If you’ve ever used Grindr as a way to secure overnight housing, then this story for you. And if you’re not homeless, then this story is also for you.
I think I first saw an ad for Misterb&b on either PornHub or the subway. I don’t recall which, I just remember that it billed itself as a gay Airbnb — a site that paired LGBTQ travelers with LGBTQ hosts. It seemed like a great way to ensure that my trip would be homophobe-free. Thus, when I planned a Eurotrip for August 2019 to visit my cousin and a good friend from college, I turned to Misterb&b to ensure that I would only sleep inside gay men… ‘s homes.
While I did not view Misterb&b as a sex app, I did pick my hosts based on how hot they were. After all, I was a 30-year-old man in my sexual prime on my first trip to Europe, and I needed something to be sexually attracted to as I used common spaces. Likewise, I assumed that my potential hosts were screening me as well. I imagined that they were deciding whether to give me food, water and shelter based on how symmetrical my face was. When I saw guests with five-star reviews, I figured that those guests had put out.
And then I got to Barcelona and realized I’d made a huge mistake.
Pablo (not his real name) was very kind and not-bad-looking, and had angular features and a toothy grin, and I appreciated his prickly charm; however, I was exhausted from my day of travel, and I needed to fall asleep without someone inside me. Thus, when Pablo finished his spiel about Barcelona’s public transportation system, I prepared myself for a polite parting.
I said the three simple sentences in Spanish that I could speak without difficulty — “What is your job?” “Do you like it?” “Can we speak in English now?” — and made my way for my bedroom. But apparently, the inability to speak Spanish is an aphrodisiac for Pablo, because he began making out with me.
Being the polite person that I am, I proceeded to make out with him in return; however, I was also still tired, and remembered that my finger hurt from when I had banged it into a wall that morning, shooting blood all over a five-year-old child’s face. I decided to tell him this. The mood was killed and I went to bed.
As I was dozing off, I couldn’t help but wonder: Did I just commit a faux pas? Had it been an unspoken understanding that I was supposed to blow my Misterb&b host? Was he going to give me zero stars now?
I swore to myself that I would never use Misterb&b again, and resigned to contact the service. I wanted to lash out at them for not having a rule telling hosts to avoid making out with guests if guests were tired. Working myself into a frenzy, I even began to imagine that Misterb&b was run by straight people who just assumed gays wanted to hook up with each other all the time, whether or not they were tired. I was furious. In fact, I was still tired when I got to Paris and banged my Misterb&b host.
Pierre (also not his real name) was cute, funny, insightful, and had danced for ten years with Mia Frye, the woman who invented the Macarena dance. He took me on a tour of Montmartre, and translated when an old French woman told me that my face was too soft and needed to be punched. (“Merci,” I responded, thinking she was telling me I was cute.) Pierre was also there when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time; he was there when I heard “La Vie En Rose” on an accordion for the first time. He told me that Taylor Swift was evil. We shared cheese.
It was at this point that I began to wonder if Misterb&b was not just a hook up app, but an escort service. Did Pierre really want to hang out with me? Or was he just doing this because I paid him $50? Should he have charged more?
When we made out later, I was so worried that Pierre was an escort that I asked, “Do you kiss all your Misterb&b guests?” (“Non.”) This just made matters worse. It created a vacuum where my old anxiety had been (“Is my Misterb&b host an escort?”), and allowed a new anxiety to take over: “Is my Misterb&b host just making out with me because he wants five stars?”
After having sex with Pierre, I thought to myself, “Did he only do that so that I could feel more at home? Had he only been flirting with me and telling me I was cute because I had paid him $50 and a service fee? Had he pulled out that penis-shaped bottle opener and said that it was ‘the same size as his’ because he did that for all of his guests?”
“Or maybe,” I thought, “Misterb&b is just whatever you make of it, Evan. Maybe Misterb&b doesn’t have ‘unspoken understandings’ that you need to know. Maybe if you’re having hangups about your sexual encounters with Misterb&b hosts, then your own insecurities and anxieties are just getting in the way of your happiness … again. Now go to bed.”
Two weeks later, he gave me five stars.
Tell me again why so many straight people think we’re all whores?
Who cares what they think?
We should all care since they’re the ones bashing us in the streets and making or rescinding the laws that affect our lives.
