Earlier this week, Colton Haynes set Instagram ablaze with a snapshot of his gorgeous nipples chillin on an Australian beach.
The photo, which has since been deleted, was captioned with a Christopher Columbus quote: āYou can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.ā As expected, nobody gave a hoot about the deep existentialism or the A+ art shot ā all weāve been talking about for the last two days areĀ Colton Haynesā nipples.
But does Colton Haynes haveĀ the best male nipples in Hollywood? (Probably.)
We reached deep into the Queerty archives and determined which celebrities have the most talked about nipples here, and through a combination of gay witchcraft and tallying the number of times you said ānippleā in the comments section, weāve rounded up sixĀ finalists.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Just look at these tits, boys! Tell us which ones are the best:
Colton Haynes
Isaiah Mustafa
Davey Wavey
Ā
[polldaddy poll=ā8010586ā³]
imperator
How am I supposed to make that judgment call without a taste test, first? It’s like asking “which of these pies tastes best just from looking at them.”
WhyteRabbit
uhmmm…. where’s the write-in vote for henry cavill?
ingyaom
Let’s be honest about this… love him or hate him, it’s got to be Davey.
Polaro
Davey, but he really isn’t a celebrity.
Billy Budd
I like medium to small nipples. Nipples should not be long and distended (this happens to S&M people). The best nipple of the list is definitely Colton Haynes’ .
I love to have my nipples sucked, licked and bitten. Tenderly, softly bitten. I get an instant erection when a guy plays with my nipples like that.
Fang
For sure Davey Wavey! I’ve always wanted to get at those!!
DuMaurier
@WhyteRabbit: That isn’t really fair. Henry Cavill has an automatic lock on Best Any Body Part (that we’ve seen)
hotshot70
man, you found my weakness. I wanna lick each one of those perky nips!
jeau
When pectorals cast their own shadow they become breasts.
Spike
@Polaro: He is here on Queerty. Which says a lot more about Queerty then Davey.
Large Marge
The problem with this poll is that it does not simply judge nipple love… it judges the person who has that nipple.
There is an inherent bias (like hating Tom Daley) in judging nipples meaning that you would never vote for him even if you actually believe he has the best nips.
Do you twatwaffles not know who to form a proper poll that at least emulates scientific process?
aliengod
I’ve never been able to get past Davey’s whiney voice and effeminate mannerisms! Definitely have to agree with Henry Cavill as the best.
lykeitiz
@imperator: I have nothing to add……you’ve said a mouthful! š
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
All the above are exactly equal in my estimation (Davey Wavey excepted: every part of his being is ugly and evil). I have no strong positive feeling about this part of a man’s body other than male nips should be either small or tiny with no sign of areola puffiness or gyno commonly seen in steroid abusers; the type of big thick fleshy nipples you could hang your coat on make me want to vomit. Conversely, tiny nipples on a woman make me nauseous as does the other extreme of ENORMOUS discoloured areola with undefined boundaries.
carey579
@aliengod LOL When I first saw Davey’s pictures I thought what a handsome man then I saw his videos and I was totally turned off. (The voice/mannerisms and now just the nature of his videos too)
To be fair he has great nipples, I’m just not attracted to them. Among the options here I would have to pick Colton. If overall then – Joe ofcourse š
Also the perfect nipples does not mean the perfect pecs right? Then we’ll have to see the overall shape/size/and proportion to the rest of the body it’s attached to. This is so hard! O_O
carey579
Queerty should have the sexiest or the biggest pecs poll too!
I bet Eric Bana would win the latter – one word – TROY!
Mark Whalberg/Chris Hemsworth/Chris Evans would win over these guys too.
row416
What about Robbie Amell? Have you seen his…OMG? sorry Colton!!
DarkZephyr
@carey579: “@aliengod LOL When I first saw Daveyās pictures I thought what a handsome man then I saw his videos and I was totally turned off. (The voice/mannerisms and now just the nature of his videos too)”
Are you EVER going to STFU about your disdain for effeminant mannerisms in gay men? Dear LORD you are annoying with that!
DerekR
@DarkZephyr: Don’t hold your breath…….
Mezaien
Isaiah Mustafa, babe come sit on my face.
D P
For me it’s a toss-up between Colton Haynes and Zac Efron, but like @imperator: I’m going to have to have a taste test too!
IvanPH
Definitely COLTON HAYNES. I’ve been staring at his nipples since I saw it in his Instagram. However, they’re not the best out there. ROBBIE AMELL has the best pair of tits, Google him and you’ll know that I am not wrong,
drivendervish
This was really a difficult choice. I have been in lust with Colton for a long time but I was slightly turned off his shaved chest. Zac was a very close second. And I must say I am absolutely shocked that Davey is ahead of Zac and everybody else. Is Davey getting a sympathy vote because he looks so out of place in this group or maybe they can relate to his look of desperation. I am guessing that a few more days of voting will clear up this disparity.
semtex
No mention of Max Greenfield’s nipples? They drive me crazy every time I see them.
hotboyvb81
I always thought Chad Michael Murray had the best- y’all will do anything to work Tom Daley into a piece š
Fvk847
Umm so I may be out of it, but who the heck is Davey Wavey?!
DerekR
@Fvk847:
Fvk847 meet Google, Google meet Fvk847.
I don’t understand people who ask questions that they can easily answer for themselves…
sejjo
I am an intelligent person, and I refuse to partake in such puerile nonsense!
OK, you convinced me! The specimen calling hisself Davey Wavey…drool.
row416
@IvanPH: see…you agree with me!!
Faggot
The only one here who doesn’t have the nipples of a pre-pubescent boy is Davey Wavey.
The pigmented area around the nipple (areola) should be at least the circumference of a quarter. The nipple itself should not be flat. That is what a man’s nipple would ideally look like.
In any case, it’s nice to see a gay rag not being so phallus-centric for once (for some reason, most American men think that only their crotches are an erogenous zone). Then again, one doubts that QUEERTY could have published bottomless shots here.
BTW, I had no idea who this Davey Wavey was either, and as per DerekR’s most cordial suggestion, I used a search engine (other than Google) to find out. He is a gay YouTube personality. Why would Fvk847 have known who he was anyway?
aliengod
@DarkZephyr: No. Don’t plan to. Maybe when men start acting like men and not whiney little fems.