Meet Chris Sevier, the 38-year-old man who just filed a lawsuit against the state of Texas after he was refused a license to marry his MacBook.
Yes, you read that correctly. Sevier, an amateur EDM producer who was once arrested and charged with stalking country music star John Rich, says he wants to marry his computer and the state of Texas won’t let him. So he’s suing. It’s his way of protesting marriage equality. Or something.
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Sevier believes that under Obergefell v Hodges, the Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide in 2015, people are now allowed to do “morally disgusting things,” and it’s up to him to wed his computer to stop it.
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“The question is, should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle?” he told the Houston Press. “The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.”
He added that his lawsuit “is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history. This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we delusional?”
Attorney General Ken Paxton, Jr. filed a motion to dismiss the case. Ironically, Paxton is the same dude who once encouraged officials to defy the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling.
“The right to marry one’s computer is not an interest, objectively, deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition such that it qualifies as a protected interest,” Paxton says.
This is actually Sevier’s second attempt at marrying his computer.
In 2014, he filed a similar suit arguing that if gay people could marry each other he should be permitted to marry his computer. He even went so far as to say he’d fallen in love with his machine, claiming it was filled with porn and was, therefore, more satisfying than a human relationship.
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bottom250
I say go for it when a laptop can give consent.
ChuckGG
This is the kind of mindless nonsense that is insulting to anyone who knows a lick about the law. As far as secular civil marriage goes, it has been upheld in the Courts as a legally binding contract. What churches do or don’t do about their religious marriage ceremonies is up to them. It has zero to do with civil marriage. Participants in any contract must be legally competent. That is, they must be able to comprehend the consequences of entering into a legally binding contract.
Because of this, animals, Chevrolets, lamp posts, computers, children under the age of majority, and your pet mule, are not considered “legally competent.” Therefore, they cannot be a part of a civil marriage contract. When you can get Fido or your Corvette to sign its name on a state-issued marriage license application, then we might have something to discuss. In the meantime, take your bible and head back to church. Civil marriage does not involve you.
onthemark
Mac and Chris… sounds pretty gay to me! But I bet Mac will divorce him. Everybody knows Macs are smarter than pc’s.
Caleb in SC
@bottom250: @ChuckGG: You are both correct.
SteveDenver
If the laptop is over the age of consent (16-years-old), has the autonomy to legally consent or refuse without prompting, and is able to prove citizenship, GO AHEAD.
This means he won’t be able to marry unless this union is dissolved.
Too bad he’s so stupid. why would a laptop want to marry him?
Berkleyguy
I thought marriage was not acceptable unless both parties consent – last I heard, a laptop cannot give consent. Another clown – why doesn’t he move to Kentucky – I am sure the clown lady in the county clerk’s office there would love to have another same sex marriage opponent in her corner
DCguy
Closet Case.
Sorry to say, that no matter HOW anti-gay these people act we all still know that they are self hating closet cases.
little Alex
I’m so ashamed that a fellow Mac user can be this stupid.
Aaron
Another closet case.
onthemark
@little Alex: Will they invite Tim Cook to be “best man” at the wedding? It’s probably required somewhere in the User Agreement!
Mack
Everyone knew the dimwitted right wingers would do something like this. It was just a matter of time. They will continue with these childish things until they find another problem that bothers them.
We just need to keep on fighting the good fight and pay no attention to them. That’s what they want.
BeachDaddyDave
Well, at least ONE of them will have intelligence!
rbernard
Texas seems to have an endless ability to produce stupid people.
GG
“He added that his lawsuit ‘is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history. This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we delusional?’”
Well, yes, some of us are, but probably not those of us who you think are and not for the reason you may think.
“Corporations are people, my friend.” — Mitt Romney, referring to the ramification of Citizens United.
Well, if corporations are people, then it follows that a corporation’s (e.g., Apple) creation (i.e., “offspring”) (e.g., MacBook) also qualifies as a person. And since a “person” has the right to marry, I say go for it, dude!
So, yes, we are delusional, but not because of same-sex marriage, but due to Citizens United and the right-wing Supreme Court which decided the case.
adrianjurado310
here comes the bride
silveroracle
@ onthemark. I’ve heard of falling in love with Apple but is going a tad too far. LOL.
scotty
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
robho3
I think this guy has a couple of screws loose.
Steverino
Hello Ms Sevier. If you’re reading this and we all know that you’re trolling this site, you know you’re gay right? Or should I say a homosexual. I mean a closet case. Oh jeebus you know what I’m trying to say gurl. I’m trying to say that I can’t wait to read the story where you’re caught with your pants down in an airport restroom stall in a wide stance.
Transiteer
How many amazingly stupid straight people are there in the USA? Texas is a given. No doubt he’ll have better sex with the laptop than some female though…
Bob LaBlah
I have heard several references to marrying a laptop by news anchors but I honestly thought it was a generalization, not some one actually wanting to do it. This guy sounds like an attention whore who will soon commit suicide. I do admire his taste (a Macbook and John Rich do equal good taste).
James
The right to be an idiot was never disputed.
Tobi
@onthemark: It’s just after the bit where Apple becomes entitled to all our worldly goods. 😉
Kangol
Too bad it’s not a garbage disposal or a wood chipper. Make him consummate those first and then we’ll talk.