Making sure your potential employer knows your a big ‘mo could be crucial to your career, especially when it comes to not having one. Did you know some folks advise coming out during the job interview? Lest any middle-level human resources manager think you’re a breeder, it’s wise to correct them right away. Maybe even put it on your resume. In bold!
Okay, the advice doesn’t suggest you make a “wise Latina” comment and argue you’re more qualified for the job because you’re gay, but there’s nothing wrong with slipping in your same-sex-loving status on your way out the door, argues Lesbilicious. Why? Because it shows you’re “brave,” “honest,” and willing to test anti-discrimination laws! (Worth noting: The advice comes from a website in Britain, not the ENDA-less America.)
Sharing your gayness also invokes Gay Privilege. Companies, we hear, want to increase diversity in the workplace, so if HR knows you’re a ‘mo, they can use you to fill the quota. Affirmative action like wha’?
And then there are the residual benefits. If you do get the job as an out ‘mo, then you’re walking into an office that knows which way you swing, and this will, supposedly, “weed out the homophobes.” Also: Fewer gay jokes at your expense.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Just don’t expect all the office camaraderie associated with Good Ole Boys clubs, even if the wife of your (straight male) boss just adores you.
The Gay Numbers
That’s a stupid suggestion. No matter what you do- the mere fact of saying that will be considered political. You don’t want people think you are political in an interview. And as for diversity. Yes, companies make a lot of lip service to diversity. keywords: lip service. Come out after you get the job, not during an interview.
theo geer
Don’t come out. Be out. My resume lists my work as a Board member for the Brotherhood of the Phoenix. Less than a minute on Google reveals that I’m a homosexual. Assume everyone knows and act normally. If they don’t figure it out, correct them with a smile and a gentle reminder. If the interviewer has an issue with your sexuality, trying to keep it under wraps is a bad idea. If they don’t, there’s nothing to keep you from talking about your non-profit work, your activism, or your involvement in the equal rights movement. — Not involved, get involved, then you’ll always have something to talk about.
Fitz
@theo geer: I totally agree. The answer is to BE more of a gay than just someone who has gay sex, and to let your activism and, if possible, your work speak for who you are and what your values are.
ArronC
If it comes up in the interview, don’t lie. If it doesn’t, don’t mention it. Why act any different than a straight person would in the interview? If the interviewer asks if you’re married, say “No, but I have been with my partner for 5 years.” That is much better than “I have a B.A. in English Literature and by the way, I am a homosexual.”
Fitz
@ArronC: Well, if you are a Californian and they ask if you are married, the correct answer is “I don’t think you really want to ask that”, as it is an non-allowed question. But in general, I advise people to not be any less of who they are in an interview than they plan to be when working.. though I am luckier than many, and the interviews have always been in two directions.
edgyguy1426
Before I owned my own business I always asked during interviews if it was a gay-friendly place to work. I wouldn’t want to work in an atmosphere or for any company that wouldn’t be supportive.
Ramble Redhead
I recently went on a job interview and within two minutes – the owner asked me if I was married and when I replied no he asked if I had wanted to get married and I said YES.
He followed with questions regarding my resume and was shocked to see that I had been with a job for a long period of time and kept going on and on about my age.
He also added that he thought Obama was a socialist and how gas prices would be back up to $4 again soon.
He is a total nut!
Jake the libertarian
I interview people for positions within my company and as someone who hires others and a big ‘mo, take my advice… Keep your personal life to yourself in a job interview. Obviously I would never discriminate against a gay person, but I would also think twice about hiring anyone who has the goal of “testing discrimination policies”.
You are not owed a position within my company. We will hire you only if it is in OUR best interest. Keep that in mind when you apply. I wouldn’t mention any personal stuff unless it comes up naturally, although in my interview methods, I cannot imagine how it could. At the same time, once you have the job hopefully you will make friends. We all talk about our personal lives to coworkers and friends. This is fine a good. Just keep it out of the interview.
Josh
This is bad advice if you live in the Bible Belt.
I know a guy that was fired for being gay. He is a teacher and wasn’t renewed this year because the administrators and other teachers hated him because he is so effeminate (in mannerisms) and flamboyant.