Portraying us as sex crazed fiends who can’t even manage a simple business transaction without sexualizing it does us no favors when we are trying to open closed minds.
Take a breath. The gay world is made of men not conspiracy theories.
Sorry to break it to yo, but some people will bash us for any reason. Our behaviour is just the pleasant excuse they give themselves. The just find us disgusting because of what we are. And the more you you give them, the more they will ask
Justifying homophobia does us no favors.
Charlie in Charge
No heterosexuals were harmed in the making of this story.
To the people making laws or bashing us, it doesn’t matter if we bed 20 guys or 1. Its the fact that we bed them at all that bothers them. Go take your self hating puritanical views elsewhere. To think 20 and 30 y/o straight folks aint doing what we do is ridiculous and narrow minded. You know very little about anything, and it shows.
it’s definitely a good outline for a porn novel 🙂
I’m a happy Mister b&b customer…stayed in Dallas, Tampa, and Ft. Lauderdale…but it never got sexual. Fine with me. But then I guess I’m truly undateable.
I’m a Mister BnB host, over three years now, about 180 guys have stayed with me, from one night up to two weeks. I have about 155 5-star ratings and two 4-stars (not everyone bothers to leave a review.) If I have the space, the guest is approved when they inquire. I do not base approvals on looks. I turn no guys down unless they have bad reviews from other hosts (obnoxious, rude, dirty, disrespectful of the house, etc.) I will not hookup with a guest (nor do I expect it) … unless the other guy initiates it and only if I’m equally interested in him. How many guys out of the 180 have I hooked up with? Grand total of only 15. I’m more interested in who they are, their travels, their cultures, their music, their food, than their dick. Having said that, when dick comes into play, it is indeed a pleasant and welcome surprise.
these stories sound made up
“Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless.”
Oh gosh, I didn’t think those things existed, an Airbnb for gay people : if it’s not pure communautarism, then I don’t know what it is.
I’m gay and I’m using simple Airbnb, because I don’t care if it’s a straight or a gay host, I don’t even want to know the sexuality of the host (and they don’t ask for mine), I’m here to spend the night and not to have sex with someone (do they know there is Grindr and a lot of other apps for that?).
And you wonder why straight people think we are whores (which straight people?), just read the stupid article.
Seriously, who picks his host based on his appearance? I think it’s the stupidest article I read here (and I read a lot of silly article on Queerty).
Do your research. AirBnB is *not* necessarily a friend of the community. At least MisterBnB is keeping gay male dollars in our own community.
Check out some of the MisterBnB listings in Fort Lauderdale/Wilton Manors, Chicago/Boystown, Atlanta/Miditown and Buckhead, NYC, and San Francisco. Some great places, interesting hosts, and prices way below what you’d pay for a big hotel in those cities!
I love Misterb&b and use it whenever possible!!! Now I know why I get 5 stars!! 🙂
Just tell yourself: this is not journalism, just a blog.
So was that just an ad for Misterb&b disguised as a blog or what?
I think the author is insecure and am happy he identified it at the end of the article regardless of actions taken
Why are you all so concerned with what straight people think, especially in a forum about gays staying with gays, keeping gay money in gay circles? I can guarantee you all that my straight friends don’t get on straight blogs and criticize eachother worried about what the gays think of them.
I’ve contemplated using Mr. B&B and wondered, titilated if hookups happen. Glad to know one person (plus Surfpenis) has some fun experiences. Cool.
Brian: Quit wasting your brain cells re: what ” straight” think. PHUCK them. That’s a self defeating, suppressive mind set. Free yourself. It’s self preservation 101…
Wait, is this the same guy who is a vapid reporter on DC tv?
I also tend to look at the profile of the host for attractiveness, but more because I am a voyeur and I like to stay in tropical places with a private pool where nudity is permitted, so then I have a chance of getting a good view. One host, who was decidedly not “my type”, had in his welcome package that he wouldnt approach me about playing, but that if I was interested, to approach HIM. That afternoon whilst laying by the pool, I got a text from inside the house asking if I wanted to f*ck. AWKWARD! I stayed with him for a week, so I was polite as possible and made myself out to be apologetically uptight about sex and that I would feel awkward. When in reality, if he was hot, I probably would have gone there. But, my whore-ishness shouldn’t be considered symbolic of the entire community, and his actions shouldn’t be considered representative of the MisterBnB host community either.
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