“At Least It’s A Fruit Pie”

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Everyone needs a nemesis. Someone who stands for everything you are against. A coyote to your roadrunner, a Joker to your Batman. We gays are missing that these days. Sure, we have birdbrain W and his pod people, but they miss that certain dramatic spunk. That very next level of ridiculousness. In the 70’s we had the most bitchin’ enemy ever: Anita Bryant.

This orange juice chugging, disc jockey-marrying Christian fundamentalist singer tried to “save our children” from the homosexual recruiters. She failed. We signed on as pre-teens while watching Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer bump heads in Top Gun’s faggy locker room scene.

This month marks the 28th anniversary (ok, we celebrate it every year) of Bryant’s fruity pieing by “four self-proclaimed” homosexuals. And it was all caught on tape! We’d like to share the messy video for those of you unfortunate enough to have never encountered this lovely piece of television history before. And the full audio version, prayer-filled sobbing and all, is included here.

This, my dear friends, is what happens to your hair when you hate gay people.