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A well-known Australian actor, Hugh Sheridan, has opened up about his sexuality in Sunday magazine, Stellar.
Sheridan, 34, is a familiar face on Australian screens, with a long-running role in the TV show Packed To The Rafters, and its more recent follow-up, Back To The Rafters. He’s also played opposite Rebel Wilson and Delta Goodrem in movies.
His private life has long been the subject of rumor and speculation, but until now, he has refused to offer details to the press.
Related: Actor Francois Arnaud comes out as bisexual with powerful message
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Sheridan penned an essay for the magazine to explain why he had previously declined to talk about his love life.
He talked about being bullied as a child, being encouraged by early mentors – some of them gay – to keep any same-sex relationships under wraps for the sake of his career and finally gaining the self-confidence to reveal more about himself.
He said he had a relationship with a man when younger, but is currently single: “And everyone is on the smorgasbord!”
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“I’ve never felt I really knew who I was and I didn’t like the sounds of the labels that people were giving me so I decided to say nothing.
“But lockdown gave me time to reflect and it occurred to me that no-one ever sticks up for people who don’t pick a label.”
He added he was “never ashamed” of his sexuality, but, “Some people are working things out slower than others.”
“There must be a lot more people out there who feel how I feel – like the words still don’t fit.”
Related: Singer Avery Wilson comes out as bisexual on his 25th birthday
On the advice he received to not talk about his sexuality when younger, he said, “Figuring out that I connected with the same sex the way I did the opposite sex was almost a relief, so that advice was confusing.
“The way it was explained to me was that women wouldn’t want to pay to see a movie or TV show if they knew they couldn’t have sex with the leading man. And it made me angry.”
He said also said not to judge others for how to they choose to label – or not label – their sexuality.
He also said, “Everything happens for a reason. Never judge someone unless you’ve walked in their shoes.”
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Cam
This one seems odd, like he’s not quite ready to come out. Because if he was bisexual and connected to women and men the same way, and being a famous actor in Australia, he would have dated a few women and that would have quieted down the rumors, it’s easy for a famous straight guy to meet women. It sounds more like he never publicly dated anybody which caused the rumors. And if he was hiding all his relationships, it sounds like they were all with men.
Like I said, not getting as many “bi” vibes off his story.
Either way, congratulations to him on taking this step!
Donston
The concept of bisexuality is much cleaner than what bisexuality actually tends to be. Most inherently bi men are not “connected to men and women in the same way”. Everyone seems to have different ideas around what all these “labels” actually mean. People frequently have contradictions, preferences, paraphiliacs, fluidity, phases. While, as I’ve said tons of times, the gender, romantic, sexual, emotional investment, relationship commitment spectrum is incredibly wide and varied. You also have things like prejudice, sociology, hetero pressures, masculine pressures, gay insecurities, ego, internal phobias, money, mental health issues, which will always be at play for many.
All of this is why it’s very difficult for some, especially guys, to talk directly about orientation, and it’s why identity politics is frequently problematic. I place so much emphasis on freedom, self-understanding, mental health and not allowing sociology or ego to get the best of you because of this.
barkomatic
There are a lot more bisexuals than we think and they are really attracted to both sexes—it’s a valid state of being. Social pressures sometimes still force them to pick the opposite gender and so they are often invisible to us. Gay men really struggle with the concept as well so if you date one guy in your life you’re gay in our eyes. I think it would be better off if we tried not to box people in so much.
Donston
Bark, that’s an overly simplistic viewpoint as well. I’ve had my own struggles and journey. I’ve interacted with many others who’ve had difficulties with their orientation or coming out. Everyone’s situation and motivation really is different. And not wanting to embrace an identity can be driven by a lot of different things.
“Bi” is complicated and often feels like something that doesn’t fit. Just like “gay” or “straight” doesn’t always feel like a great fit. Some folks are not hetero but they “feel straight”. Some folks are not homo but they “feel gay”. Some folks are hyper sexual and full of paraphiliacs and look to sexually engage with different types just because and don’t really know what that means identity wise. Some guys feel as if they’re exuding gay shame by proclaiming “bi pride”. Some guys indeed use “bi pride” to shield their gay shame and their insecurities. Sexuality itself is complicated. Are you really into that person or is it just a learned behavior and comfortable pattern? Are you just like this because you were abused? What do you do and how do you identity if you start experiencing fluidity? Attraction, desire, behavior, enjoyment, passion, comfort are all different things. Romantic and emotional feelings can be complicated. Who you feel better partnered with can take time to suss our. Who you can sustain relationship fulfillment and contentment with can be complicated. Mental health or addiction struggles can play a role and of course so can religion, fear, social pressures, a frail ego.
Identity, gender, sexuality, orientation- these things will never be as easy as some want. All we can do is support and promote people being real, confronting their issues and living the life they want to live.
Cam
@barkomatic
Except my comment wasn’t disavowing bisexuality. My comment was saying that in this particular instance. Someone who is bi, yet never dated any women, in an environment, where women are incredibly easy to meet and date, may not be completely accepting of himself.
He could meet women every day when he goes out to get coffee or the store, yet hasn’t. This sounds like he’s still having trouble with full acceptance.
Bisexuals I know, in his situation, would have been dating both men and women for the last decade.
