A Christmastime miracle

Antigay preacher gleefully tells children Santa ain’t real


The holidays are a stressful time for anyone, but you really have the cards stacked against you when you’re a militant antigay preacher who has to destroy Christmastime for so many  little boys and girls.

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Fortunately, one such preacher rose to the occasion this weekend by making a special appearance at a Texas shopping mall, where he took to telling misty-eyed children that Santa Claus is a big fat lie.

In the video, Pastor David Grisham casually terrorizes parents and children, saying, “I want to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does not exist.”

The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2016 years ago. He was born in a manger in a small town called Bethlehem. That is the truth about Christmas.”

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Parents’ call to keep his preachy pie-hole shut fell on deaf ears.

“The man you’re going to see today is just a man in a suit dressed up like Santa but Santa doesn’t exist,” Grisham said. “Santa is not real.”


Fortunately, Grisham made no mention of the Easter Bunny, so these children can still believe a shambling humanoid rabbit annually breaks into their home to lay eggs, tinsel, and Peeps on the dining room table.