We get it — gays have more fun.
But one Manchester, UK woman is trying to tap into the everlasting gay revelry while excluding her husband, and frankly, he’s getting the short end of the stick.
The understandably frustrated husband posted online seeking advice with his predicament:
She won’t ever go out with anyone other than these gay male friends, turns down invitiations from friends etc., apart from family friends, doesn’t even want to spend time with me, doing “couple-y” things, but I do.
She’s always going to gay bars with the male friends, and very rarely anywhere else and refuses to let me come with her, claims I wouldnt like it, I wouldnt get on with them but that argument seems weird to me. Surely if theyre good people their sexualitys not an issue?. It’s very odd this behaviour and I just can’t understand why she does this.
I’m not against her having a good time or jealous of her being with other men, it’s how she ends up afterwards that I’m concerned about.
She always ends up with either a bruised leg, a sore stomach, a grazed knee, or struggles to stand up, let alone walk and has to be helped by one of her friends, or comes in so drunk her speech is slurred… always after these nights out.
She does this every Friday and Saturday night and only rarely spends a night in with me.
Why is she like this.
Please help me deal with the situation, I just can’t cope with this.
The couple has been married for 18 months, and her insistence to spend her weekend nights away from her husband isn’t a good sign by any standard.
How about we take this to the next level?
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But why is it always at gay bars? And what would be the harm in him coming along one night, unless he’s just that awful to be around?
It’s possible she’s using the partying as a guilt-free means to escape a marriage that isn’t what she’d hoped for. She gets to hang around attractive men, ogle gogos and get wasted in an environment that feels safer than a straight nightclub.
One gay male reader wrote in with this advice to a similar end:
First, she likely thinks that her girlfriends would judge her for going out all the time without you, so she bypasses this by going out with her gay friends.
Second, by going to a gay bar, she has the excuse that since it’s a gay bar, in her mind she’s not going to cheat on you. So she thinks you have no reason to be jealous because, hey, they’re gay, it’s harmless fun!
Last, she’s one of these women who thinks going to a gay bar is just an absolute riot! Gay bars are like a circus to her, and in her mind, because being gay is already sooooo out there, she thinks she can get away with more wild and inappropriate behavior. She’s having a riot! She thinks that gay men are just so much more fun and attractive than straight guys, and because she is acting so outrageously, she is just bathing in their attention.
And she’s drinking so much because she’s likely trying to keep up with her gay friends, ignoring the fact that generally men have a higher alcohol tolerance, and that the gay community as a whole tends to drink more anyway.
This isn’t about her gay friends though, if they weren’t in the picture, she’d be finding some other outlet.
I think your marriage is in trouble, and the two of you should get into marriage counseling.
Hit it on the head. Also, we hope to never run into her out and about.
Peter McKinney
She should be happy. At least her boyfriend’s not gay.
Frank Vaca
Unhappy marriage that’s why she turns to her friends like grace
broadshoulder
She’ll be a pain elbowing people on the dancefloor, shrieking at the barmen, causing trouble – seen it all before
Arcamenel
These are the kind of straight women I roll my eyes at when I go to gay bars.
Mario Estrada
Leslie Ortiz
Cam
So she’s a selfish alcoholic, divorce her and move on.
Glücklich
He should make a bunch of lesbian friends and go on an Olivia cruise with them.
“What’s good for the goose…Right honey?”
Hagan L Justin
Hilarious
James Sigmon
Ro funny
James Sigmon
Funny
Roman Mejia
Alesshandra Smart
Giancarlo85
I can’t wait for Brian/Jason Smeds to interject here… and claim something horrible about this woman.
She needs some help I think. I love clubbing, but there is a point you take it too far.
Bauhaus
Red flags galore. Yikes.
Bob Kellerman
He should divorce her…. she’s an adolescent who got married for whatever poor reasons.
And he is a silly wimp to allow this
It’s possible that if he ordered her to stay home that may be what she’s waiting for but I wouldn’t count on it
Robert Barber
He should go with
Karrnal
sounds like she’s making excuses for, or trying to hide, her drinking and drugging. Do gay men come home from the bar bruised?
Captain Obvious
Hubby needs some divorce papers.
alphacentauri
@Captain Obvious: Yes, or he could just go to the bars/pubs with her, or get her some help for her alcohol and drug abuse/addiction? If the story is actually true as it’s on reddit and this site loves to take fake stories from there.
Garth
Nothing saying there isn’t a straight or bi guy going to the bar also .
Rodney Jones
Mabe he should join her …..ha ha
Brian
I think the wife needs to take stock of herself. If you’re drinking to the point of harm, it’s not good. It doesn’t matter where you are – the North Pole, the Sahara Desert, or a gay bar in Manchester.
Randy Gordon
Some times love just isn’t enough. Divorce her!
DarkZephyr
And is marriage such a disposable commodity to a community that has fought so long and hard to be able to do it themselves that the first advice that some of you have is “divorce her!”? Really? He clearly loves her enough to do a little something called “put some work into the marriage” which is why he is asking for advice on what to do, he is not asking “should I divorce her at the first sign of trouble”. Jesus, people. You guys act like marriage is no more than casually dating somebody that you can dump when they become a little annoying. Marriage requires true commitment and patience sometimes, folks. Good grief.
Scott H Womack
If the idiot would just go with her, then dance with the gay guys, it would be HER problem then lol
Saint Law
@Brian: It’s even sadder when you do it at home, eh ‘Brian’.
Lvng1Tor
maybe she’s a lesbian
Cam
@DarkZephyr:
Yes, we fought for marriage, however guess what divorce is ALSO now legal which means just because he made a stupid mistake doesn’t mean he can’t fix it.
She is refusing to allow him to spend any time with her, drinks to passing out and comes home bruised.
Oh yeah, no problems there.
DarkZephyr
@Cam: I’m not saying that there are no problems, clearly there are, but why does divorce have to be the FIRST solution that people jump to these days? The ability to divorce is no great victory in my opinion, since we could already legally not be married.
If she is absolutely 100% obstinate and there is just NO getting through to her then I guess he should divorce her, but shouldn’t he also try to save his marriage first, if he loves her?
I just hate that these days marriage is seen as being as disposable and as sacrosanct as Kleenex. Is that really what marriage is supposed to be about? It seems like hardly anyone stays together anymore. Its depressing and bleak and makes marriage seem pointless.
One things for damn sure though. Marriage has been seen as a disposable commodity since long before we LGBT folks came on the scene. Heterosexuals have been doing a fine job of “destroying the sanctity of marriage” without our help for decades now.
drivendervish
Your wife just likes to party hard and doesn’t want to do it with you. She’s just using gay guys as cover because then it makes more sense to leave husband at home which she couldn’t do if she was out with straight friends. If your smart you’ll just leave her now because otherwise your in for a lifetime of pain and misery.
Nahald
@Cam: I think the alcoholic part is correct, and she probably feels trapped by marraige.