POOR MOVES

If You’re Gonna Scissor In A College Library, Don’t Bribe The Cops Not To Tell

When a Columbus State University police officer allegedly caught 18-year-old Jessica Alaine Bass having sex with 22-year-old Nakita Holt in a library study room, Bass reportedly offered the cop $100 not to report them. That got Bass a felony bribery charge tacked onto what would have just been a simple misdemeanor for public indecency.

So next time you wanna bribe a cop, remember to say, “C’mon officer, isn’t there any way we can work this out?” and let them bring up a bribe. Then if they do, you can threaten to report them for corruption and maybe everyone will walk away scot-free… or everything will end in a mistrial.