alternative facts

The 5 most ridiculous quotes from Kellyanne Conway’s new tell-all (so far)

Kellyanne Conway is in the final publicity stretch leading up to the Tuesday release of her new memoir, Here’s the Deal, and hopefully her editor didn’t lose too much sleep sifting through a sea of alternative facts.

Insiders say the “unvarnished, eye-popping” book will focus on Conway’s dramatic tenure as Trump’s closest and most loyal White House advisor, as well as how that position affected her marriage to vocal Trump critic, George Conway.

George was nothing if not public about his contempt for Trump. “Don’t assume that the things [Trump] says and does are part of a rational plan or strategy, because they seldom are,” he wrote in 2019. “Consider them as a product of his pathologies, and they make perfect sense.”

Kellyanne has mostly stayed silent about her marriage, but she’s clearly ready to cash in with some book sales.

People published two excerpts from Here’s the Deal, and because we know you probably don’t even want to read that much of Conway’s musings, here are the five most ridiculous quotes:

Accusing George of “cheating by tweeting”

George was spending chunks of time in New York at the firm, where he voluntarily went from partner to an of-counsel role, spending his nights alone at our house in Alpine, New Jersey, 240 miles away from D.C. The numbers don’t lie. During this time, the frequency and ferocity of his tweets accelerated. Clearly he was cheating by tweeting. I was having a hard time competing with his new fling.

Criticizing Trump was a violation of wedding vows

…his daily deluge of insults-by-tweet against my boss—or, as he put it sometimes, “the people in the White House”—violated our marriage vows to “love, honor, and cherish” each other.

With a straight face, Ivanka claimed to be “in a family of Democrats”

“I am in a family of Democrats,” [Ivanka] said, referring to at least some of the Kushners. “I get it.”

This creepy-sounding image of Trump was “his usual place”

I was summoned to the back dining room, where the president was seated in his usual place with his back to the windows, a jar of Starbursts and a muted TV in front of him.

Trump called George “nasty” to Kellyanne’s fac– actually, this one is on brand

“Can you believe this?” Trump said, referring to George’s recent eruptions. “This guy is nasty. He won’t stop. And it’s our Kellyanne. She’s my top person. She knows a lot, too! What are we going to do?”

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