Hey Mariah! Your Ad Stinks!

We once thought Mariah Carey could do no wrong.

Looking at this ad for her new perfume (“M By Mariah Carey”? Barf.), we realize we’ve been such fools! Mariah Carey can do wrong and you’re looking at it.

Aside from the entirely unnatural pose and impossibly svelte, smooth body, we’re particularly appalled by the scent’s slogan: “An ethereal presence. Captivating like a song.” What does that even mean?!

Does it mean, “This perfume’s cheap and will evaporate quickly, but I’m a musician, so you’ll buy it because you love my music”? Probably. And, you know what, Ms. Carey? We’re not buying it.

In fact, we’re launching an international boycott until you change that slogan to something more palatable.

Be warned, Mariah, your empire will soon fall! Fall! Fall…