“I had to prove myself, to show that I was one of the guys. I was cut from the Rams, even though I was in the top five in sacks. Then I went to the Cowboys and had to do it all over again. And then I was cut there. I always felt like an outsider looking in.
When I came out to the world on Feb. 9, 2014, I got tons of emails from people telling me how they were condemned for their sexuality. It made me sad and angry. I spoke to one girl who told me that because I came out, she didn’t commit suicide. I was speechless.
When I was drafted I thought the headline would be ‘NFL has first openly gay player,’ but instead it was ‘Sam kisses boyfriend.’ Should I have kissed a girl?
The media made it a distraction. I’m still baffled. I thought it would be a story for two weeks and then it would go away.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
I tried to earn their trust, make them believe I belonged. Now I speak from the heart.” — Michael Sam, in a lecture he gave for Sexuality Month at the University of Albany, discussing the trials and travails of coming out as the world’s first gay NFL player in 2014
h/t: Times Union
Invader7
Well. he dealt with hetero-centric cretins.. Doesn’t bode well for the sports media aka : a bunch of insecure boys ….
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
C’mon Mike let’s be real, the cake thing was a bit um messy! What did you think the headlines would be? Im not discounting you may have encountered setbacks that were due to homophobia BUT too often you didn’t exactly help your own case
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
You got what you deserved for blackmailing your way into the NFL to begin with. You used the threat of a reality show against them and they played your big dumb ass and dropped you. Deal with it. You weren’t talented enough to get in on your own.
cabe
He was plenty talented. He was an all-American and SEC Defensive Player of the Year – probably more qualified than many other draft picks. And the media outed him, he simply answered the truth to their questions about his sexuality. He would have gone further had the media made it such a big deal. Not sure why you are trying to turn it around on him.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
Wrong. He blackmailed his way onto an NFL team using a reality TV show that he was slated to be on if he didn’t get drafted. After he got there he couldn’t play and not one single other team wanted him because of it. He’s black Tebow. All talk and no talent.
IJelly
Reality show was in the works before the draft. When the Rams objected the show was dropped.
lauraspencer
If he focused more on football rather than fame maybe it would have worked out differently. From the quick jump to make money off merchandise, the announcement of a reality show on OWN and then after to go on DANCING WITH THE STARS it is was hard to tell what was more important….the game of football or the fame game.
cabe
all of those things were after the fact. good god – give the guy a break
Xzamilloh
No… the reality show was not after the fact and was proposed during his run on the Rams. That’s when the red flags started to show. Dancing with the Stars came later after being cut from the Rams and Cowboys… and pretty much solidified that he was not to be taken seriously.
That gold-digging ex-fiance of his knew the deal and broke up with him
MarionPaige
Sam bought into the propaganda of what “Gay” is.
I still say the most telling thing about Sam and his media stunt kissing his boyfriend was that there seemed to have been no other Black people in the room.
antgalva
from my understanding he was abandoned by his family of losers
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
He’s never around black people and he refuses to date anyone but white guys then he screams white gays are racists when every single one of them doesn’t want him. Search the internet. You’ll only find one picture or video of him with another black person. And that’s just because another black guy got invited to a party he was at. Michael spent the whole night trying to dry hump Mark E Miller’s leg. I suspect the effort paid off with a three way.
IJelly
Enlighten us gay folk. What exactly is “the propaganda of what ‘Gay” is”. If that’s in the the gay handbook or part of the “gay agenda” I’ve sure the heck never seen it.
truckproductions
a bit much? only because it was two men. Had it been a straight couple it would have been treated far differently.. They would have laughed WITH them, not made jokes AT them.
Xzamilloh
Eff outta here… he bought into that hype machine as much as the media did and he made it as much about his sexuality as anyone else. It was becoming glaringly obvious that the celebrity of it all was beginning to eclipse his on-field potential, which is why no other team wanted the headache. And while he was good, he wasn’t that good, which was all the excuse the top floors needed to keep him out.
As far as I’m concerned, he is the first openly gay player in the NFL, but it needs to come with a big ass asterisk.
