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PHOTOS: These Hilarious Gay Pulp Fiction Covers Really Knew How To Tell A Story

gay-pulp-fiction-covers

I dunno about you, but when I think of gay pulp fiction, John Travolta in a bolo tie and ponytail doing The Twist with a coked-up Uma Thurman immediately comes to mind. But let’s take a moment to remember yesterqueer and the exploitative “literature” of the ’50s, ’60s and early ’70s detailing the seedy underbelly of homosexual life. They were the literary version of Bravo: cheap, trashy entertainment exclusively for gay men and bored housewives. And their covers were sometimes more entertaining than their plots. In the spirit of reading being fundamental and a picture being worth a thousand words, here are a few salacious covers from the golden age of pulp fiction along with what I can best glean are their plotlines.

homosexual-trainPlot?: Sorta like Murder on the Orient Express, but instead of the Orient Express, it’s the Homosexual Train. And instead of murder, it’s a bunch of dudes having sex.

naive-homosexualPlot?: Jimmy, a young, innocent, naive but eager bottom from Square State, USA comes to the Big City in search of love. Becomes a whore.

blow-the-man-down

Plot?: Intrepid seamen venture to the Lost City of Atlantis, which turns out to be an underwater, underwear-only homosexual colony. Will the boys escape with their lives and shorts in tact?gay-bunchPlot?: A highly skilled group of gay jewel thieves pulls off one last heist: Elizabeth Taylor’s  white diamonds. But will they bring them any luck?

gay-whorePlot?: The novel that finally answers the question: can you turn a rent boy into a house-husband? Spoiler alert: no.

three-on-a-broomstickPlot?: A trio of witches tries desperately to kill Jessica Lange while evading an ageless and stunning Angela Bassett. Alternate title: The Witches of Eastdick.

in-dragPlot?: Up-and-coming legendary child Marsha Xtravaganza prepares to walk in her first ball. But when one of her sisters gags in jealousy from Marsha’s flawless face, she’s forced to find a new house.

queens-in-dragPlot?: Drag superstar Veronica Cake has to deal with a young rival, whom she later dispatches with a stiletto to the back of the head. But the show must go on, even as Veronica’s victim comes back to haunt her.

killer-queensPlot?: A favorite of a young Freddie Mercury, two soldiers go AWOL on each other during a murderous sexcscapade through the jungles of the Philippines.

a-masculine-scent

Plot?: Noted nose Kevin Scent is in search of notes for his new hit cologne, when he falls for a twink with a heart as golden as his curly locks. But something smells fishy in their budding relationship.

bottoms-up

Plot?: Tommy Bottoms, the hapless owner of the homosexual hotspot, Bottoms, must fight to save his bar from a gang of ruthless leather daddies. His only weapon: an ass that won’t quit.

devil-is-gay

Plot?: A retelling of The Devil and Daniel Webster, only this time, the Devil’s not taking currency in the form of souls.

hot-pants-homo

Plot?: Lusty musician Brando “Sax” Saxon is jazzing all over town with an endless parade of women until he’s tromboned by a new addition to the band.

gay-paragon

Plot?: From the outside, Greg seems like your average Adonis — with his rippling muscles, lantern jaw and dimpled chin — but little do his many admirers know that he moonlights on the weekend as ribald drag queen, Rosemary Thyme.

chamber-of-homos

Plot?: The gay guests of a deranged millionaire become his pawns in a deadly game of cat and mouse, which quickly gets pushed aside for a no holds barred sextravaganza.

male-bride

Plot?: Guess who’s coming to dinner? A family is nearly torn apart when their eldest son returns home for Thanksgiving with a man on his arm and a chip on his shoulder.

the-reamers

Plot?: Pastor Luke runs a camp for troubled boys out of the local church, but when a rebel with a cause challenges his authority, he has to show him who’s boss.

fag-chaser

Plot?: Answering yet another question for the ages. Spoiler alert: it takes three hours and a five cocktails.

chocolate-speedwayPlot?: Drag queen drag racers compete in a deadly road race each night through Castro Street for fame, fortune and Ferragamo.

