Sandra Bernhard and Andy Cohen recently sat down to critique Madonna’s latest music video “Ghosttown” on Watch What Happens Live.
Of course, anyone who knows anything is aware that, once upon a time, Madge and Sandy were thick as thieves. Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s, the pair were often spotted running around New York City together, making joint appearances on The David Letterman Show, and, at one point, even rumored to be lesbian lovers.
“She came to my show in 1988, came backstage, and then we started hanging out,” Bernhard told Wendy Williams back in 2010. “We would go out, we would have a genuinely great time, and I think we were a really good example of two women being friends.”
Then one day, that all abruptly ended.
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“I like to maintain my friendships,” Bernhard said. “But, you know, certain people can’t handle those kinds of friendships.”
Of course, Sandra Bernhard isn’t the only close confidant Madonna has dropped for seemingly no apparent reason. The rebel heart has a long history of ditching her pals.
Scroll down for some of Madonna’s most high profile BFF breakups…
Gwyneth Paltrow
There was a period in the mid-2000’s when Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow were practically joined at the hip. Both were blonde American women living in the U.K. who possessed an air of cultural superiority sophistication. They could frequently be seen gossiping over lunch, working out together, or attending fashion shows, where they snickered at the models from the front row. Then something happened. And now they hate each other.
Rumor has it the falling out occurred when Madonna fired their shared personal trainer, Tracy Anderson, then told Gwyneth she should, too. When Gwyneth refused, Madonna terminated their friendship contract. In 2011, Paltrow alluded to the feud on her blog Goop when she wrote about an “insufferable” friend who left her feeling “drained, empty and belittled.”
The moral of the story: Nobody belittles Gwyneth Paltrow. And absolutely nobody crosses Madonna!
Niki Haris
Niki Haris sang backup for Madge from 1987 to 2001, appearing in the Who’s That Girl Tour in 1987, Blond Ambition Tour in 1990, The Girlie Show Tour in 1993, and The Drowned World Tour in 2001, as well as in the documentary Truth or Dare, and music videos “Vogue” and “Music.” Then in 2004, she was inexplicably replaced in Madonna’s Re-Invention Tour.
At the time, Haris’s publicist claimed the backup singer had chosen to sit out the tour because she wanted to “focus on her solo career and family,” but insiders said she wasn’t asked to participate after allegedly making off-handed comments about Madge to the press.
In 2009, Haris kinda sorta opened up about what happened, telling an interviewer that “maybe there was some drama” but that ultimately Madonna is “a gem” and she was grateful for having worked with her. “Of course, my ego was involved: ‘Oh, she don’t want me no more!’ But at the end of the day, she gave me the greatest gift,” Haris said.
Unfortunately, these kind words about her former boss still didn’t land her a spot in the 2012 MDNA Tour.
The moral of the story: Once you cross over to the bad side of Madge, there’s no going back.
Christopher Ciccione
In 2008, Madonna’s younger brother Christopher published a tell-all book called Life With My Sister Madonna. Naturally, the “Keep It Together” songwriter wasn’t pleased.
The gloves came off as Christopher, who had worked with Madonna in a variety of capacities over the course of two decades — from backup dancer, to personal assistant, to interior designer — dished about his complex relationship with his famous sister, her career failures, her marriages, and her lack of boundaries when it came to making money, going so far as to accuse her of exploiting their mother’s death in the documentary Truth or Dare.
The book, which reached #2 on the New York Times Bestseller List, was packed with jabs at Madonna’s age, negative personality traits, parenting skills, and inability to truly love. As a result, the singer didn’t speak to her brother for several years. When asked about the book in an interview recently, she it was “very hurtful” but said she and her brother have since made up.
The moral of the story: Madonna’s not the only member of the Ciccone clan who will do anything for a buck.
Donna De Lory
Donna De Lory was Madge’s other longtime backup singer, who, like Niki Haris, began working with her in 1987 and appeared in every one of her world tours, as well as several of her music videos, up until 2007. De Lory loyally stood alongside Madonna as she went from pop starlet to music icon to mother to Kabbalist. And that’s when things seemed to go awry for the duo.
“Kabbalah, all of a sudden, was mandatory,” De Lory recalled in a 2013 interview. “I thought it couldn’t hurt, but it wasn’t my belief system per se. However, two times the teacher tied on the red-string, and two times I watched it untie and come off me. They tie these things and knot them and they aren’t supposed to come off for a long time. After it came off two times on its own, I figured that I didn’t need that to protect me.”
