This just in: Brad Polumbo is not into kink. No ma’am! If it’s kinky, he wants absolutely, positively nothing to do with it!
In a scathing new op-ed published by the Washington Examiner that somehow manages to be both self-righteous and self-loathing at once, Polumbo accuses anyone who attended last weekend’s Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend in Washington, D.C. of “giving us all a bad name and annihilating what progress we’ve made.”
“Homosexuals were wrongly maligned for centuries as perverts and deviants,” Polumbo writes. “Modern left-wing gay people seem determined to keep up the public displays of debauchery that keep this stereotype alive.”
She seems nice.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Polumbo, who says his idea of a fun night out is going to a “fancy Mexican joint” with his boyfriend and then watching Game of Thrones, goes on to say that gay kinksters “flout their deviancy in public” and “flaunt perversion” while giving credence to “bad faulty stereotypes.”
As for Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend, in general, Polumbo calls that whole thing “bizarre,” “disgusting,” and “eminently harmful to gay progress and acceptance.”
“It’s an affront to gay acceptance, the fight for which was actually rooted in an appeal to family values and bourgeois norms,” he rages. “The fight for gay marriage in the court of public opinion was, in part, won through the sentiment that gay people should have the same right to marry and be miserable as everybody else.”
We think that’s supposed to be a joke, but with this guy it’s hard to tell.
Polumbo, whose favorite flavor of ice cream is no doubt vanilla, believes that progress is made “by showing people that real-life gay people tend to be as boring and domestic as anyone else” and not by wearing leather jock straps in public.
He concludes his rant with one final sweeping generalization about his peers: by accusing anyone who attended the Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend of seeking to “exploit society’s growing tolerance by mixing in their affinity for debauchery with the never-ending LGBTQIA2+ (and so on it grows …) acronym and loosely defined ‘community.'”
“The last way to remedy the fact that some segments of society still think our lifestyles are immoral is to flaunt perversion proudly and conflate it with all gay people.”
Here’s hoping nobody conflates all gay people with this guy.
Related: Who, me?! 27 telltale signs you might be a “white gay”
toronto
Ok, this guy hates himself.
buttbooty
unfortunately homophobia is rife in the homosexual community… this guy is a good example
TomG
I presume that the leather scene is okay by him for the straight community?
Cato
Sweetiepie, MALW has been around since 1977, so I’m pretty sure it’s older than you. That’s the year before Harvey Milk was assassinated in case you’re keeping track. Which means pretty much every success of the modern LGBT movement took place while all these scary men in leather were getting together each year to flaunt their debauchery.
We all can tell you’re craving a good spanking, so why don’t you take your Taco Bell Nachos Grande, head home and tuck in for the night for a little slap and tickle with your boyfriend — because the rest of us would like to enjoy our lives without having to see your bitter mug smirking at us.
gran77
Well said, guys! This guy needs a good night out with us… maybe in the sling? Are we to believe this guy only enjoys “missionary-style”?? (His poor boyfriend!)
Seriously, not wanting to shame this sissy; but, girl, try a lil’ Baskin Robbins! You might, ahem… open up.
xoxo
Kheft
There is a rational basis for foregoing leather. If you’ve become vegan and you cease to enjoy animal based products. In my 20s I practically lived in my leathers so have the good sense not to berate those who haven’t adapted their thinking. Don’t see this dude talking about compassion, animal rights, or sexy alternatives though. Just a sad individual who can’t manage his issues. The question has got to be why he was granted a forum to spew his hate in the first place.
Heywood Jablowme
Hey, cows are vegan and they wear leather.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Someone needing a few moments in a swing…. ?
I can somewhat understand what he is trying to say, but there is a huge hetrosexual fetish community also
RandomGuy
To be fair a lot of leather guys are kinda gross.
ShiningSex
TO BE FAIR, YOU’RE A MORON
Den
To be actually fair, most people are “kinda gross” if your standards are based on porn. Leather folks are no more or less gross than the general population of gay men in terms of looks and bodies, they just share a leather (or related) fetish.
