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PHOTO: Dad Who Overhears Son Talking About Coming Out Writes Him Sweetest Note Ever

mike

In a note reprinted by the anti-homophobia group FCKH8.com, a father saves his nervous son the trouble of coming out—by casually leaving him a note explaining how he knows the score already:

Nate,

I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is bring home OJ and bread after class.

We are out, like you now.

I’ve known you were gay since you were six—I’ve loved you since you were born

-Dad

PS: Your mother and I think you and Mike make a cute couple

That dad better get the nicest Father’s Day present in all of time and space.

Source: FCKH8.com

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Mar 15, 2013
Tagged: , , ,

  • 28 Comments
    • yaoming
      yaoming

      I was happy to see that the handwritten note was more literate than the typed transcript.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 6:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      That is so sweet.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 7:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ted72
      ted72

      Those parents ROCK! There is hope for the human kind.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 7:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdWoody
      EdWoody

      @yaoming: Seriously. It’s right there on the screen, and they still manage to get it wrong.

      On a positive note, it is a gorgeous story.

      It’s the world-weary cynic in me that can’t dismiss the possibility it’s fake though – perhaps written by somebody at FCKH8 so that they could use it to make a point. But wherever it came from doesn’t really matter in the long-run. It doesn’t matter if there’s a real Nate and Mike or not. What matters is the message that parents should love their children no matter what.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 7:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwrappaport
      jwrappaport

      @EdWoody: Even with the typos, it warmed the cockles of this stone-hearted grammar Nazi.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 8:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      These are the stories that warm my heart! Now THIS is what “family” is all about! The haters must really have their Depends in a knot over this heart-warming story! We celebrate, they mourn. Life IS good!
      Dakotahgeo, M.Div. Pastor/Chaplain

      Mar 15, 2013 at 8:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sfbeast
      sfbeast

      ok I admit it, I got teary eyed. I hope it is real because that kind of message is really needed these days.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 9:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gppm1103
      gppm1103

      Dan Avery…get a spell checker. DAD and DAN is not the same.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 9:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Merv
      Merv

      Nice story, but it stretches credulity by being just a little bit too perfect.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 10:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NateB79
      NateB79

      Holy spell check Batman.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 10:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      In spite of the constant hate and intolerance projected by republicans and christian extremist, there is hope for this species.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 11:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kurt_t
      kurt_t

      OK, am I the only one wondering what happened when Nate was six?

      Mar 15, 2013 at 1:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Iceanne
      Iceanne

      @kurt_t:

      Maybe one can wonder, but i also was convinced that my son was gay since he was a 7-year old boy and it started even earlier: only playing with dolls, a kitchen, taking care of -both real and toy- animals and cuddly bears, experimenting with clothes and make-up, oversensitive and very polite, … and absolutely no interest in any sports or cars. So a completely different boy than his classmates. There’s nothing wrong with “thinking that your child is homosexual”, so many other parents assume there child is heterosexual…what’s the difference? To me there was no coming out; he just presented his boyfriend and of course he was nervous, just like every child is when he or she presents his boy-or girlfriend to his parents…but that was it and i feel that’s the way it should be.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cee
      Cee

      @EdWoody: I absolutely think it’s fake. Don’t worry. You’re not alone. The note sounds very contrived. Oh, and the “OJ and bread” part. What is this, Leave It To Beaver?

      Mar 15, 2013 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MickeyP.
      MickeyP.

      Whether it’s real or not (I’m not that cynical) I think it’s a very nice touch to all the BS we put up with.Some people bitch about everything…damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I’m just happy that it IS…that’s all.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @Cee: my Mom asked me to bing home coffee grounds when I came out to her over the phone.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chad Hunt
      Chad Hunt

      and the award for, Father Of The Year, goes to …

      Mar 15, 2013 at 4:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      This poor poor kid…..

      No matter how bad a mood he is in, no matter how badly he gets grounded or punished, he will NEVER be able to bitch about his father without his friends all jumping on him for it. LOL!!!

      Mar 15, 2013 at 4:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MuscleModelBlog.com
      MuscleModelBlog.com

      Great story! Unfortunately, this is not how it goes for all sons…

      Mar 15, 2013 at 5:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      Parents like this exist.

      I’ve told the story on this board of how my parents adopted me as an infant dispite an unsightly rash which caused many other couples to turn me down. My parents were warm and supportive and loving throughout my childhood. I loved them with all my heart and my bigest fear was that I woould ever do something that would cause them to be disappointed in me.

      But when I became aware that I was homosexual at the age of 12 and started to experience school yard bullying for it, I began trying to kill myself. It was 1969 and homosexuality was both a mental illness and a crime. I could not face the possibility that they would ever find out my horrible secret, the reason I was involved in so many fights. I made 5 attempts at suicide between the ages of 12 and 16 when they again hospitalized me. This time I was given a psychiatrist that I trusted with my secret and he urged me, over a period of many weeks in the ward, to reveal my secret to my parents.

