Mid-hookup mishaps and misadventures aren’t just the stuff of puerile comedy movies. Plenty of dudes have had their sexy times go sideways in hilarious ways, as revealed on a Reddit thread titled “What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you while having sex?”
Related: Gay guys reveal the weirdest, wildest things they’ve done with a hookup
The original poster of the thread described going down on a guy on a secluded road in the middle of the night, only to be interrupted by the sound of a bicycle bell at, ahem, the most climactic moment. “I lock eyes with the delivery guy, mortified,” he writes. “I swear he looked as if his life had changed, but he cycled on ahead, stunned.”
Below are some other greatest hits from the thread. Read ‘em and cringe!
The Idiot Dog
“I have a double closet in my bedroom. One time while my husband and I were going at it, I looked over and saw that our dog had realized that she could walk in one door, walk out [of] the other, and still be in the bedroom! She did this no less than 10 times before I finally told my husband we needed to change positions and face away from the closet. It’s hard to be sexy when your idiot dog has made the discovery of her lifetime.”
The Dutch Oven
“When I was just about to climax, I blurted out, ‘Oh, hold on a second,’ and ripped a huge fart. We were half covered by the duvet, so I kind of Dutch-ovened both of us right before I came. We wouldn’t stop laughing after that.”
The Careless Whisper
“My boyfriend and I were hanging out in his room while some music was on. We were just starting to get into things when he leaned in for a kiss, the last song ended, and [the] George Michael ‘Careless Whisper’ cheesy-sexy sax intro started. We both looked at each other and started to giggle uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of the situation!”
Related: Men share the worst and weirdest things they’ve been called in bed
“My boyfriend started saying ‘Pikachu’ in a Pikachu voice seductively into my ear out of nowhere one time. I had to stop and laugh.”
The Library Puppy
“It was like 1:30 on a Thursday night, close to the start of term, and me and my date were heading back to his [place]. We were outside the university library and I had a condom packet between my teeth and was kneeling down, whimpering like a puppy. A woman comes out the library — I don’t hear her but she would have seen everything — and I’m still on my knees when our eyes meet. I just jumped up and tried to do the best to hide my face, but before I did I swear I saw her grin. My date just found it all hilarious.”
“I’m lazy and have a clapper so I don’t have to get out of bed to shut off my lights. One time while giving it good, the sound of my hips and balls slapping against his ass ended up turning the lights off. We cracked up laughing [and] clapped the lights back on. It happened again haha. So the clapper got retired after that.”
You funny silly boys!
My ex told me that he recently hooked up with a guy who is completely deaf at this guy’s place. Well the guy was moaning really loud and a neighbor started to bang on the wall to be more quiet. My ex was mortified since the guy had no clue what was happening but didn’t miss a beat.
Back in the day, 1983. when my then New partner got our first apartment, we had a 8 millimeter Projector. before VHS and all. well we lived on the second floor of the apartment building and our bedroom was in the back so we used the wall with a sheet as a screen for our Gay Videos to watch while having sex. We thought everything was fine, until a neighbor left a Note on the door for us to please close the curtains because they not only saw the videos on the wall but us going at it. We moved after that when we found out no one stayed long in that apartment because it really was Haunted. “
Interesting, tell us stories of your experiences. And what made you finally want to move out?
I was once getting it on with a guy at night, under a full moon, on a blanket in a secluded, wooded area of a park. A skunk wandered in, and was so close he was actually ON the blanket. We both froze, remained as still as possible, barely breathing, and the skunk eventually moved on.
Never mind the skunk, what about the mosquitos, gnats, and other assorted unsects?
I moved into an old 19th century warehouse in the business section of town. My bed was right under the windows and there were no curtains or anything on them as they were floor to 15′ ceiling. Well, my boyfriend and I liked to do it in the early morning and one morning we realized the office workers across the street from us were standing in their window watching us go to town. Man. they started early.
One on myself. The movie “Young Frankenstein” had been out for a bit and I thought the scene when Madelyn Kahn broke into song “Oh Sweet Mystery of Life at last I’ve found you” after the Frankenstein monster made love to her was hysterical. So first time to be in bed with this guy and after we got done I sang that part. He had not seen the movie and I had to explain why I was singing. Never saw him again and never did that again
When I was a teen I sixty nined with my boyfriend and we both covered each other’s nether regions with maple syrup and chowed down. Well, after a minute or two, our faces were stuck in each other’s bushes. It was painful to separate.
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