Institute needs to pull their heads out of their butts!
Depends on if I’m using a mouse at the time.
I never saw what the big deal was anyway. I think you should be arrested if you’re in a porn theater and you’re *not* masturbating.
He was in a porno theater and was masturbating. Big deal. Why else would you go to a porno theater. He’s got nothing to be ashamed of.
@Stephen Murray: Do they still even have porno theaters anymore?
Same here boys. I’m right-handed but for some reason I started jacking it with my left when I was little; maybe because it felt weird in a good way? It really helps because now, I can navigate the mouse on my computer with my right hand while my left is busy. Pee Wee is full of it…
Oh Girls, it’s been close to twenty years ago-get over it and move on to the other hand. Alas, I still do the Pee Wee dance.
@Stephen Murray:
He went there for the awesome cinematography and thrilling plot lines, duh!
He really just needs to move on. These days, sex scandals are practically mandatory to be famous.
It’s not like he imprisoned a rentboy in a cupboard, so who gives a damn.
many guys use their non dominant hand when masturbating to prolong the experience. Especially when it is being done in public or on cam. And that’s a fact. I have seen it myself. I agree with James from Cambridge on this one. “Pee Wee is full of it.”
I’m right handed & wank with the left hand, —-I cant believe I just wrote that.—-
When my left arm was in a sling for 3 weeks due to elbow surgery, I was completely unable to perform the job with the right hand. I required assistance from unpaid, hired help (a.k.a my better half)
After 20 years, let it go, Pee Wee. Oops…my bad, a Freudian slip!
@Tessie Tura: well, that would be something! The definition of ‘something’ after all is: when you put one hand around it and then at the same time, put the other hand around it and there’s something left over – that’s SOMETHING
well I always used to do it with my dominant hand but then switched it out in these last few years. plus, sometimes, your dominant hand gets tired and needs a rest. you need to the help of the other hand.
@Jeffree: perform the job? lmao. you’re cute.
@scott ny’er: plus you wouldn’t want your biceps to look unbalanced.
If my career was almost ruined by an incident like that and in fact never quite recovered….I don’t think I would be stirring up that old ‘scandal’ when I had a new venture opening that was dependent on family theater goers. Is he truly stupid?
I’m turning into Dr. Ruth!
I did me some research.
Of the six standups I performed with last night, 5 are male and 3 of us wank with the non-dominant hand, one is ambidexterous & 1 uses the dominant hand. The lone woman says her BF uses non-dom hand, and she catches him doing it all the time!
I love contributing to scientific research!
Pee-Wee is full of s_it.
@EWE: thanks for the shoutout. The secret to being —and staying— adorable is to apply a thin coating of cooking spray to your mate’s eyeglasses every day ! They won’t notice & it won’t impact their ability to drive.
Huh . . . If they can’t get the evidence to stand up in court, let ‘em go . . .
It almost seems like nobody gets that Peewee was being funny. Like, a joke. Like there is no study. Of course he was masturbating. Get it? Anyone? Morons.
What bullshit! I’m Right-Hand dominant and I wank with my Left Hand! I’ve met others who do the same…
Where would you have met these others? A circle jerk perhaps?
Did they let you be the pivot man?
@Queer Supremacist: Racists like Qskinhead should not be commenting.
“Author: Queer Supremacist
Comment:
Bill Perdue: I didn’t know Nazi Quislings were a race. But just keep wishing for your anti-semitic (sic, sick) fantasies to come true, and maybe someday they’ll happen.
Jadis, ron, L. Fuck Anyone who supports Palestinazis or Muslims is a racist, a Nazi, and, if they are Jewish and/or gay, an Uncle Tom. If you are pro-KKK, you cannot claim not to be racist. If you are pro Nazi or pro-Palestinazi (same fucking difference), you cannot claim not to be anti-semitic (sic, sick). If you are pro-Christian or pro-Muslim, you cannot claim not to be homophobic.
Christianity, Islam and Heterosexuality are the real Axis of Evil. And unless you are actively working to stop the Christo-Islamic Breeder menace, you are enablers.
No. 10 • Queer Supremacist
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There are no “Palestinians”. You’re nothing but an Arabist pig defending filthy genocidal homophobic Muslim camel fuckers, while perseverating (sic) (sick) discredited Stalinist tropes like a severely autistic parrot…
Take your pro-Muslim blood libel elsewhere or I will report your IP address to the FBI for treasonous activity.
The land of Israel belongs to the Jews, including the parts illegally occupied by goyische breeder terrorists. They have more of a right to exist than the United States…
(I consider all heterosexual sex acts rape)…
The only thing keeping Obama from becoming a dictator are the constitutional separation of powers…
On the other hand, Israel’s founding, in a location where there was a Jewish state before the convicted thief Jesus and the child rapist Muhammad were even born, was to protect Jews from further hate crimes from heretic goyim (all gentile religions are heretic… Israel needs … to do whatever it takes to protect innocent people from being brutally murdered by terrorist scum who worship convicted felons like Jesus and child molesters like Muhammad.
And the first equivocation of Zionism (that’s with a capital Z, for the rest of you Pan-Arabist scum) with racism by the United Nazis, I mean the United Nations…
Uganda has no right to sovereignty. Iran has no right to sovereignty. Iraq has no right to sovereignty. Afghanistan has no right to sovereignty. Jamaica has no right to sovereignty. Saudi Arabia has no right to sovereignty. Zimbabwe has no right to sovereignty. The Vatican has no right to sovereignty…. China has no right to sovereignty…
If the majority of the gays turn against Jews I will become celibate and actively homophobic.
2 for 10 against ” Posted: Jul 30, 2010 at 12:49 pm • @Reply • [Flag?]
To which other people replied: ”
No. 11 • Bill Perdue
@Queer Supremacist: Who let you out of your sty, racist.
8 for 0 against
Posted: Jul 30, 2010 at 4:15 pm • @Reply • [Flag?]
No. 12 • Jadis
@Queer Supremacist: You are everything that’s wrong with the world.
6 for 0 against
Posted: Jul 31, 2010 at 10:37 am • @Reply • [Flag?]
No. 13 • ron
@Queer Supremacist: Holy shit! You must be as exhausted from that tirade as I am from reading it! You, sir, are full of shit……
6 for 1 against
Posted: Jul 31, 2010 at 10:46 am • @Reply • [Flag?]
No. 14 • L.
@Queer Supremacist: You’re not getting paid by the word, I hope.
3 for 1 against
Posted: Jul 31, 2010 at 6:35 pm • @Reply • [Flag?]
No. 15 • Queer Supremacist
By the way, your ad hominem attacks have done nothing to disprove everything I said.
Yes, I am a proud bigot. I am bigoted against the enemies of the Jews. I am bigoted against the enemies of the gay community. I am bigoted against people who hate me and want me dead for a “being crime.” I am bigoted against land robbers and genocidal maniacs. I am bigoted against people who worship thieves and child molesters.
Queerty is the Gay Stormfront. Heil Hitler and Heil Muhammad.
0 for 5 against”
In all of history, has a STRAIGHT man ever been arrested for masturbating in a porn palace???
This American Puritanism is absurd.
Cochran is much better at English rhyming verse than Queerty.