Donston
But u don’t really have the right to say what means what. There is no clear definition of “bi”. Hell, there’s no clear definition of “gay” or “straight”. And orientation and sexuality seems to mean whatever the individual wants them to mean. While plenty of guys have affairs or brief relationships or hook-ups with women and still present themselves as “gay”. Never mind the realities of fluidity or confusions.
I don’t know why you and so many others remain obsessed with identity politics. If anything, that type of pressure and obsession with categorization just leads to more manipulation and shame. Just support people trying to be themselves and admitting they have struggles and dimensions. The dude doesn’t want to identify as anything. That is his right.
Catholicslutbox
“The way it was explained to me was that women wouldn’t want to pay to see a movie or TV show if they knew they couldn’t have sex with the leading man.”
100% true. It’s why an openly gay man could never play a leading role, aside from those where the character is gay.
Iirc, it’s the same reason why Matt Bomer stayed in the closet for so long.
Cam
@Donston
Except there are definitions for all of those things. If he isn’t attracted to women, he isn’t bi. If he is attracted to women, is a handsome and famous celebrity, he normally would have dated them.
Your inability to admit to basic reality doesn’t change the fact, that it is, in fact, reality.
Donston
Dude, even your definition of these words is all over the place. One second you push the idea that attractions and sexual behaviors is what defines these things. Then in another post you’ll suggest relationship ambitions, dating history and behaviors is what’s more important. You have questioned a lot of bi identifying guys bi identities, sometimes with seemingly no reason. And you immediately show anger towards people who completely align with your way of thinking.
People like you is partly why identity politics can be so problematic. You show a ton of favoritism and passion yet your opinions stay basic. Your understanding of sexuality, the orientation spectrum, sense of self and individual psyche is remarkably limited, and you seem unwilling to learn and genuinely engage with other perspectives and experiences. You push identity politics above education and understanding.
You’re quick to throw judgement out there but seem to have no real sympathy for individual circumstances and struggles outside of someone dealing with homophobia. Your self-righteousness has gotten the best of you, and you’re doing more harm than good. The sad thing is that you believe you’re helping folks.
I don’t know what’s up with this dude, his dimensions, his struggles, his motivations and how much manipulation he may have indulged. But that’s beside the point when it comes to you. Your perspective and tactics are problematic. Period.
barryaksarben
He is quite beautiful. I admire anyone who comes out in public and risk their career. It is never easy for anyone to come put and I support all who do in whatever way they feel it except the ones who use it to deflect from some crime or act they have committed
frankcar1965
“Bi” is on the road to gay.
Gourmet Guy
frankcarl, I absolutely agree. I’ve known guys on that road all my life. It takes a lot–even today–for a man to overcome the barriers set up to prevent him from having sex with another man.
Growing up, I knew plenty of young men (myself included) who fooled around with other guys, and I would often ask, “When did you first kiss another guy and really mean it?”
Donston
Your orientation, dimensions, struggles, journey is not everyone else’s. And please stop making “gay” and male-male connection all about sex. This is why folks don’t want to hear from “old gays”.
Kieran
Terrific. Now we’ll probably never hear of him again. Sad but true. Hope I’m wrong.
Donston
But did u know who the hell he was before?
Joshooeerr
Guess what?! The world is full of quite famous people who have successful careers in the rest of the world, that Americans remain unaware of. That doesn’t make them irrelevant.
Cam
@Donston
HE’s famous in Australia. Been on multiple TV shows for year. Interesting that you have posted multiple times on this thread yet don’t seem to have even read the article.
Joshooeerr
Sheridan’s “essay” is one of the most cack-handed attempts at coming out I’ve ever seen. He “didn’t like the labels people were putting on him” is just code for I didn’t want to be called “gay”. He makes endless excuses around the pressure of being a gay leading man, even though there are any number of more famous gay leading men who have had successful careers as romantic leads in the time he’s been around. And, most hilarious of all, he maintains that refusing to accept any labels and staying in the closet was somehow his “silent protest”. He clearly still has a long way to go, and sounds like he could do with some counselling from somebody who will help him accept who he is without all the excuses and qualifications ,
Donston
I agree that it appears he still has a long way to go as far as self-comfort and self-understanding. But I try not to judge. You really don’t have any idea what someone has gone through or what their journey has been like. He’s only sharing what he wants to share. But if the dude doesn’t ever want to fully embrace an identity he doesn’t have to. Damn near half of the popular is “bi” in some way or another or at some point in their lives. So, we really shouldn’t be placing so much emphasis on identity. However, the essay doesn’t come off as a legit, thorough exposé so much as a long, politically correct, blameless excuse for not being publicly “out”, which is not necessary. It actually just makes him look like a basic “gay” in denial rather than giving any real insight.
aussiegay
Australian here – Hugh Sheridan is GAY – he has always been GAY, he is NOT Bi Sexual.
He chose to remain in the closet so it would benifet his career, now due to COVID19 he has no career – SURPRISE a ‘tell all exclusive’ PAID.
Seriously mate GET A LIFE.
trsxyz
He seems very sincere on this issue, and I like his honesty in sharing his experience.
What really spoke to me was his statement that: “I didn’t like the sounds of the labels that people were giving me so I decided to say nothing…” However, later on he realized that: “It occurred to me that no-one ever sticks up for people who don’t pick a label…” Hence his decision to publicly address the speculation about his sexuality.
I’m a fan of anyone who admits that they are still a work in process…