Pro baseball player Bryan Ruby has opened up about returning to his sport after very publicly coming out as gay last year, and the overwhelmingly positive response from his teammates.
Ruby came out in an interview with USA Today in September, and though he’d played in some games afterwards to close out the season, “a lot has changed over the past 10 months.”
In a first-person post on Outsports, Ruby said, “A quick scroll through my social media shows a whole lot of rainbow, and as they say: once you’re ‘out’, there’s no going back ‘in’ (the closet).”
He’d also since co-founded Proud To Be In Baseball, an advocacy and support group working to promote LGBTQ inclusion in the sport, and gone on a national tour to support the cause.
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Related: Baseball player Solomon Bates comes out as gay
For these reasons, Ruby was “pretty nervous” to rejoin the team — especially in the locker room.
“Walking back into the hyper-masculine world of the locker room last month, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about being treated differently by my teammates this season,” he said. “My guard was up as I stood at my locker, changing with the rest of the guys before my first practice back with the squad.”
As he tried to maintain a low profile, a starting pitcher turned and asked a surprisingly normal question: “So Ruby, how’s your boyfriend doing?”
He answered the question, and the fellow player started talking about his own girlfriend.
Related: Maybelle Blair, baseball player who inspired ‘A League of Their Own,’ comes out at 95
“That was something I never, ever thought could be possible to talk about so nonchalantly in the locker room,” Ruby said. “Now I know for the first time how good it feels to have a workplace conversation in which you don’t have to lie about your personal life. I felt so much validation in that moment. It was a gigantic relief.”
A few days later, another interaction surprised him even more. A fellow player who’d started a side hustle officiating weddings approached him and said, “Ruby! I need you to tell me EVERYTHING you know about gay weddings!”
The player was hoping to break into the gay wedding market.
“The moral of this story is simple, yet it is one that deserves repeating until there has been an out player on every single baseball team at every level of the game,” Ruby concluded. “There really is nothing more meaningful in a queer athlete’s journey than receiving the support of one’s teammates. It can be everything from life-saving to career-making.”
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Donston
I can imagine how suppressive that type of environment can be for queers and how it can trigger a lot of insecurities. Hyper masculinity and using women as social and psychological fodder/commodities are especially high when you have a bunch of arrogant, sports playing, straight-presenting men grouped up.
Thad
I was at the Phillies’ Pride Night this season. It’s a popular event. Promotional tickets including the Pride-themed giveaway (sponsored by Giant Food Stores!) sold out.
Wishing success to Proud To Be In Baseball; hope to see you at the Vault next season.
Cam
Good for him for coming out in the face of that and good for the people in the sport offering him support!
seven5tx
This is cool. I can imagine how refreshing it was for him to just get on with it.
Rikki Roze
Buy me some popcorn and cracker jacks…
RyanMBecker
Looks like Conchita Wurst, the drag winner of Eurovision…
Yooper
It is wonderful to see the acceptance, who would have thought 50, 40, 20, 10 years ago. Still issues, I understand, though we have to embrace every step forward.
Rock Star
It’a way past time to let prejudice go on and off the diamond. If some don’t like it as a few of the TB Rays players and others, well it’s your loss and tough titties on you.
I don’t really mind straight guys as long as they act gay at the plate.
And god bless Glenn Burke.
humble charlie
hyper-masculinity – the new disease to cancel
Inspector 57
What a wonderfully reinforcing experience for Mr. Ruby. Reinforcing for us, too: within just the past few years, we have seen so many players in major league sports come out as gay. Some of the results haven’t been great; others have been wonderful. Whatever the balance, the first steps have been taken. Being a gay athlete is going to become pretty much a “meh” thing in the not-too-distant future.
Thank you, Bryan Ruby — and best wishes for happiness and much success in your career!
Jer
I had a grandson in high school a couple of years ago. I asked him how being gay impacted lives. He said it was about as big a deal as being left-handed or having red hair.
mateo
The best thing about this is that it helps to dispel the (apparently) popular belief that coming out in any pro sport involves almost violent repercussions from one’s fellow teammates–plus really awkward locker room scenes. The guy is valued by his teammates because he’s a good player and he’ll help them win games. That’s all that should really matter to them, and they’re proving that this is the case. The brouhaha is coming from outside.
Invader7
” Take me OUT to the ball game …” I couldn’t resist… Congrats to Bryan.. Every closet door that is blown open is PROGRESS. Remember we’re not here to impress or get along with the heteros. We’re here for ourselves. Life IS what you make it…