The humble hot dog. Imported from Germany in the 19th century, this meat creation was known variously as “frankfurter” and “wiener” (in reference to Vienna, Austria) before immigrant Charles Feltman began selling them in rolls on Coney Island around 1870. The name “hot dog” may or may not have been shorthand for another vendor’s “dachsund sandwich.” And the American wiener dog was born! Following, some fun ways to celebrate your hot dog, like we celebrate our country’s founding: with pride, and relish.
1. Take it to a “hotdog party”
According to Urban Dictionary, a hotdog [sic] party is similar to a sausagefest, more specifically:
1.) A party that is mainly comprised of dudes.
2.) Any gay party.
3.) Used to describe any group of men which is lacking woman.
4.) Whenever there are too many dicks on the dancefloor.
Define “too many.”
2. Put it in a special bun that looks like a dog with olives for eyes and a nose and then eat it
3. Take it to the National Mustard Museum
They’re having a topping contest next month at this museum in Middletown, Wisconsin, so plenty of time to come up with fun ingredients to slather it with.
4. Eat it like you’re in China
According to experts, there aren’t a lot of “normal” hot dogs in China, meaning big, juicy American-style sausages. Instead, you’ll more likely find a swollen big bun with a small Chinese weiner inside. Seriously, that’s what they say.
Then the Orange Dog opened in the basement of Jiu Guang City Plaza, a big newish mall on Nanjing Xilu next to Jing’an Temple, you know the one, in downtown Shanghai, and everyone in China looking for a “normal” hot dog was happy. They got the Chicago Bull, the Texas Ranch Smokey, the Mexican Fire Breather and the Orange Dog Classic. Even a “French Style” tuna sandwich. Phew! I’m less worried about this whole hacking thing now.
5. Eat it like you’re in Korea
Somebody had to do it, like an American, dag nabit! But the Koreans beat us to it: the deep-fried French fry-wrapped hot dog. Shoot, that looks good! Marcus Bachman should have been swallowing one of these at the Minnesota State Fair years ago. Apparently American troops in South Korea introduced the ingredients and then the home team cleverly came up with this hybrid. Kim Jung Un doesn’t stand a chance.
6. Eat it like Kobayashi
Six-time Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest champion Takeru Kobayashi proves with his abs that competitive eating is indeed a sport.
7. Shoot It, Before It Shoots You
Photographer Alan Sailer likes to shoot food and other stuff with a rifle and a high-speed camera in his garage. Everyone’s got their thing. Here he’s blowing through some wieners.
8. Knit it a sweater
9. Pretend it’s an octopus
There’s a video for everything on the Internet, including how to kill an afternoon making sea creatures out of processed foods. The head is my favorite.
10. Pretend it’s a hamburger
And there’s your beef injection.
Eat it in a speedo…
…at your hotdog party.