big reveals

Is Ted Haggard About to Announce He Invented the 0-Calorie Donut?

Ted Haggard, the resurrected church leader (like Jesus!), says he’s making a big old announcement today at 10:30am. Lots of buzz surrounding what it could be, but it’ll have to top his admission of meth use, prostitution, and gay sex to keep our attention. And it’s a big to do: He’s even hired a publicist! Amy Prenner, who runs her own PR outfit, claims to be behind the campaigns for E!’s Playboy shows The Girls Next Door and Kendra, if that’s any indication of what’s to come. (Howard Bragman must be terrible upset he lost out on the job.) This much we know, according to Haggard: “There will be a variety of doughnuts on hand” for the press conference today, “including a no-calorie donut.” Update: It’s a new church. Which you already knew about.

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    He is announcing the beginning of construction of his new glorious church “The Crystal Meth Palace”. Going to be the first (well maybe not) house of worship with a back room……..

  • Cam

    He’s figured out how to cure George Rekers?

  • Jimmi

    Tired old thing.

  • christopher di spirito

    He’s going announce he’s found a cure of homosexuality. It’s in pill form and Medicare and Medicaid will cover it.

    Of course, no word on what will happen to those of us who don’t want to be “cured” of our love of cock.

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