Ted Haggard Will Only Reveal Whether He’s a Top or Bottom for a Fee

American Idol enthusiast Ted Haggard, who’s been tweeting about his weight loss struggle in between taking the kids to school and making media appearances, is on a nationwide church tour preaching the gospel, seeking forgiveness, and other ridiculous things you’d expect from a man who slept with male prostitutes, on meth, all the while preaching against homosexuality. On Sunday he was in Irving, Tex., and the senior pastor there was sure to remind the congregation about Haggard’s history. By the time the disgraced ex-pastor took the mic, the only thing left for him to talk about was how he was a sinner.

Attendees, meanwhile, weren’t too impressed with Ted and wife Gayle’s reluctance to speak about Ted’s drug use, or go into the details about how the anti-gay pastor came to bed other men. (Officially, Haggard only received a “massage.” From one man.)

Then again, attendees might not have realized the Haggards collected a fee for appearing at the church, and the sort of scathing details they want to hear about will eventually be told … in Gayle’s follow-up-to-Ted’s book, to be released in January.

See? You can come home again. And get paid!