Gerren Keith Gaynor is gay journalist based in New York. His work has been featured in the New York Times, theGrio, and BET, among others.
In a moving new essay published by The Root, Gaynor writes about the tremendous impact Don Lemon had on him just a few years ago when he was struggling to come out.
Related: Gay grandpa opens up about coming out. And yeah, this is the correct photo.
Gaynor met Lemon at the 2016 Native Song Awards, which celebrations visibility and achievements of gay Black men. Lemon was being honored at the event; Gaynor was there to cover it.
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Gaynor approached Lemon to ask him a few questions about his coming out experience.
He recalls:
“Being out both personally and professionally is liberating. I am a completely emancipated person. I am free,” Lemon told me at the time. “That’s a great place for people to strive to be. I think everyone should be out in all places.”
Lemon came out publicly in his 2011 memoir Transparent. Since then, he has been very encouraging of other public figures to do so as well.
But the exchange didn’t stop there.
Things took a more personal turn when Gaynor mentioned that he himself was having trouble coming out to his family. That’s when Lemon said, “Well, let’s talk about that.”
Gaynor recalls:
Feeling safe in this space of transparency, I gave Lemon the Cliffs Notes. I explained that most of my fear surrounded my relationship with my mom. As a writer and somewhat of a public figure, I was particularly fearful of being out publicly and how it would impact her.
“I think that one day that will turn to pride from your mom, because it’s all just fear. And your mom is a lot stronger than you realize,” Lemon said. “She can probably deal with more than you think. I think you’re probably more afraid than she is.” He also offered that I call him anytime if I wanted to talk more about it.
Gaynor says the exchange is what finally gave him the courage to be honest with his mother. And, as Lemon predicted, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he had feared.
Related: A white nationalist has been sending Don Lemon terrifying death threats
“Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, Lemon was right,” he writes. “My mom’s reaction wasn’t the traumatic meltdown I had conjured up in my head all those years.”
In that moment, I felt as if I had shed so many layers of shame, anxiety and fear that I had been carrying for years. No longer having to wear that cloak of emotions was a cleansing of sorts. By the end of our talk, I took a deep breath, and my mother asked me ever so lovingly, “Do you feel better now?”
“Without question, if it were not for Don Lemon’s push, I would not be in the space that I am in today,” Gaynor says. “I would still be somewhere waiting for the ‘right time’ while my life continued to pass me by.”
“I am forever grateful to him for cultivating a safe space of brotherhood and transparency and encouraging me to step into my truth.”
Related: This emotional coming out scene between a father and his son will have you in tears
Kieran
Someone once described Freedom as meaning you are no longer forced to lie.
Apolodorus
I have been out for almost 19 years. I’m married to a man I love. Recently I was offered a job opportunity of a lifetime. The catch? I had to go back into the closet. Only for a short while, it’s a devils bargain and I don’t ask for pity or approval because I did it with my eyes open and the advice of my husband. The reason I mention it here, and after Kieran’s comment is because I agree with him.
Being back in the closet feels like cutting off a part of myself, I’ve already resigned to the fact that I will have no meaningful friendships here because how are you supposed to do that whole hiding such a gigantic part of your life?
Kangol
Many thanks to Don Lemon for his affirmation of this young black, gay journalist who needed to hear those supportive words. Many thanks also for him being an out and often outspoken black gay man in a position of high visibility, and for being himself, no matter how intense the hatred against him.
mhoffman953
Don Lemon is one of the dumbest people in news. He’s even won awards for being the worst journalist of the year.
He once asked a panel on his show if Malaysian flight 370 could’ve disappeared into a black hole. He then asked a Bill Cosby rape victim, why didn’t didn’t use her teeth when giving him oral while under several drugs administered by Cosby. Then during the Ferguson protests he alleged he was able to go into a gun store and buy an automatic weapon to then allege an AR-15 is an automatic weapon. Those are just to name a few.
o.codone
The guy’s not a journalist at all. He’s an opinionated, agenda driven, political operative who is just a TV talking head. He’s a disgrace.