Happy Endings: Sing When You’re Winning In Court

• We spotted an Abercrombie-clad Jake Gyllenhaal at M Cafe in Hollywood yesterday lunching with a girl we think we can safely assume was only an assistant. Here’s further proof that slender Jake really enjoys regular macrobiotioc meals.

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Robbie Williams takes the Tom Crusie course of action when accused of being a homo. Sue ’em. And win.

• AMERICAblog has unearthed some interesting info about the identities of two Ford officials who met with AFA last week to discuss pulling ads from gay publications. Ford insists its decision was purely a “business” decision. Well we’re insisting our boycott is a “business” decision as well.

• France only allows artificial insemination for straights, so dykes in that country are running for the Belgian border in order to get shot up with man juice.

• Boston College has requested a school-sponsored dance lose its gay theme. We don’t see why. The only students that show up to those things are fags and fag hags anyway.