Willing to bet you’d be “kinda gross” in some people’s eyes.
coloboyz
If you look at this guy’s twitter feed, he also has a real problem with Taylor Swift and AOC, sprinkled with comments about “leftists” and “liberal media”…..it’s going to take a lot more than a sling for that tight ass….
Den
The Washington Examiner is a right wing rag. Sort of the print version of FOX news.
rustyiam
Who doesn’t have a problem with AOC?
Den
People not easily manipulated by right wing lies and propaganda don’t have problems with her, or at least have criticisms based on her actual words and actions rather than the labels given to her with no basis in reality.
TheAbsoluteTRUTH
Who doesn’t have a problem with that imbecile AOC she’s denser than maxine waters and thats incredibly difficult to accomplish but she’s done it in record time.
Kangol2
The corrupt, treasonous, anti=Semite imbecile-in-chief in the White House Drumpf makes AOC looks like a Rhodes Scholar!
ShiningSex
WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A COMMUNITY, BUT DUMBASSES LIKE THAT WRITER IS THE REASON THERE IS RACISM IN OUR COMMUNITY, TRANSPHOBIA, AND THINK DRAG QUEENS ARE A DISGRACE. ANYONE WHO THINKS LIKE THAT IDIOT NEED TO REALIZE WHO WERE THE ONES WHO WERE THE FIRST TO STAND UP AND SAY “I’M GAY, SO WHAT”. IT WAS THE DRAG QUEENS AND LEATHER MEN. IT WAS THE LESBIANS WHO CARED FOR MEN DYING OF AIDS.
THAT FOOL NEEDS A LESSON ON WHO THE SELF-LOATHING, EMBARRASSMENT OF OUR COMMUNITY REALLY ARE.
lovethyneighbor
Oh, for goodness sake, Brad Polumbo — pull the stick out of your uptight ass. I have no desire to be a part of the leather community in terms of showing off my stuff; however, these men have been working for LGBTQ+ equality for all their lives.
I say more power to them if they feel comfortable showing their assets because Playboy, Hustler, and Playgirl magazines are just a few publications that show off the human form in all manner. The only people, who are most likely to have a problem with these guys, is someone like you. Perhaps the self-loathing comes from within you, which is always something I look at when I make judgements such as the one you have made.
Bottom line: If the heterosexuals can pose nude for magazines and be comfortable in their skin, then, it should be just as good for the LGBTQ+ community. Chill out, Mr. Polumbo. Hang out and lead your more refrained life with your boyfriend, but remember, you are an individual with your idea of how a relationship should be as do the men, who live in this “debauchery.”
SparkyMICH
You need to let your freak flag fly, sweetheart!
richardNobbs
I don’t know this guy or what his agenda might be but I do think there are certain features of gay male life that are harmful to our brothers. The casual use of meth and speed to the point of being fetishized on porn sites, men shooting up or being shot up before having sex is considered to be HOT by many. Issues of domestic violence that spike around celebration times due to drug and alcohol usage (not unique to gays the LGBT community but much more invisible and silent, the casual racism, for decades, dismissed as preference, and finally hookup culture that leaves many gay men feeling alone without community, compassion or love. We say that being gay is not just about sexual license it’s about the right to love who you love. But many gay men (lesbians have a different experience in general) don’t experience a lot of love at all. No one in the str8 world cares about these things and no one is going to, out of love, confront them but other gay men. Again, this guy seems to be overly concerned with what the str8 world thinks of gay people I am not. I lived through a plague and many str8 people turned their backs on us and if you think that can’t happen again you are sadly mistaken. As the old saying goes. Love folks enough to tell them the truth.
Den
1. The issue of drug use is unrelated to the fetish community and is a problem across the board. AND, any sane analysis shows that to a significant degree drug use is directly related to alienation and stress that comes from being marginalized. Look at the groups among whom speed use is most common.
2. All the other issues you mention can be directly related to the external stresses gay people have faced and still face. If you still have to worry, even a little bit, when you hold a date’s hand or your partner’s hand or give them the same kind of chaste kiss that heterosexuals exchange everywhere all the time: what the results of that PDA might be in terms of your enjoyment of your day, or even your physical safety: How can you expect to have healthy relationships, social groups or self esteem? If, as you still do in many states, you have to worry about losing your job or home over who and how you love, how can that not be expected to color the nature of your relationships?
