Sex. It can be a lot of fun. It can also be suuuuper awkward. Especially when things get verbal.
A new Reddit thread asks gay men: What are the worst/funniest things you’ve been called in the middle of sex? The responses range from not-that-surprising to boner-killing.
“During the heat of rough sex my lover called me a ‘Pillow-Biting Pufta’,” one man says. “I instantly lost my erection.”
“Daddy,” another guy shares. “I was 29. It was upsetting at the time, but it was also in the context of the single worst hookup of my life.”
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Interestingly, this happened to another man who was also 29 at the time. “Daddy,” he writes, “and yup 29.”
To which someone else replies: “Errrgh that would kill my boner instantly.”
Related: Straight and bisexual men share their stories about transvestic fetishism
One man recalls an incident with a younger man: “I was in the middle of f*cking him when he started saying ‘I wish I was a woman so I could have your baby.'” he recalls. “Did THAT ever kill the mood!”
Another guy writes: “I have a big bootie and a guy once was topping me and he suddenly slapped my butt and said: ‘Look at the size of those baps! McDonald’s would be jealous!'”
Then there’s this guy who recounts what happened to a friend of his:
A guy he was dating for a few weeks said something so idiotic it ruined not only the sex but the entire prospect of a relationship. He said this bottom dude he was topping in the missionary position looked him right the eyes and started saying, “Aww yeah man! Pack that fudge!” And that was enough for him to lose any interest he had in this guy.
Of course, all this begs the question: What are the worst/weirdest/funniest things you’ve been called during sex? Share in the comments below… but try to keep it PG-13.
DarkZephyr
“Pack that fudge” is pretty darn bad.
nautilusjv
A bottom I brought was jealous of my dog & during sex he kept saying, “I wanna be the puppy…” ICK!
nitejonboy
SLAP MY BAPS, PACK MY FUDGE!!! LMAO!!!
Donston
I honestly see no problem with any of these quotes. I’m sorry. I’m a dirty talker and I expect my partner to be as well. Maybe don’t go completely in the first time you hook up. But are we just supposed to just be moaning? I want full engagement. Yes, call me daddy (despite me only being 30). Tell me what you want done and how hard. Tell me you like it. And yes, I will be calling you a faag. Sorry if that offends you. I will be complimenting the feel and taste of your butthole. Over the top moaning is what actually annoys me, not extreme and perverted verbal.
Donston
I definitely get more “dirty” and “detailed” than that. It’s just a warning that if you’re easily offended during sex (or easily offended in general) I probably wouldn’t be a good match.
Chrisk
I had a black guy one time that wanted the master and slave experience. Everything was punctuated with N this in N that. I did my best but I think I had too much white shame. :-[
1898
“I love you daddy” — this was said to me during our first hookup and having only known each other for a week
timing and context are EVERYTHING. something that might be hot in the context of a long(er) term relationship can be downright horrifying in the context of someone you’ve just met
Donston
I guess it depends on the level of comfort and how much the two parties are feeling each other. My husband was playfully calling me “daddy” within a week of us dating. And he’s several years older than me
Chrisk
At first I read that as hot. Like f#ck me daddy. Not that though. That’s right up there with I want to have your children creepy. Lol
1898
@Donston it wasn’t the daddy part that freaked me out, it was the “i love you” part. who says that to someone they’ve known for only a few days?
MaxTaste
When he called me his wife’s name. Not once. But twice. I was done.
startenout
Honestly, referring to himself as a p*$$boy or anything like that is a boner killer for me.
chris33133
Once I said to someone: “This is boring.” Does that count?
white-queer-african
Whilst topping a OTT queen he screamed “I dare to say, slip your hand in a put some force behind it”.
Instant downer!!!!!!
Chrisk
As a guy who’s entered middle-age I get a lot of daddy this and that now. At first it bothered me. I’m Not your fu#king dad. Now I just go with it. Doesn’t bother me anymore.
Brian-E
I remember being instantly turned off once because my partner laughed during the action. I can’t remember why he did or even if I knew why, but to me laughter is never appropriate during this most intimate time.
Dan
I was called daddy by someone who was at least 10 years older than I was.
LibraOracle
I was having sex with a guy who kept telling me to call him “father” I went along with until he said “yes son, I’m gonna f*ck you good” then I was like “nope, get off me”.
Rjsantt8998
The weirdest thing the guy, who was topping me said, “