Bob LaBlah
He gave an interview with Oprah Winfrey that is on youtube. In that interview he stops dead short of naming other gay players who contacted to congratulate him and welcome him to the “club”. Right after that interview he was told good-bye (and rightfully so in my opinion) by the NFL. He blew his chance at the big money and has no one else but himself to blame for why no one (not even TMZ) will go near him.
He would shower, drink nor socialize with the other players. He must have forgotten that football is a team sport and its camaraderie amongst the players is the key selling point. He was an outsider who was let in screaming what he likes sexually and he will be the last for a long time to come (though I am going to my grave believing Colin Kaepernick is gay and the NFL and his whole team knows it.
Xzamilloh
Whooo, Colin Kaepernick can get it… but you’re right about Sam. He went from a dream to a distraction in less than 60. As an avid football fan, it especially pissed me off to watch him go this route, and the media played a huge part in making it about him being gay than about what he could bring to the field.
Arconcyyon
yes in welcome celebrety sport famosus mundi Americam U.s Eua Usa New York Atlett´s NFL LFN NFL ! He is this the married the beauty love boyfreinds no not the closet is guies tuor nightdrinks sexo music show drinks cabaret film ! GoodLuck ! The is He Perfil Heart´s is Sweet Love sexactivy passivy is ! Good Black Mem ! It´s in VOVÔ .
jason_evans
Identity politics can be a burden. Michael Sam should not have identified as gay.
I’m not saying that he should have hidden his sexual attractions. I’m simply saying that “I’m gay” becomes a burden because it becomes the only thing about you. How about saying “I’m a man first and I want to play good football”?
The only people who benefit from identity politics are smug little queens who sit at home and do nothing all day except use people for political reasons.
IJelly
His boyfriend isn’t his “sexual attraction” he’s his significant other, and athletes are constantly shown with or talking about their significant others. The only reason we expect Sam to hide who he’s dating, is because he happens to be dating a guy. If people have a problem with who he’s dating that’s their problem, not Sam’s.
Black Pegasus
When he starting sucking the face of his boyfriend on national television and crying like a sissy I knew it was over before it started. There was no way he’s be welcomed onto any NFL team. I wanted him to succeed despite my own discomfort with his “in your face” tactics but it didn’t happen. He’s 50 percent to blame and the media gets the other 50.
IJelly
The problem isn’t with what Sam did it’s who he did it with. Draft picks have been crying and kissing their significant others for decades now. The TV audience only thought it was weird because his significant other is a guy – in which case it’s audience’s problem not Sam’s.
ErikO
Michael Sam is not a good athlete and he is responsible for not playing pro-sports. He was signed by some Canadian team and then just up and quit. He’s not mentally stable and gives all gay black men and black men a bad name. He bought into the media, hype, etc.
Xzamilloh
Michael Sam is Michael Sam. He gives no one a bad name but himself. We’re not a monolith… his actions don’t reflect on me as a black man or a gay black man. I will say that the media circus behind him will likely scare off any other potential player from coming out anytime soon.
Herman75
He didn’t have very good handlers. The cake and kisses with the crying did not fit with the context of the draft. His handlers should have run interference to prevent such unnecessary distractions.
That said, even if Sam had made all the right moves, he still would have run into dinosaurs of the NFL.
So I look at him as a young man that did the best he could and did his part to try changing the status quo.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Just to redress some of the EXTRA negativity here I j wanna say f I like him. I mean from what I’ve seen and read about him. And despite the bad PR traps he walked into he seems to have a good head on his shoulders — maybe he was badly advised or narcism and arrogance got the better of him (equalities that come with the territory being lionised through school as a top athlete) But he also evinced a genuine humble and sensitive side that screams BF material. Added to which — and not inconsequential — he’s also hot AF.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
*Qualities
Captain Obvious
Pfft he’s nowhere near as bad as Gus Kenworthy who receives no venom for the same behavior.
jason_evans
One of Michael Sam’s problems is that he chose to identify as a sexual orientation. Most men don’t do this. I know tons of men who are attracted to women but they don’t go around saying “I’m straight” .
Once you identify as a sexual orientation, you set yourself apart from other men. In team sports, this can be alienating to the guys in general.
IJelly
Practically every athlete identifies their sexual orientation, either by embracing their significant others after games or thanking them in interviews or showing up at events with their honey at their side or even by just wearing a wedding ring. The ONLY athletes who don’t identity their sexual orientation are gay/bi athletes.