Do not blame that on people who choose to wear leather, they are no more damaging to society than women who choose to parade around in yoga pants (at best acceptable, at worst laughable). Especially as that same fetish is shared by straight folks, and nobody ever claims it destroys the heterosexual community. More straight folks engage in what is designated legally (or used to be) as sodomy than there ARE gay folks. And almost nobody rails against that.
batesmotel
What about women? There are women that are into leather. There are straight men into leather. What about rock stars? I’ve seen Lenny Kravitz, Shania Twain, and Alanis Morissette all wearing leather on stage. Deviants as well? Or are there some provisions he’s allowing. lol
plazaro1
He needs to try it, just a tad. It doesn’t have to be about being beaten to a pulp, strangled, or murdered during a sexual act. Due to really horrible crimes a lot of people have this distorted view and I don’t blame them. That is a whole different story, he has the whole scene mixed up, thanks in part by tragic events, film and media that have exploited this as if all gay men are this and that.
Hussain-TheCanadian
I want to thank this gremlin for bringing this event to my attention, I’m putting it on my “to do” list.
redboy70
His Grindr profile as a fisting bottom will be revealed in 3… 2… 1…
arbynb8
You know the answer. This person is a publicity seeker. We are forbidden from such disparagement. Radical fairies often make me woosy and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence turn me off but it’s a package.
Mattster
You are of course free to feel what you want about the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, but consider their long history of charitable work and confronting homophobia/drag phobia head on and with tremendous wit and humor.
Mockery is a potent weapon for deflating oppressive systems and individuals, and the Sisters use it well.
I’m not into drag myself, If I had my way there’d be a chapter in every city and town, as a relief from boredom if nothing else. Life would be much duller without sassy drag queens and leather folks.
People have been shrieking this “they’re setting our community back!!” nonsense for many years. Guess what, we’ve been moving ahead, no thanks to this guy’s sad (and unoriginal) attempts to enforce conformity.
What sort of freedom is the struggle FOR if it only allows us to act like our oppressors?
Cam
Notice with guys like Polumbo that it’s never the fault of the bigots, it’s the fault of some group of LGBT people trying to live their lives.
Bulovaboy
It’s amazing how much they all want their rights but they still needs so much attention and babying. I’m just sick of everything, women taking over the world, men becoming women and everyone just wants to get laid. No values or morals anymore. Doomed I tell ya, doomed.
Peace.
Cam
Anti-LGBT troll alert
breal
I’m bothered by publications catering to religious activists, russophiles and climate deniers and the people eager to publish in them.
Polumbo puts dick in his mouth, just saying….
jsmu
Another pitiful little Log Cabinette bitter as h*ll because even when he hogs the sling no one will f*ck his toxic twink *ss. Shades of Sullyboy ‘MILKY LOADS’ Andrew Sullivan! By the way, thanks QUEERTY for YOUR IMBECILIC CENSORSHIP OF WORDS LIKE H E DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS. REALLLY?????
Barefootboyz
As a gay Marine Vet Atheist I find you to be a disgrace to the gay community. Thank goodness I am old enough to not have to worry about if you are the future of our community because you are not. My history was fighting for everyone’s rights, losing too many to count to Aids and even becoming included in a book on Gays in the Military. Look it up it’s on Amazon. You are just sad and uneducated. I truly worry for people like you who have no reference to our communities history. Just your ignorant self loathing writings.
Prax07
I see leather guys as just goofy. The gear looks stupid, the language is dumb…like I’d ever refer to someone sexually as Sir or Master. I just block guys that have pics of themselves in a harness or whatever. So easy to just block and move on.
Den
I don’t know, some guys can pull the look off and look really good in chaps or a vest.