You would think that they would like him because even though he is obviously gay he is also a Christian and a self-hater that tries desperately (and fails miserably) to be straight.
But even though he publicly identifies as straight and tries his best to date women, they still hated him.
Luckily, they don’t know that I’m gay too. I’ll have to be in an iron closet while teaching around here and until I can save enough money to move!!
Cam
Never talk about your personal life in an interview unless they are asking about your outside interests, hobbies, etc… This is true if you are divorced, a new parent, going through a break up, etc…
I’ve been out in every job I’ve had, some of them had backlash at first, some didn’t. But my attitude was, fuck it, now they can’t ever say they haven’t worked with somebody who was gay.
bystander
It really depends on the company and the situation, a more nuanced suggestion would be, if you intend to make it known your a big Mo, do it in the interview, or if you feel the company is gay friendly come out in the interview.
hmmm
When I was a law student applying for jobs at law firms, I made sure that all of the law firms knew I was gay. Not in a “hey, I’m a homo” way, but in my resume I mentioned gay activism, and sometimes I would ask if the firm was gay-friendly or if I could interview with a gay or lesbian attorney. I got a bunch of job offers and picked a great firm. If being out during your interview makes the person interviewing you uncomfortable, how comfortable do you think you would be working there day in and day out?
vernonvanderbilt
The midwest definitely has a different set of rules as far as outness goes. Unless you’re in a particularly liberal area or a place that has employment non-discrimination on the books, I would recommend testing the waters first. Get a feel for the work environment before volunteering any more than the bare minimum.
Until I got laid off, I spent three years working in the security business. I worked with a lot of homophobes, including several in positions of authority. My philosophy was, don’t volunteer unnecessary information unless asked directly. I’m sure many people suspected, but no one had the balls to ask. If they had, I’d have answered truthfully, but I probably would have been out of a job as a result.
I’m all for being out and proud whenever possible, but sometimes you need to be choosy about your battles. This article is essentially bullshit, obviously written by someone who has a lot less to worry about than most of us do.
NTS
I out myself on my first interview.
If the employer has a problem with it, it’s not the type of place I want to work. Simple as that. I’ve always gotten a second interview (and eventually a job offer).
Disclosure: I live/work in NYC. I realize I don’t live in the “real” world.
MoHoTo
@Ramble Redhead: I feel you. I have worked for lunes of the left and the right. What I can tell you is this: there is absolutely no correlation between working for a lefty loon and a right wing loon, except the right wingers always met payroll, and in my experience, paid better.
On the other hand, a lot of more progressive workplaces put everyone into their little identity politics cubbyhole, and depending on what flavor is running the show, you can be just as screwed there as in a “conservative” workplace.
Or as a friend of mine once said, ” Jobs. Mostly they are a shit sandwich. That’s why people have to pay you to do them.”
z
@NTS: Exactly. It’s easy to be gay here. I can’t say I’d feel the same ease elsewhere in the country, but then that’s part of why I live in NYC: I don’t want to live in a place where I have to worry that my being gay is going to cost me a job.
echelon
You should only be hired or fired based upon your qualifications and performance on the job. When ENDA is finally passed we will have federal legislation in place where you CANNOT be fired merely because you are Gay/Lesbian.
With that said, a person’s sexual orientation does come up on the job whether you like it or not. And there should be no reason why you should hide it.
Research the company you are soliciting first to see whether or not they support equality in the workplace.
For more GLBT business news visit: http://www.echelonmagazine.com
RobinNYC
There’s one question that can out you completely, but is not in any way an inappropriate question in an interview situation:
‘Does this company offer domestic partner benefits?’
That’s how I do it. And I’ve never had a problem. But I, too, live in the ‘fake’ America.
The Gay Numbers
I want to know in what context does a person sexuality come up in a job interview at a law firm or any company? Why would you be asking abot benefits in the first interview? I don’t typically discuss that until the second. I suppose my quesiton is related to what kind of jobs are you seeking. Entry level? becaue I have never been in a job where there was just one interview, and that was it. Typically there are two or three.
The Gay Numbers
By the way- the persona bove claiming that he’s gay and law firms have no problem with it is full of shit. If you want to know here how big law firms think go to abovethelaw.com which is a legal tabloid like queerty is a gay one. I question how old you are.
