Actor Tyler Blackburn came out as bisexual earlier this year. Now, in a wide ranging interview with Playboy, the Roswell star is opening up about his amazing new boyfriend, feeling “very sexual,” and his coming out journey.
Throughout his teens and early 20s, Blackburn says he only ever dated women, though he occasionally “experimented” with men.
It wasn’t until he was 26 that he decided to “actively embrace my bisexuality and start dating men, or at least open myself up to the idea.” But it was a challenge.
“I had to really be patient with myself–and more so with men,” the 32-year-old recalls. “Certain things are much easier with women, just anatomically, and there’s a freedom in that.”
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Then, of course, there was social pressure that often comes with identifying as bisexual.
“Once I decided to date men, I was like, ‘Please just let me be gay and be okay with that, because it would be a lot f*cking easier’,” Blackburn says.
He continues: “At times, bisexuality feels like a big gray zone. I’ve had to check myself and say, I know how I felt when I was in love with women and when I slept with women. That was true and real. Don’t discredit that, because you’re feeding into what other people think about bisexuality.”
Today, Blackburn says he’s dating an “amazing guy,” though he stopped just short of mentioning the guy’s name or how they met.
He did make a point to note that the sex is pretty incredible, however.
“As I got older, I realized good sex is when you really have something between the two of you,” Blackburn says. “It’s not just a body. The more I’ve realized that, the more able I am to be settled in my sexuality.”
“I’m freer in my sexuality now. I’m very sexual; it’s a beautiful aspect of life.”
Playboy’s “Gender & Sexuality” issue hits newsstands next week.
Related: This TV heartthrob just came out as bisexual, says “I want to feel free”
Donston
His honesty is somewhat refreshing. However, like too much of the “bi movement”, a lot of his perspective is focused on sociology and “straight world” approval. It’s funny how people who date their same gender and then move on to dating their opposite cis gender are rarely obsessed with making sure people know that their feelings for their same gender were authentic and that they truly share a bond with their gender. And yet, people who move on to dating their same gender are often obsessed with reminding people that they’re not homo and can experience sexual passions, love, relationship contentment beyond a single gender. It’s just too social politicking instead of just living your life, understanding yourself and trying to find happiness. On another note, sex with women is more convenient and straightforward.
Cam
When George Michael first came out he was adamant saying to all his fans. “Those love songs I wrote were about WOMEN!”
Donston
And then he later claimed that he never really was in love with a woman and he was just confused about his feelings.
Too much of the “queer agenda” is about sociological maneuvering. There’s nothing wrong with being completely honest about where you are on the spectrum, your fluidity, your nuances, etc. However, you almost never hear dudes who dated men but start dating women constantly talking about how much they still love men, how much they had real feelings for men, how much they had passion for men, how great the sex was and so on. So, when guys who start dating dudes go down that route it often just comes off as desperate, slightly internalized homophobic and like you’re wanting to hold on to a sociological safety net. If the focus was more on honesty, self-truth, and being whoever you really want to be with, instead of identity pushing and sociological/ego games we’d have a much greater overall understanding of each other and each other’s struggles. More people would be legit honest. And there’d be far less division.
Some of the issues do lie with a certain percentage of gay-identifying folks wanting to force others to “pick a side” or to grab an identity and stick with it. And a lot of the issue lies with a percentage of the “queer community” in general who’s obsessed with identity, definitions and categories. However, astute individuals know that perhaps maybe most people who indulge same-sex relationships are not entirely, completely inherently homosexual and have been forever. This need to “prove” something and play social politics with your love and sex life is tiresome.
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Cam
“Throughout his teens and early 20s, Blackburn says he only ever dated women, though he occasionally “experimented” with men.”
Translation: He had girlfriends and f*cked around on them.
Donston
I don’t like making those types of assumptions. He could have hooked up with dudes in between relationships or may have had “open” relationships, which is borderline standard in the entertainment industry. The dude did pretty much admit that he stuck with dating women primarily because it was socially easier, less messy sex wise and because he was afraid of emotionally connecting with a guy (there were probably career reasons as well). Ultimately, he has his dimensions, convolutions and struggles. As do most of us to whatever degree. And that needs to be respected. So, making big assumptions and shaming him isn’t helpful. I’m just not a fan of the self-appointed victimizing because some people told him to “pick a side” and the playing of sociological games. That’s the stuff that’s most exhausting and rings most hollow when it comes to the “bi pride” community. At least most fluid/queer/pan/I don’t believe in labels identifying people tend to avoid that stuff.
ingyaom
Is anyone else wondering what he meant by “Certain things are much easier with women, just anatomically”? Like when 2 tops try to have sex, or what?