But the rest of it (the event pins and patches, the leather hot pants, police uniforms, kilts and so on) and a lot of the people remind me of a meeting of the Shriners or Elks.
cliche guevara
He sounds like the guys bending over backward to defend Mayo Pete’s campaign for canceling an event due to a dancing pole….. Can’t have gay people associated with the types of behavior that …… well ummm … that straight people also do….. clutches pearls and gaps.
ducdebrabant
I personally think those bar owners are just whoring for publicity. The committee that booked them offered to pay them the full fee, even after cancellation, and they refused. The Buttigieg campaign doesn’t have to court the gay community by posing Chasten in front of stripper poles, if that’s not the sort of place he would ordinarily go to. He is not defined by the bar scene, and need not define himself by it to please ME.
kawaiibentobox
Ooooooh she’s PRESSSSSSSED over these leather boys just living their best lives
Cam
LOL!!!!!
“Patrick Sterart in “Jeffrey”” “Oooooo, get her!”
JarredH
Polumbo is your typical conservative gay man who is happy to shit all over other queer people as long as he gets to sit at the oppressors’ table.
Den
You give Log Cabin types too much credit. They are happy even if they only get to sit on the floor next to the table…or under it.
charlieeod74
Two thumbs up!
goofyjoemoore
The same divide has been there as long as we have. Think Mattachine society vs. Gay Liberation Front, etc. in the 70s. As long as there have been demonstrations, there have been self-hating gays telling everyone else how to “be” gay.
On the same token, he’s allowed to be gay the way he wants, without any of us telling him he’s wrong. Which I’m pretty sure no one has.
dhmonarch89
right- there’s nothing perverse or deviant about Game of Thrones- incest, mass murder- all very righteous.
Prax07
I do see the author’s point though, and don’t see it at all as self-loathing. As soon as anybody disagrees with something it’s automatically self-loathing? Uh why?
I refuse to go to pride events because I too think it’s inappropriate for guys to be walking around in public in jock straps, and I’m sure I’ll be told I’m self-loathing because I don’t agree with it. But yeah, it is setting us back when people look at it and say we’re all deviants because of it.
Nick Starr-Street
Amen!
JDean
not being into degenerate skanks who drink stranger’s piss is not self-loathing, it’s called having standards
ducdebrabant
I feel fairly safe in saying nobody here cares what you personally are “into.” It’s what you try to prohibit others from doing, and insult them for, that manifests your own narrow-mindedness and projection.
AL
Would not expect a self absorbed snowflake to have any knowledge of the history or the meanings…
Nick Starr-Street
You do know that the term snowflake refers to liberals right? SMH
ducdebrabant
The term snowflake refers to somebody who’s a snowflake, right OR left. For example, that pot-bellied pig of Republican turd who claims his Constitutional rights are being violated if he can’t stroll around privately owned shopping malls all weekend with a military calibre penis extender slung over his shoulder, to intimidate the men, awe the women, and terrify the children. Or that his religious freedom is violated when his town issues a parade permit to a gay organization on Pride Day.
joeboyle49
HEY MR WRITER!
EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE KINK THEN BUTT OUT!! KINK IS INTERESTING AND DIFFERENT. IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO ACCEPT KINK AND I LOVED IT ONCE I GOT INTO IT. GOING TO A MEXICAN RESTAURANT ISN’
T KINK ITS SPICY!! SPICY ISN’T KINK!! BEING IN LEATHER AND DOING KINKY STUFF MAKES ME HORNY!!
Oso Coqui
Okay this guy sounds like he couldn’t handle salt & pepper, it just might be too much for him. Just never knew that vanilla was too spicy for bland. Wait until he finds out what straight people do… he just might seal himself into a vault.
Dick Mayhem
To be honest, I don’t get the Leather Lifestyle AT ALL.
Fortunately I am not a freaking jerk and don’t try to pathologize it or condemn it.
FFS, just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make it wrong.
GayVeteranOfcr
I served in the DC area for years.
There were then a dozen “leather/levy” clubs in the tri-state area.
We enjoyed gay “leather bars”.
There were a lot of military men.
A psychologist explained that gays enjoyed a spectrum of activities.
Drag was one, and attracted more straight men and their girlfriends than gay men to perform in drag.
He explained that “drag” encompassed different forms of dress and activities.
Leather was one. I enjoyed those activities, including public displays, seminars, parties.