Hmmm
@The Gay Numbers:
I’m not full of shit, it was a totally true story. I work at one of the top law firms in my area, and I was totally out during my interview process. Some of the top law firms actually ask you if you are gay (more specifically, they ask if you want to self-identify as gay) because they report their numbers to various organizations that rank law firms on diversity.
I am a relatively young lawyer (mid 20s) and I do live in a liberal coastal city, so I’m not saying my experience should guide everyone in every part of America. But if you are a gay lawyer from a good law school applying to law firms in NYC, LA, Boston, San Fran, DC, etc., then the only reason not to be out during your interview is because you are scared.
Ricky
@theo geer: EXACTLY
And for the people that think being an undercover fag is helpful:
Get a brain. If you don’t let them know that you are gay at the interview you won’t know if you are being hired into a hostile phobic environment. Save yourself the headache!
Ricky
@Jake the libertarian: how very 1978 of you.
fitz
@The Gay Numbers: The context upon which you would want to talk about sexual orientation is with things like DP benefits, and the agency’s handling of GLBT issues or populations.
Alex
@Hmmm: True. The legal field (and I’ve heard similar about accounting too) really strives for diversity for various reasons, maybe because it’s traditionally been such a white man’s field but it’s still a highly-educated field (i.e. not some blue collar thing). I’m applying to law schools this fall and believe me I’m waving the Gay card on every application, except for one of my schools which is affiliated with Catholics (it’s in my metro area so I’m using it as a safety school, so I’ll get in there anyway). At the same time though, I don’t really volunteer it in a regular job interview. I recently started a job working for a large firm with its HQ in a place with a very solid record on gay rights (and the company’s gay rights record matches accordingly) but you can never really know how your interviewer thinks about it, and obviously they are in a big position of power at the interview phase. Once you’re hired, though, if you know the company has a good stance on gay rights there’s no reason to hide anything.
The Gay Numbers
@Hmmm: Sorry but I am calling you as full of shit.
The Gay Numbers
@fitz: There is practically speaking no reason why the particulars of a benefits package would come up at all in an interview. I can see once they make an offer, but why would you be discussing the particulars of benefits before there is an offer of a job? gay or not.
Aladin Sane
About 10 years ago I had a very negative experience working for a company that didn’t have protections for LGBT people in a state that didn’t as well. Daily, I heard my boss call people “fags” in a very derogatory manner and even though he and I got along fairly well (I was in the closet at the time and only told him I thought it was inappropriate professional behavior) I was always afraid his self-righteous ire would turn on me. When I had had enough, I started interviewing for other jobs. In my first interview with the senior management of a new firm, I said loud and clear, “I am gay!” I quickly followed up with, though I wasn’t trying to make an issue of my sexuality nor was it something I felt the need to generally bring into the workplace, “I need to know that I work in an environment that respects me and will allow me to perform at my best w/o worry that I will be discriminated against for things unrelated to my job.” Needless to say, I got it and was told that my declaration had helped seal the deal. Not because I was gay, a non issue for this company, but because I was willing to stand up and be truthful about who I was, what I had experienced, and what I expected from the company I wanted to work for. They had rightly concluded that I would be great for them because they knew I would be open and honest, not a yes-man. Don’t let anyone tell you your sexuality is not appropriate to discus, no part of your life should ever have its own box. It may not be the right answer every time, but when it’s your truth and needs to be said, say it, “Loud and clear!”
Huh
I “came out” during an interview for the first time last year. They asked which community organizations I’d be involved with and I said gay and lesbian ones. It’s a teaching position at a college, so it probably helped more than it hurt. And I wasn’t desperate to have the job, so I just did it. Got hired. Not sure what I’d suggest for anyone else. I think it’s best to just be you and let the chips fall where they may.
The Gay Numbers
@Huh: Agree with that. I think if it naturally comes up or it is no problem with you personaly then fine. I would just think it weird for them to ask me that question so it is weird to hear someone suggestion I should tell them as a way to get the job.
RobinNYC
Maybe this conversation is too far down, but I have to respond. I, too, work for a major East Coast law firm. The number of gay attorneys is astounding. If I was husband-hunting, I’d be a pig in shit. The number of pro bono gay cases the firm takes on is huge. I have friends at other major law firms who are apart of their Gay/Lesbian social and business networking groups. So…Hmmmm ain’t speaking bullshit.
