Man At Wits’ End Over Wife Who Leaves Him Every Weekend To Party Hard At Gay Clubs

2014-03-18-SAM_0550-thumbWe get it — gays have more fun.

But one Manchester, UK woman is trying to tap into the everlasting gay revelry while excluding her husband, and frankly, he’s getting the short end of the stick.

The understandably frustrated husband posted online seeking advice with his predicament:

She won’t ever go out with anyone other than these gay male friends, turns down invitiations from friends etc., apart from family friends, doesn’t even want to spend time with me, doing “couple-y” things, but I do.

She’s always going to gay bars with the male friends, and very rarely anywhere else and refuses to let me come with her, claims I wouldnt like it, I wouldnt get on with them but that argument seems weird to me. Surely if theyre good people their sexualitys not an issue?. It’s very odd this behaviour and I just can’t understand why she does this.

I’m not against her having a good time or jealous of her being with other men, it’s how she ends up afterwards that I’m concerned about.

She always ends up with either a bruised leg, a sore stomach, a grazed knee, or struggles to stand up, let alone walk and has to be helped by one of her friends, or comes in so drunk her speech is slurred… always after these nights out.

She does this every Friday and Saturday night and only rarely spends a night in with me.

Why is she like this.

Please help me deal with the situation, I just can’t cope with this.

The couple has been married for 18 months, and her insistence to spend her weekend nights away from her husband isn’t a good sign by any standard.

But why is it always at gay bars? And what would be the harm in him coming along one night, unless he’s just that awful to be around?

It’s possible she’s using the partying as a guilt-free means to escape a marriage that isn’t what she’d hoped for. She gets to hang around attractive men, ogle gogos and get wasted in an environment that feels safer than a straight nightclub.

One gay male reader wrote in with this advice to a similar end:

First, she likely thinks that her girlfriends would judge her for going out all the time without you, so she bypasses this by going out with her gay friends.

Second, by going to a gay bar, she has the excuse that since it’s a gay bar, in her mind she’s not going to cheat on you. So she thinks you have no reason to be jealous because, hey, they’re gay, it’s harmless fun!

Last, she’s one of these women who thinks going to a gay bar is just an absolute riot! Gay bars are like a circus to her, and in her mind, because being gay is already sooooo out there, she thinks she can get away with more wild and inappropriate behavior. She’s having a riot! She thinks that gay men are just so much more fun and attractive than straight guys, and because she is acting so outrageously, she is just bathing in their attention.

And she’s drinking so much because she’s likely trying to keep up with her gay friends, ignoring the fact that generally men have a higher alcohol tolerance, and that the gay community as a whole tends to drink more anyway.

This isn’t about her gay friends though, if they weren’t in the picture, she’d be finding some other outlet.

I think your marriage is in trouble, and the two of you should get into marriage counseling.

Hit it on the head. Also, we hope to never run into her out and about.