Moss Grows Everywhere

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It seems that one can’t take a shit without seeing Kate Moss’ face. This may surprise a few people, considering the model’s coke scandal a mere 12 months ago. But, open any magazine and there she is, staring back at you with a vapid gaze, unfazed by all the hoopla. Honestly, there’s something refreshing about seeing her back on top – God knows we love her – but what distresses us is that according to The Daily Mail, Moss has raked in nearly £30 million in contracts since allegedly cleaning up her act.

That’s funny, when we got clean all we got was a blowjob. Sort of makes us want to try the whole thing again.

One reader of The Mail commented, “What is the matter with people – am I the only person to stop buying items that this stupid, hedonistic, useless women advertises?” Bitch, you know you didn’t buy Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel suits. You may have stopped buying Rimmel, but that’s probably for the best.