You’d better not pout, you’d better not cry, and if you happen to be a mall Santa, you’d definitely better not be gay.
Following the release of a new documentary called I Am Santa Claus, the mall Santa community (don’t underestimate them, they know when you’ve been sleeping) has their respective beards is a twist over the inclusion of a — gasp — gay Santa Claus.
The film follows all sorts of seasonal Santas during their winter stints as well as the rest of the year, when they do things from BBQing a mean rack of ribs to selling real estate (have you seen the price of a one bedroom in the North Pole lately?).
But one of the Santas, Jim Stevenson, is gay. And for many of his would-be jolly brethren, that’s a line that just shouldn’t be crossed.
Some of the more prominent Santas have taken to Facebook to voice their outrage:
One YouTuber agreed, writing:
“So, Santa Fag makes his film debut? How disgraceful! We, as a society, have become TOO accepting of immoral lifestyles. Fags need to be shamed not paraded around.”
Director Tommy Avallone told Vice:
“[The Santas] couldn’t actually say what they were upset about, because they didn’t want to seem like blatant homophobic people, they would just say they don’t feel that we should “ruin the magic” of Christmas. We got called the armageddon of Santa World, we got told we were going to be on the “very naughty” list and that we would stay there for a very long time.”
What’s next, a black Santa? Think of the children!
The real irony is that one of the other Santas in the film works at a sex club when he’s not bouncing children on his lap every holiday season. Sex club Santa? Well, everyone has their quirks. Gay, committed relationship Santa? The horror!
Here’s the trailer, which features Jim Stevenson as well as sex club Santa: