This just in: Cuckolding is having a serious moment right now.
A new study conducted by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller, Dan Savage investigates the age old fetish.
While cuckolding was initially viewed as more of a heterosexual phenomenon, it’s become increasingly popular among gay couples as well.
“I’d long gotten letters from straight couples into cuckolding (usually initiated by the husband),” Savage says, “but none from gay couples until after marriage equality began to gather steam.”
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Related: Cuckolding Is On The Up And Up Among Gay Couples
For their study, Savage, Lehmiller and Ley investigated the cuckolding fantasies of both gay and straight couples, including 580 gay men.
So what did the find? Well, it seems gay guys and straight guys view the whole thing a bit differently.
Straight guys reported a lot more interracial and BDSM fantasies around cuckolding. Also, they said they were mostly turned on by the taboo factor of it all.
“In a society or culture that idealizes monogamy, the cuckold fantasy is a current narrative that is available to people to conceptualize their sexual fantasies,” says Ley.
But gay men didn’t see it quite the same way.
“For gay men, cuckolding isn’t quite as taboo because the norm of lifelong monogamy isn’t so strong in the LGBT community,” says Lehmiller. “However, it can still be arousing for a number of other reasons.”
Related: Guy Caught Sleeping With Girlfriend’s Gay Friend: “It Wasn’t Cheating Because It Was With A Guy”
Lehmiller continues, “It’s a sexual desire that can be easily customized to meet a wide range of sexual needs and desires, whether it’s taboo sex, novelty, voyeurism or something else.”
A lot of gay men also said they got turned on just by watching their partner hookup with someone else.
“It’s not cuckolding if there isn’t an element of humiliation, degradation or denial,” Savage says. “Our erotic imaginations have the ability to turn shame lemons into delicious kink lemonade.”
Kink lemonade, indeed!
Savage finished with a note of caution:
“The reality of watching your spouse have sex with someone else–or knowing they’re doing it, if you’re not there–is often very different than the fantasy,” he says. “It can dredge up powerful emotions, so take baby steps and keep talking and communicating.”
“That said, the rewards can be amazing, according to couples who have successfully folded cuckold play into their relationships.”
Related: Gay Guys Turn To Whisper To Confess Their Cheating Ways
KaiserVonScheiss
Oh look, another pro-promiscuity article. God forbid two people build meaningful relationships together.
Heywood Jablowme
Aw, Kaiser, we know you’re just disappointed that Queerty never has an article about your “schess” fetish.
CastleSF
I just don’t get it no matter how hard I try. Why do some people develop these weird sexual fantasies that are degrading, humiliating, and promoting unfaithful behaviors? Have they lost their moral compass?
charlietex
Sexual behavior and immorality are not the same thing. Religion conflated them but it’s an incorrect correlation.
frankcar1965
There you go again with your holier than thou idiotic attitudes? Apparently you think YOU are the arbiter of OTHERS lives. Stop judging and go on with YOUR life. Gays have had the straights telling us what we can do and not do for a long time and now we have idiots like you telling us what to do. We set our own terms and not what others think we should do. Why don’t you go tell the straights what they should do and see what you get. STFU your Highness. Odd for someone coming from SF.
frankcar1965
How about worrying about YOUR moral compass and leave everybody else alone.
charlietex
I should have said consensual sexual behavior
CastleSF
I just pray that these people will somehow find the strength and wisdom in their heart to conquer the demons that cause them to get turned on by such unexplained fantasies. At the very least, learn not to act upon them.
PinkoOfTheGange
Okay so the difference between being a cuck and a voyeur is humiliation…the more you know.