Coincidentally, after De Lory decided Kabbalah wasn’t for her, she wasn’t asked back for Lady M’s 2008 Sticky & Sweet Tour.
“Even though she is very wealthy and very famous,” De Lory said, “Madonna is still human and, like all of us, she is trying to figure it all out.”
The moral of the story: Wear the fucking red bracelet!
Demi Moore
Just like Gwyneth, there was a time when Madonna and Demi Moore were BFFs. When they were younger they’d go nightclubbing together. As they got older they’d go to Kabbalah class together. The women had plenty in common. They both rich. They were both famous. And they both had a taste for younger fellas. But when Demi’s relationship with her younger beau Ashton Kutcher ended, so did her friendship with Madge.
The story goes: Around the time of Ashton and Demi’s split, Ashton signed with Madonna’s long-time manager Guy Oseary. When forced to choose between her relationship with Demi or her business partnership with Guy, Madonna went where the money was and dropped Demi from her Christmas card list.
Talk about getting the shit end of the stick. Poor Demi lost her boyfriend and her best friend all in one fell swoop.
The moral of the story: Money can’t buy you class.
Liz Smith
So what’s with Madonna ditching all her best buddies anyway? We think iconic celebrity columnist Liz Smith explains it best. In a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the 92-year-old veteran reporter opened up about her friendship with Madonna, saying: “She’s an extremely talented, deeply complicated woman. We were close for a while, or as close as anyone can get to her.”
Related stories:
Madonna Makes Her Stand-Up Comedy Debut, But We Laughed More At Her New Song
Madonna Likens Ageism To Homophobia, Has A Message For The Haters
archiesdaddy
Madge is an old-trooper style home-wrecker. She has had sooo much practice at getting hot dick that belongs to someone else that, if all else failed, she could set up a high end academy for the up-and-coming generation of sluts who have followed her example over the years. Does anyone remember how she wrecked Antonio Banderas’s first marriage…having had a ring-side seat for that one, she has not disappointed me since. Ho ho ho used to be words synonymous with Santa Claus….now it is hoe, hoe, hoe as in Madge and Harlot
Evji108
When you’re on top It’s easy to ditch your friends when they do something that doesn’t please you, because you can always find others that will willingly take their places. Now that she is aging and so is her career, good friends will become scarcer. Maybe now she doesn’t care, but when her kids get into careers and marriage and they all take off on their own and her final tour has limped to a finish, she’s going to be doing a lot of TV watching alone in darkened rooms, sitting by the phone, in one of her big houses a la Norma Desmond.
da90027
Never was a huge fan but ive listened to stories like this for almost 30 years I guess like Michael Jackson no one around you says no and if someone with the balls and common sense does you are tossed out like garbage.
bottom250
This has me in tears you Queerty you are Madonna haters. Leave Madonna alone.
Desert Boy
Enough of the Madonna threads. She ain’t all that, Queerty.
ScottOnEarth
Madonna is one celeb I have never had an interest in meeting. My guess – and this article covers it pretty well – is that she is an absolute nightmare of selfishness, immaturity and intolerance. And who gives a shit about being her friend? So she’s rich and famous? That doesn’t make her a decent person or a good friend. I think she’s a psychological mess of insecurity.
Uppity
It was never going to work with either Demi Moore or Gwyneth Paltrow because they’re both attractive and famous, and ultimately competitiveness would creep in. The two back-up singers got dumped because they got old, pure and simple. Madonna only puts young faces and bodies on stage, despite her protestations about ageism. Her brother Christopher did what a good gay brother should; fearlessly dissecting all her shortcomings in the hope it would bring her to her senses. It didn’t work, but his book is the most extraordinarily revealing work about her, telling you everything you’d ever want to know. Liz Smith nails it; nobody can really get close to her. Maybe it’s different with her children. But her mother died at six, she was never really touched after that and there was a yawning void that she tried to fill. It made her the star she is, but it goes to show that one’s issues can remain entrenched, no matter how much money and therapy one has later in life.
