In Style magazine takes us into star closets in their latest issue. Inside the palatial walk-ins, it’s an age-old contradiction: such full wardrobes and such empty people.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler laughs that, until she paid to have her closet organized, she would often come across clothes she forgot she had. “With the tags still on them!” she howls.

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We forgot about or repressed all memory of this overtly offensive Super Bowl commercial. Thankfully Mollygood's Cord Jefferson reminded us that Asian racism still exists!

Lance Bass loving Intern Mollygood's Whitney thinks we Queertians pick on her. And we do - with love, of course.

Remember when we turned Mollygood editor Cord Jefferson into Princess Cordless?

Well, now that fucker's living it up like a queen in Vegas for the Palazzo's opening weekend. We celebrated the weekend with the opening of the latest go-go boy. Sigh…

We know you theater fags are mourning Rent's incomprehensible closing, but we've got some news that may make your day. Rosie O'Donnell will pen and perform an autobiographical solo show! Hoo-blah!

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Our celeb-obsessed cousin Mollygood loves Venn Diagrams. Like, really, really loves them. It's a bit disturbing and may lead to permanent brain damage, but does provide endless hours of entertainment.

Here's editor Cord Jefferson's Venn-centric take on Jamie Lynn Spears' forthcoming bastard child.

"I was wearing a cowboy shirt in the right place at the right time," says Mollygood editor Cord "This Guy" Jefferson of his Men's Vogue shout out. We think Amanda Brooks called him out because he's such a sexy man (this picture doesn't do him justice). We also think he'd make a beautiful woman. That's why we've enlisted some fabulous help and will be turning him into a lady for a forthcoming installment of The New Issue.

Keep those peepers peeled, readers!

Sorry if we're a little slow on the upswing with this one, but our homeboy Cord over at Mollygood made us watch this Skittles commercial. We can't force you to watch it, but we think you should. No, really, you should.

Matt Damon turns to GQ's glossy pages to promote The Bourne Ultimatum, the latest installment in his surprisingly entertaining spy franchise.

We haven't had a chance to read the article as of yet - and, quite frankly, we're not sure we will - but our pal Mollygood passed along these shots of Damon passing around a football. And now we're passing them on to you.

Dear God,
It's us, Queerty. We know it's been a while since we last wrote you fan mail, but we're really desperate this time. Our cousin Mollygood passed along this horrific picture (right) of once-strapping Patrick Swayze.

Please, god, please don't let us age in such an ungodly, astonishingly iconoclastic manner. If you grant our wish, we promise to dedicate the rest of our lives to the divine mission of spreading heavenly beauty.

This note's time sensitive, so step on it!

May you bless yourself,
Queerty

Our celebrity loving cousin Mollygood took some time away from Britney, Lindsay and the rest to feature this Oregonian guppie.

Now, we're taking some time away from the gays, dykes and the rest to feature the same Oregonian guppie. Why? Because he's the coolest fucking kid in the world. Or an actual zombie. We can't tell.

It gets more and more difficult to find videos to entertain you, our darling readers. We were debating what to post this wonderful Friday afternoon and, thinking out loud, suggested Madison Avenue.

Well, the Jossip office went wild! People were dancing, clapping and singing - even Cord Jefferson, the straight editor from Mollygood. Apparently he just loves the Australian pop duo, Andy Van Dorsselaer and Cheyne Coates, who brought us the dance classic, "Don't Call Me Baby". But, then again, who doesn't love this shit? It's fantastically silly - just like us, you and, apparently, our coworkers. Who knew?

• We can't even attempt to do Jim David's attack on the anti-gay GOP justice:

The hysterical right wing response to the House passage of the hate crimes bill [equates] gays with terrorists: if Al Qaeda doesn't get you, Al Gayda will.

They claim that the bill will criminalize antigay speech, which of course it won't. They will still be able to say nasty things about gays, they just won't be able to beat them up, which, of course, most of them want to do.

And it only gets better, especially when he goes after the gay conservatives. Bitch is on a roll…

• Mollygood - our Hollywood-obsessed virtual cousin - has a new look. Oh, and we think straight editor Cord Jefferson has a crush on the newly-hunky Marc Jacobs. Pass it on…

• Meanwhile, we totally have a crush on Brothers and Sisters' queer creator, Robbie Baitz.

• And Liv Tyler wants Karolina Kurkova's titties. (Also, Jessica Simpson and reality have apparently had a nasty break-up. Tragic.)

• What's queer about fall's television schedule? How about Bryan Singer, Footballer's Wives, Darren Star and Bobby Cannavale, of Will & Grace, The Night Listener and a slew of other gay-themed shows/movies/etc…

• The Bible-spouting, gay-hating Floridian airport employee totally got canned. Now you queens can fly into Fort Lauderdale without hearing the blasphemous manipulation of Biblical text. Hooray!

• We never knew Isabella Blow, but we still think she's rad.

• Out's Equus-inspired, Chad White-starring, Francois Rousseau-shot, Sam Jaradeh-styled photo shoot may be one of the hottest spreads we've seen in a long time. (In print, of course.) Even if you've seen the paper edition, you'll definitely want to head over to the magazine's website to take an exclusive peek at White's oh-so-beautiful bum. It's really quite delicious…

Picking new videos everyday can get a little rough. We know it's hard to image that we run out of ways to satisfy your need for the aural, but we really do.

As always, we welcome your suggestions. No, we may not have the same tastes, it's definitely nice to have a little input.

Earlier this week, Jossip's Debbie Newman offered us a little Warren G/Nate Dogg action. Well, today we asked our other cousin, old stud muffin Cord Jefferson of Mollygood, what he'd like to hear. He suggested British-born actress/singer/offspring of Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg: Charlotte Gainsbourg.

So, here's "The Songs The We Sing" from last year's 5:55. If it rings a bell, it may be the influences of Jarvis Cocker or the boys from Air or Irish songster Neil Hannon: all of them had a hand in the album's creation.

Give it a listen and let us know what you think.