Dirty talkers

Say, what?! Men share the worst and weirdest things they’ve been called in bed

Sex. It can be a lot of fun. It can also be suuuuper awkward. Especially when things get verbal.

A new Reddit thread asks gay men: What are the worst/funniest things you’ve been called in the middle of sex? The responses range from not-that-surprising to boner-killing.

“During the heat of rough sex my lover called me a ‘Pillow-Biting Pufta’,” one man says. “I instantly lost my erection.”

“Daddy,” another guy shares. “I was 29. It was upsetting at the time, but it was also in the context of the single worst hookup of my life.”

Interestingly, this happened to another man who was also 29 at the time. “Daddy,” he writes, “and yup 29.”

To which someone else replies: “Errrgh that would kill my boner instantly.”

Related: Straight and bisexual men share their stories about transvestic fetishism

One man recalls an incident with a younger man: “I was in the middle of f*cking him when he started saying ‘I wish I was a woman so I could have your baby.'” he recalls. “Did THAT ever kill the mood!”

Another guy writes: “I have a big bootie and a guy once was topping me and he suddenly slapped my butt and said: ‘Look at the size of those baps! McDonald’s would be jealous!'”

Then there’s this guy who recounts what happened to a friend of his:

A guy he was dating for a few weeks said something so idiotic it ruined not only the sex but the entire prospect of a relationship. He said this bottom dude he was topping in the missionary position looked him right the eyes and started saying, “Aww yeah man! Pack that fudge!” And that was enough for him to lose any interest he had in this guy.

Of course, all this begs the question: What are the worst/weirdest/funniest things you’ve been called during sex? Share in the comments below… but try to keep it PG-13.

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