Bob LaBlah
@ScottOnEarth: You hit the nail on the head in your assessment of her, in my opinion. I love her music but, like you said, girl has too many problems to be liked beyond the stage for me. It seems like only yesterday when her and every gay mans favorite, frustrated lesbian, Rosie Odonell, were literally getting wet while conspiring and leaking to the tabloids their plot to drive Oprah insane. Madonna acted like such an ass when she appeared on Oprah that at the end of the show, on camera, Oprah had tears in her eyes. I have hated Rosie ever since as to her snickering about it behind the scenes and began to see this media whore (Madonna) for what she really is.
jckfmsincty
She’s a marginal talent, at best.
bottom250
Queerty please do more stories on the fabulous Madonna.
Wooly
someone said it best, once the kids leave home, she’ll be all alone. I always wondered if this woman after hitting it big ever truly enjoyed life. I’m sure she’s not as shallow as this article makes her out to be but yeah, another ten years and she’ll be wondering where the time went. As for her riches, the kids will have fun spending it as none of them will ever probably work a day in their life. I can see all her kids though trying to get into show business and expecting to be superstars overnight just because mommy was. Yeah Norma Desmen all the way.
blackberry finn
This is how all narcissism works.
jason smeds
Is there anybody whom Madonna didn’t exploit on her way to the top?
She managed to convince the gay male community that she was on their side but her stage and video routines were essentially designed to prop up the sexual fantasies of straight guys – eg fake lesbianism etc.
Has everybody forgotten, for instance, that she kissed Britney Spears in a tawdry display of fake lesbianism at the MTV music awards in the early 2000’s?
seaguy
The only thing I learned from this article is that it is trash based on third person gossip, tabloid speculation and rumors, and does not have what happened from Madonna herself.
People change and friendships grow apart that is a normal part of life and it is probably even harder to maintain close ties with friends forever when you’re a celebrity living in different places, touring, etc.
seaguy
@jckfmsincty: She is the top selling female recording artist of all time. I guess Marginal must be pretty good for Madonna.
seaguy
@Desert Boy: Neither are you honey.
seaguy
@ScottOnEarth: Well I doubt she has any interest in meeting you either, but I doubt she would form an opinion of you based on gossip, lies.
ScottOnEarth
@seaguy: LOL. Are you seriously taking up for Madonna and throwing around dime-store insults at people who express their opinions? Hello, bitchy stereotype.
Desert Boy
@seaguy: Ouch. The fangirls are circling the wagons!
Cam
@bottom250:
Is this posting really had you in tears, then you might want to talk to somebody. I’m not being sarcastic. If you are serious, and an article that is somewhat unflatterimg about a singer that you don’t know really got you that upset….well you might need a hobby.
Realitycheck
I don’t see anything weird in that article, it is called having a life,
friends and coworkers come and go, her brother wanted to make
some money.
I like the entertainer Madonna, her private life is her own, and smart
people do not believe what they read in tabloids.
There are also many positive things like her fight in Africa and with AIDS
and the fact that she is mother, and has adopted, a bad person doesn’t
do much if any of that…
bottom250
@Cam: Honey, I hate how everyone is being mean to me. Sorry sweetheart if my sensitive heart troubles you. I am a huge Madonna fan.
jason smeds
Give it a break, Madonna fans. Your idol is an attention-seeker. She has no talent, period.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: But you’re all over every Madonna thread. It’s like you’re obsessed.
ScottOnEarth
Great article. I’ve always wondered what happened to M’s high-profile friendships. I love the moral of each story, especially keep the fucking red string on! :-). The real moral of each of these stories is that Madonna is likely a nightmare in real life: completely self-obsessedself-centered and will not accept anyone else’s feelings, thoughts or input unless it makes her richer. It’s gotta be all about here 24/7. As someone else mentioned, Madonna is the one celebrity I’ve had not interest in meeting, knowing or seeing in public. The sad fact is she’ll never have a truly loving relationship, considering she can’t maintain any friendships or romances for a period of time. This woman who is supposedly “living for love” will never have true love because she’s too shallow and fucked-up to be truly loving.
batesnight
The one big thing many on this board and those affiliated with this article fail to realize is that Madonna has always been like this. It has nothing to do with beauty, age or fame. How she is now is exactly how she was at fifteen. She was always fearless, over confident and ego maniac. But she’s extremely shrewd, hardworking and gifted. Even without the fame and the billion dollars, her personality was always like this. She’s always been a bit of a bitch and difficult. That’s not news. And she could careless what anyone thinks. If she did she wouldn’t have lasted as long as she has in the entertainment world.