Me2
I just find it very disturbing how the gay media ate his story up as did the gay community and then abandoned him. I remember him being praised for his courage and being hailed as a role model for other closeted athletes. Then once he really started being transparent, everyone succumbed to the homophobic pressure and flipped on him. It’s even more disturbing listening to people justify leaving him hanging by assassinating his character. No one tried to defend or protect him. Not even the “community” who was more than willing to align themselves with him just to further their agenda. As I see it, his only mistake was getting involved in the gay propaganda machine.
Captain Obvious
He’s black. This is how black gay men are treated by the so called gay community. If he was a white male he’d have the support and attention. Gus Kenworthy became a celebrity doing the same thing and no one really hates on him. That “hot teacher” and those blonde twins did the same. Only white males are lifted up and if they’re lucky maybe a token every few years.
jason_evans
I’ve always said that the gay community is a myth. Community means caring. I don’r see much caring among gay men.
The gay media is also a bit of a joke. It has declined.
IJelly
Not everyone in the media was terrible. OutSports supported and defended Sam throughout. Nate Silver at 538 did a piece on how Sam’s stats as compared to stats of other rookies meant that he should have been signed to a team. L.Z. Granderson repeatedly defended Sam and pointed out the implicit biases both in TV interviews and in print. Former NFL players who came out after they retired also reached out and supported Sam.
Kangol
No matter what, this young black man was brave enough to be the first out gay NFL draftee and player. Don’t ever forget it! Stay strong and much success in whatever you choose, Michael Sam!
MarionPaige
APPARENTLY, the ad budgets at corporations and the charitable donations budgets at corporations for GAY and BLACK are so separate that media properties see no ADvantage in promoting themselves as BLACK AND GAY. The Gay media properties stay just with Gay and the Black media properties stay just with Black. In other words,
Michael Sam as BLACK AND GAY was apparently not as marketable a property as WOMEN AND GAYs seems to be.
In somewhat of a defense of Sam,
it is easy for those of us who grew up in small towns in the middle of the country to think that what we read in the NYT and see on National TV is real world.
Masc Pride
Sam is STILL going from interview to interview talking about being gay in the NFL, yet he claims the media made it a distraction? Hey Mike, try talking about something other than your sexuality every once in awhile and maybe it won’t be a “distraction” anymore.
IJelly
Most you guys are crazy. Sam was the SEC defensive player of the year. Before he was outed he was slated to be a second or third round draft choice. During the Pre-season he had the second most sacks of any rookie on the Rams despite receiving significantly less playing time. Nate Silver at 538 did an analysis of his stats and said that based on the stats of similar players he should have been signed to a team. Who the eff cares that he kissed his significant other or cried when he was drafted. We’ve been watching draft picks do that for decades now. Who the hell are you guys talking about “identity politics” and “sexual preferences”. If you want to bitch about some cartoonish stereotype you have in your head about gay people, go do that over at Fox News.
TriForceKid1013
Something that you and all the other commeters that are using those preseaon stats need to consider. The preseason is alot different than regular season most of those sacks and stats came against other players who are also no longer in the league. His drop in the draft was because he was outed but because he had a very underwhelming combine and that also happens to good college players every also along with later round draft picks moving up but have good combines. And while he may have been Co SEC Player of the year you also gotta remember in the NFL most starters are elite at their positions as opposed to college ball. Fact is he just wasn’t good enough to compete at the NFL level proof of that came when he also flamed out in the CFL as well he was given a chance and instead didn’t try to improve like you have to do once you move up.
TriForceKid1013
That should be his drop in the draft wasn’t because.
flybyKnight
OMG! When will Micheal Sam go away?! Enough! He sold a narrative before his story was even told. He was going to be the first openly gay NFL player, have a bevy of high-profile sponsorships for breaking through the NFL queer barrier, make the talk show junket, and be a role model…then perhaps play some football.
Then he washed out from one NFL team to the next until he finally got kicked off a Canadian team as an afterthought. His story only inspires gay athletes to stay in the closet.
Just like the first black POTUS had to be one of the most credentialed and educated persons ever to hold the office… unfortunately queer people must also be exemplary (borderline perfect) to be taken seriously.