      Finally during a family counselling session in which I was shaking so bacly I could barely speak, I finally told my mother and father that I was a homosexual and waited for their rejecton.

      My father’s shoulders slumped with a sigh, and he got up and crossed the room to where I sat. Although he had never hit me in anger (some spankings as a child that I richly deserved, but no beatings) I thought he was going to clock me one.

      Instead he got down on one knee and took my trembling hands in his and told me to look him in they eye. He said, “If this is why you have been hurting yourself and us, you must stop it right now. There are lots of people in the world like you. Your mother and I just want you to be happy, it’s all we have ever wanted for you. One day you will find someone and fall in love, and we will come to love him too, and all of this will be behind us. Until then, never doubt our love. NEVER, do you hear me?”

      In his eyes there was a look I first mistook for fear, but came to realize was imploring me to believe him.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 6:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      Parents like this exist.

      I’ve told the story on this board of how my parents adopted me as an infant dispite an unsightly rash which caused many other couples to turn me down. My parents were warm and supportive and loving throughout my childhood. I loved them with all my heart and my bigest fear was that I woould ever do something that would cause them to be disappointed in me.

      But when I became aware that I was homosexual at the age of 12 and started to experience school yard bullying for it, I began trying to kill myself. It was 1969 and homosexuality was both a mental illness and a crime. I could not face the possibility that they would ever find out my horrible secret, the reason I was involved in so many fights. I made 5 attempts at suicide between the ages of 12 and 16 when they again hospitalized me. This time I was given a psychiatrist that I trusted with my secret and he urged me, over a period of many weeks in the ward, to reveal my secret to my parents.

      Finally during a family counselling session in which I was shaking so bacly I could barely speak, I finally told my mother and father that I was a homosexual and waited for their rejecton.

      My father’s shoulders slumped with a sigh, and he got up and crossed the room to where I sat. Although he had never hit me in anger (some spankings as a child that I richly deserved, but no beatings) I thought he was going to clock me one.

      Instead he got down on one knee and took my trembling hands in his and told me to look him in the eye. He said, “If this is why you have been hurting yourself and us, you must stop it right now. There are lots of people in the world like you. Your mother and I just want you to be happy, it’s all we have ever wanted for you. One day you will find someone and fall in love, and we will come to love him too, and all of this will be behind us. Until then, never doubt our love. NEVER, do you hear me?”

      In his eyes there was a look I first mistook for fear, but came to realize was imploring me to believe him.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 6:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      sorry for the double post

      Mar 15, 2013 at 6:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1EqualityUSA
      1EqualityUSA

      jackpapa, beautiful story.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 6:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries
      dvlaries

      Change for the better doesn’t get much better than this.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 9:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Snickers
      Snickers

      @Cee: Sad the amount of cynicism in some of these posts. There are parents who DO love their gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender children. PFLAG has been around many years!!!! There are plenty of photos (lots old black & white ones) of parents marching in gay pride parades with their gay/lesbian kids. I came out to my parents THIRTY years ago. They weren’t happy about it but accepted it. (Actually it probably wasn’t a total surprise—-I think they had for years suspected my older brother. Sigh. Poor bastard, just turned 60 and still single and buried DEEP in the closet.) Granted some things never change – – – my mother never gave up hope, gay or straight, that I’d find myself a nice Jewish doctor or lawyer. Oh well.

      Mar 15, 2013 at 10:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cee
      Cee

      It’s great that you’re all touched by the note, but I don’t see any parents of gay kids commenting on here and that’s who the letter needs to touch.

      When I start seeing parents of gay teens saying they wrote their kid a letter after reading this article then I’ll be touched.

      Mar 16, 2013 at 5:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • catsura
      catsura

      All you posters who think the note is a fake, must be because your coming out wasn’t as pretty. My coming out to my divorced parents was quite the same. When I got trashed so I had the balls to come out to my mother, she told me that she had known about me being gay since I was 11. And when I came out to my father ,I was living with my boyfriend and my father wanted to come visit us in our apartment. I said that it was fine as long as he didn’t mind the company. He reply was ” Oh that you and Steve are a couple?”

      Yes, there are wonderful parents out there. 75% of my friends had a good coming out to their parents.

      Mar 17, 2013 at 11:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveSE
      SteveSE

      I tend to gloss over my own coming out as it seems like a distant memory but I can remember being so frustrated at how much of a non-event it was for my parents.

      Having spent literally years building up the courage to reveal news I felt sure would leave them disappointed and devastated, I think I was left more disappointed than them.

      On hearing the news my mum informed me, “we’ve always know”, and when asked why they hadn’t thought to mention it, I was told, “we didn’t think it mattered, it doesn’t make any difference to us”.

      I remember being a bit annoyed that it this point that my coming out was an enormous milestone in my life and yet it clearly wasn’t going to be the front page news I had expected.

      My father chipped in at some point with the words, “you are what we made you son”.

      I, like the guy in the article, could not have wished for more understanding parents.

      Mar 18, 2013 at 12:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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