I adopted a pseudonym “Eero Kivi” due to being active military to “stay in the closet” with respect to being military. Today, that’s not the same. I wrote up my exploits as a favor to friends who thought I should, on Amazon.
Those leather/levy clubs created a gay charity that supported the local communities.
Leather loving men served shutins, PWA, people needing home meals delivered.
I rode a motorcycle, as did many in the scene.
My shrink friend said it best: your dignity is your own, and you don’t need to conform to anyone else’s personal views. If you want your senior partner to show you off in a flogging demo, that’s your choice, and those who don’t like it can stay away and have their own lives as they see it, but they shouldn’t think they are superior to others. Gays come in all different ways. No pun.
CityguyUSA
Certainly the most posts I’ve seen.
Fetish on!
But what’s with the constant need for public attention? It seems to me that what he’s trying to say is that gay men are their own worst enemies by feeling the need to bring those fetishes into the public eye on Main St. It only inflames people against us.
Cam
Come back and talk to me when bachelorette parties and screaming at sports bars stops. Then you can complain about how it’s “The Gays” trying to get attention.
ducdebrabant
If he thinks gay people are their own worst enemies, I disagree, but I must say he’s doing his own bit to prove it.
Prax07
Projecting much? No one here has said they’re better than. It’s what gets you off in private, and it should be kept private. How is doing shit like Folsom, out on the street, helping anyone? It’s just doing it for shock value. You want to dress like a goofball in a harness and leather jockstrap, you do you boo, but society doesn’t need to see it in public. Like I said, keep it where it belongs, in your bedroom and in sex clubs. We as a civilization do not need to see shit like that in public.
desmond94114
Actually rioting along with activism brought our community forward. Compton Cafeteria Riots, Stonewall, the death of Harvey Milk. It was only when we demanded equality (human equality — not a gay thing), did anything significant happen. Let’s not forget AIDS which brought about humanity in the bleak years of a major health crisis. We found compassion and acceptance through loss from both sides. From a deviant side, we’ve been expressing our perversions since the 60s by wearing leather and riding motorcycles (at that time to blend in more with hetero society). Yeah, deviance has been on the books and in the spot light well over 50 years.
Someone needs to do their gay homework.
ducdebrabant
It was the “freaks,” the gay people this guy doesn’t approve of, who won him his civil rights back in the day when people like himself were DEEP in the closet. They weren’t just assimilating in the sense of imitating straight institutions, they were marrying, having kids, and cheating on their wives in truck stop mensrooms. Now they sit atop the stature activists won for them in order to denounce activists, or any gay people who use their freedom in any way these cretins don’t approve of. We fought for their right to be assholes, and they are turning it against us. WE never made any distinction. If you wanted to be gay, monogamous, go to the Baptist Church, we said go for it. Now these people are collaborating in our oppression. And they believe homophobes will love them for it. Even worse, this “writer” doesn’t even know the difference between the words “flaunt” and “flout,” and uses them interchangeably. Gays have worked hard to gain a reputation for literacy. He is giving us a bad name.
mykelb
Hear! Hear! Amen and all that rot! I hope he realizes that being an asshole can only get one so far in life.
ducdebrabant
He claims that our “community” [his quotes] is too loosely-defined. I actually think that’s one of the nice things about it. We let the larger society define us, to a great extent. If they cast us out, we are fellow outcasts. If they (or he) call us deviants, we are fellow deviants. But once we become a community, we stay one. Straights who decide to pick us off piecemeal by supporting the right of heteroconforming gays to acceptance do not get to enlist that segment in a fight against drag or trans people, or fetish communities. That’s just picking the gay movement apart, and once we are disunited, they will will eventually come for the Brad Polumbos, count on it.
Nick Starr-Street
I cannot agree with Brad Polumbo more. This type of disgusting perverted displays is why I no longer call myself gay nor want to be associated with that debaucherous type of behavior.
I applaud Brad!!!
mykelb
No one said you had to participate in it, hater. You and he are just like the idiot white nationalist evangelicals trying to force others into your box.
ducdebrabant
That’s an idea! I no longer call myself naked, when I walk down mainstreet. I call myself Emperor, in fact, and you’d better bow down to me.
scotshot
Good. Now we won’t have to put up with ***** like you putting on your perverted display.