Maybe it’s just cause I’m in NYC. Maybe it’s really different here than anywhere else. But I cannot imagine going into an interview and NOT discussing things like DP benefits and such. I want to know immediately just how supportive a work environment would be. If it’s not supportive, I don’t want the job.
Fitz
@The Gay Numbers: Yea- cuz I wouldn’t waste time with someone who didn’t offer them. I know it’s different for all of us, but I am a specialist– and you don’t get to have me work for you unless you can meet my demands. One of them is fair treatment.
BobP
Why? Because it shows you’re “brave,” “honest,” and willing to test anti-discrimination laws!
Wrong!!! I’ve been on many interview panels for a NYC city agency. Coming across as someone who is looking to test anti-discrimination laws is NOT NOT NOT going to get you a job.
The Gay Numbers
@BobP: That’s my thought. I am gay, and If someone randomly announce they are gay int eh middle of the interview while I am trying to asssess if they are qualified for th ejob. my first thought will be that’s a negative because I don’t care if they are gay. i care about how they are going to do their job and are they nice to work with. I feel the same way if some guy randomly starts telling me he sleeps with women. Why is that again relevant.
Aladin Sane
It would only be random if the response was irelevant. If you think its a negative that a prospective employee wants to ensure they won’t be treated differently, I wouldn’t want to work for you. Remember, the company is being interviewed as well. The only point I’d concede, which hasn’t been made yet, is as society progresses it becomes less important since most large businesses adopt anti-discriminatory policies and their reputation can be verified. However, that hasn’t always been the case and at times still isn’t. At the end of the day, if you are concerned about what treatment you can expect from a business, you have every right to ask about it!
The Gay Numbers
@Aladin Sane: I think it is random because it has nothing to do with whether you can do the job and whether you are going to be a good or bad coworker. Just like if a guy, and this did happen once, starts talking about some girl he banged, I thought it was odd.
I also don’t give fuck what you conceed or don’t. You people are fucking morons.
The Gay Numbers
RE the Lawyers lying here
Here’s a new york time article on the state of the legal market
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/26/business/26lawyers.html?_r=2&hpw
I don’t know why come on a random gay blog to make shit up, but just for those who are considering law- here’s the reality: it’s bad for everyone, including top firms like Skadden Arps.
RobinNYC
Yeah yeah yeah…I’m late to the response party.
But really…what the hell are you talking about?? No one is lying to you. We are simply relaying our actual experiences in law firms. There are white shoe firms that are very staid and homophobic. I worked at one. I left that place to find a more open, diverse environment. And I found it. Honestly…just cause it doesn’t fit in to your myopic world view doesn’t mean we are lying.
Sheesh.
Oh…and I ain’t no lawyer.
Hmmm
@The Gay Numbers: Your view of this whole situation reeks of the same misconception that makes people think that gay men “flaunt” their sexuality. Telling someone you are gay is not at all like a straight guy telling you about the hot sex he had last weekend. When I tell someone I am gay, I have not told them a single thing about my sex life. I have merely told them my sexual orientation. As far as they know, I could be celibate, or I could be a huge whore. Some straight people get uncomfortable when a guy mentions being gay, because they equate a gay identity with gay sex; they reduce the gay identity to the act of sex and nothing more. So they think that when a gay guy mentions being gay, that he is discussing his sex life, when in reality he has told them nothing about his sex life. It sounds like you have bought into the same belief.
I want to be openly gay during the interview process because I want to make sure that the work environment is friendly to gay people. It is entirely appropriate for a gay job applicant to prefer an office that respects gay people to an office where gay people are made to feel uncomfortable, and for this to enter your decision, you have to know whether the office is accepting or not before you take the job. There is no reason this should not come up during the interview. If my interviewer thinks I am “flaunting” my sexuality by casually mentioning my boyfriend during the interview, then that is not somewhere I want to work. Believe me, I am currently interviewing law students, and the straight ones always mention their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. Interviews often involve chit-chat. It just comes up.
Rick
why does he have an abacus and why do i find abuci SO arousing?