This post has been brought to you by:

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Photos: Callum James |Tumblr| Gay on the Range

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Dec 14, 2013
Tagged: , , , , , , ,

  • 16 Comments
    • TheNewEnergyDude
      TheNewEnergyDude

      “The Chocolate Speedway”? “The Reamers”??? HAHAHAHA. I actually Googled a couple of these just to see if you weren’t pulling my leg.

      Hilarious! Love the little logo at the top right of the French Line collection.

      I think I actually want to pick up a few of these just for the comical value of how they must read nowadays.

      Dec 14, 2013 at 11:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      Great stuff, super high camp…Where can I find them..?

      Dec 14, 2013 at 3:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      I don’t know how often Mr Brathwaite makes this same mistake, but..

      “INTACT”. It’s one single word. It’s not “in tact”.

      Sometimes your grammatical skills are frankly embarrassing.

      Dec 14, 2013 at 5:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tyler100
      Tyler100

      The Devil is Gay should be the title of JimBryant’s biography.

      Dec 14, 2013 at 6:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @MikeE: Hey sweet pea. Don’t you ever make mistakes when you are typing..? I mess stuff up all the time and don’t always catch every error… Maybe Les will make you his secatary :-)

      Dec 14, 2013 at 6:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AuntieChrist
      AuntieChrist

      @Tyler100: Jesus is gay so I bet the Devil is way sexier…Clever remark BTW…oooxxx

      Dec 14, 2013 at 6:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SpunkyBunks
      SpunkyBunks

      TV sucks these days. These would make great TV movies of the week to watch with your drinking buddies. You hear me Lifetime?!

      Dec 14, 2013 at 7:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hudson
      hudson

      @AuntieChrist: lol. the grammar nazis on here are a bit much some days. i needs me a secatary too.

      Dec 14, 2013 at 9:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Gervais
      David Gervais

      I recently read “The Golden Age of Gay Fiction”, Dewey Wayne Gunn, Ed., MLRPress, 2009, ISBN 978-1-60820-048-1

      It’s a series of essays about the history of the genre. The book is valuable for its information about the business, the authors and the changes in censorship law.

      Unfortunately, the cover reproductions are small, so my recommendation is to read it for the history.

      There are other books that focus on the covers, however I don’t have the info handy. Anyone out there who can recommend other resources?

      Dec 14, 2013 at 9:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DerekR
      DerekR

      @MikeE: Embarrassing to whom? You? Get over yourself just a tad, makes you seem like a real c*nt.

      Dec 14, 2013 at 10:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rbettenc
      rbettenc

      “Blow the Man Down”…perhaps I steal that for my next book! These are great.

      Dec 15, 2013 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tom-ba
      tom-ba

      @MikeE: in tact– I thought it was word-play.

      tact

      adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.

      Dec 15, 2013 at 11:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tom-ba
      tom-ba

      The “Bottoms Up” title is actually available on eBay. You can press the Buy It Now button. Buttons for Bottoms.

      Won’t be cheap, though. $125.

      Original cost, probably around $1.95. Not a bad investment, as it turns out.*

      http://www.ebay.com/itm/BOTTOMS-UP-Unique-Books-1966-Gay-Male-Gene-BILBREW-Cover-RARE-RECENT-Arrival/310810590137

      ——-
      * Probably would shock the artist, writer, and publisher, if they’re still alive, all who’d wish they could get that kind of money for their books now.

      Dec 15, 2013 at 1:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tom-ba
      tom-ba

      @David Gervais: There are some additional images here, as well as a little commentary on publisher French Line.

      http://dangerousminds.net/comments/gay_pulp_paperbacks_of_the_early_1970s

      I hadn’t noticed that The House of Homos was written by ‘Guy Fawkes’.

      Dec 15, 2013 at 1:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • erichendricks
      erichendricks

      Josephine explained I am dazzled that you can get paid $7107 in four weeks on the internet. check this link right here now>>> http://bit.do/fk7U

      Dec 15, 2013 at 2:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • krystalkleer
      krystalkleer

      when is John Waters gonna turn some one these books into musical motion picture is what i wanna know? THE REAMERS? THE CHOCOLATE SPEEDWAY?…come on…they’re SCREAM’N to be made!! someone kickstart em pronto!
      http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/ho-ho-hold-up-minute.html

      Dec 16, 2013 at 1:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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