PLENTY OF FISH

Five Tips For Snagging Ian Thorpe Or Another Olympian

Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer Ian Thorpe told Sunday Style that dating has pretty much been a nightmare since he came out publicly.

“Dating’s been a lot harder than I thought it would be,” 33-year-old Thorpe said. “It’s an absolute mess out there! I’m like, ‘Where are all the normal people?’ I’ve mostly met great guys but, occasionally, I’ve met a couple of douche-y guys as well. It’s enough motivation for me to want to settle down with someone away from that scene.”

Related: Ian Thorpe Reveals He Finds Dating A Nightmare Since He Came Out Last Year

OK, so what can we extract from this? First, Thorpe is definitely looking to settle down, which is sorta sweet. Second, he doesn’t like douche bags. Good to know that Olympians have the same struggles as us ordinary folk. But how else might you go about winning his heart? And we don’t just mean to pick on Ian. Gus Kenworthy is apparently in play these days, too, although Tom Daley is definitely taken. So is Blake Skjellerup.

Scroll down for five strategies on nabbing an Olympian…

Hit the gym, especially the pool

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First and foremost, if you want to date a professional athlete, you should probably be in pretty good shape yourself. Fitness is important to him, after all. Plus it will give you a better understanding of just how hard he works to look the way he looks. Oh, and let’s not forget that working out is a healthy extracurricular activity, and we could all stand to lose a few pounds.

Know your Olympic facts

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And we don’t just mean what brand of swimwear Tom Daly is sporting these days. Learn when and where the Olympics will next take place (hint: Rio, 2016), what sports will be featured, and who the previous winners were. You might even want to spend a few minutes brushing up on the history of the Olympic Games, which is actually pretty fascinating, not to mention pretty homoerotic.

Check out his Instagram page

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This will help you to see what kind of guys he likes before you even approach. You might learn that you’re just not be his type, in which case you’d be better served searching for someone else rather than waste time hoping he’ll give you a shot.

Don’t stalk him on social media or Grindr

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Scrolling through his Istagram page is one thing, but sending him a million tweets or liking every single one of his status updates is just weird and makes you seem like a stalker. And nobody wants to date a stalker. There is a short distance between a fan and a fanatic, Kathy Bates style.

Once you get together, don’t be a freak.

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Be yourself. Unless, of course, you are a freak–maybe he’ll like that.