You have the right to have your voice heard without censorship. Keep in mind that no one gives a shit about your opinion.
Gary Q VV
We “real men” have been around since the beginning of times. So, is deviant behavior any behavior that is contrary to the dominant norms of society? Gnaw on this awhile to see if you come-up with an answer.
mykelb
Put Dan Savage on the case. He’ll know how to read this narrow minded asshole.
Josh447
I think this guy lives under the delusion that if we all looked and acted like prepies, then the neighboring Evangs who hate and judge us would somehow start delivering apple pie to our doorsteps.
NOT.
They love to judge, they do it everywhere. It’s in their religion, it’s in their blood. They hate guys kissing and having sex. So if this guy is looking to win with an even bigger delusion, he’d have to promote no more sex for gays. Of course he’d be cutting off his nose to spite his face which he would never do. The bottom line is, he’s not self loathing, he just thinks thru rose colored glasses.
One great thing about all the facets of gay life, is that it gives everyone a chance to tame their judgemental demons, a thing that gives rise to more peace of mind and henceforth more peace on earth. In this instance you don’t change the world, you change your mind about the world. More acceptance less judgement. He learned to be judgmental and he can unlearn it. That’s the sane answer to this kid’s quagmire of rose colored delusion.
Yet to his defense, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t need to take a strong inventory about their own negatively impactful judgements.
LilMesican
There was a time when I was younger that I was all into everything. Then when I sobered-up I was so uptight. Everything was offensive. Now, I’m 49, been sober for 12 years, in a relationship for 7. My kinky side wants to pop up.
I think, as Gay men, we go through stages.
JClark
Exactly! And the older you get, the more perspective you get.
scotty
fags like him are what gives us bad names too.
woodroad34
So, I guess this fellow hasn’t heard about straight S&M parties or kink events. Does he throw the same shade at them?
ScottOnEarth
“We think that’s supposed to be a joke, but with this guy it’s hard to tell.” LOL!! Cute line. This poor guy doesn’t really know what the word “acceptance” means if he’s ordering gay men to become the prudish image that straight people want to see. F U, sir. The entire point is live and let live…and I really think he’s jealous that he could never look as good in a harness and briefs as the buys in the photos above. It’s actually self-hating queens like him who make it harder for the rest of us. Just be yourself, bitch, and let others say what they will.
radiooutmike
He sounds like those well-meaning straight people who you know.
You know the ones, the ones who say, “Gay marriage is real; so why don’t they stop with the crazy stuff…?”
Those people I can forgive. Him? No.
JClark
I used to, kind of, agree with this guy when I was in my twenties and early thirties, but I don’t think I was quit as judgy. Then I dipped my toe into the leather scene for a decade or two, and enjoyed it. Most hardcore leather guys would probably call me a dilettante, but I spent a lot of money on leather gear and went to Folsom and other leather events and had a good time. By my mid-50s, I was mostly over the scene, and at 60 years old, I’ve been selling most of my leather gear on consignment. (There’s definitely a market because I’m getting more money than I ever thought I would for my old stuff.) I have no judgments about the leather scene, it’s just not my thing anymore.
Anyhoo, the point of my story is that I think an aspect of maturing is letting people be who they want to be and do what they want to do, so long as no one is getting harmed. I’m not sure how old Brad Polumbo is (or who he is, much less why anyone would care what he thinks), but he has that tiresome moral righteousness that most of us grow out of at some point. He certainly doesn’t seem to have the perspective that comes with age.
nitejonboy
Well he does have a point halfway…straight people can have perversions all day long and no one bats an eye, but we put on a leather vest or a nipple ring in public and all of a sudden were deviants and hurting the movement..I’m not the biggest fan of kink and leather and all that, but we hardly corner the market on kink,and it’s not fair that our debaucheries are always center stage when people think of us.
jaack
Should we dress in a cassock and collar and look like clergy? Would that give us a better name? Get over it, Brad we are all children of the rainbow. We are in every profession, age, size, and color, etc. Stop hating yourself & try something a little wild, maybe some lube and a toy.