Newark, Del. City Councilman Ezra Temko came out as bisexual in an an interview with the Newark Post today, while pushing for and winning an inclusion of āgender identity and expressionā into the city’s non-discrimination policy. Temko thinks that the disclosure is no big deal, saying āWhen I was running for council, I was single, so it really didnāt come up. [My boyfriend] Drew [Phillips] and I go to public events together and our relationship is fairly obvious on Facebook. I think everyone who would normally know Iām dating someone knows Iām dating Drew.ā
“Temko, who grew up in Newark and graduated from Cab Calloway School of the Arts, said he came to a greater understanding of sexual orientation while attending Oberlin College in Ohio.
āDuring college, I was in a very inclusive environment that embraced everyone, instead of accepting norms as legitimate on face value,ā he said. āI was able, in this environment, to explore who I was and realize that Iām bi-sexual. I always assumed I would end up with a girl; then I met Drew.ā…
Temko said he first began by getting involved with organizations that advocate for gay, lesbian and transgender rights in Delaware.
āFrom that, I began to see what states and municipalities around the country are doing and I asked myself, āWhy isnāt Newark doing this,āā he said. āI also was approached by a Newark resident who asked me to pursue a city ordinance prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Those two things led me to introduce my proposals on Monday.ā…
Council also unanimously agreed to research a pair of substantially more progressive measures including the extension of city health care benefits to municipal employeesā domestic/life partners and the creation of a city domestic/life partner registry, which would serve as a legally verifiable database. The registry, Temko said, would allows same-sex couples to prove their committed status, thereby qualifying for any domestic/life partner benefits offered by their employer or visitation rights at certain health care facilities.
hardmannyc
Oh Ezra, Ezra, so young … You’re “bisexual” but you have a “boyfriend.” What makes you think you’re bi? Because you’ve slept with a few girls? Because some girl once gave you a hand job? Just come out already.
Darth Paul
Cutiepie
I love that goober smile.
sam
Hardman: Why no love for the B? It’s not “just a phase.”
JL
Congratulations to Ezra, but mostly, thanks for pushing this important legislation in your city!
hardmannyc
Sam: I do think some few people (especially, for reasons having to do w/biology & evolutionary biology, women) are truly bisexual. And I believe in the Kinsey continuum. But a lot of younger gay men are afraid of being considered “gay,” so they call themselves “bi.” Maybe Ezra falls into the 3 on Kinsey, but dude’s got a boyfriend.
Jaroslaw
#5 Hardmannyc – we had a huge dialogue about this here on another post – but for the record I agree exactly with what you said.
And DarthPaul – Yes he is cute as can be and apparently pretty smart.
J
@hardmannyc: So, you can’t be young, bi and have a boyfriend? That makes you gay. Can you be young, bi and not have a boyfriend? That makes you a loser. Can you be young, bi and have a girl friend? No, then you’re a poser.
See where this is going? I think what you’re saying is shocking from a gay man. If someone told you when you were young (from the sounds of your comment you’re not – far too world weary) that it was just a phase and you weren’t really gay ’cause you didn’t dress in drag and why didn’t you just get a girlfriend or something, you’d probably be pretty pissed.
I’m not bi, but I really think we need to stick together and thinking like that’s pure posion.
Don’t hate, participate.
peeps
gawd, enough with the bi-hating. the point is this kid is brave and he’s working for l’s, g’s, b’s and t’s. applaud him, don’t be a total tool and mock him for his stated sexual orientation. he got himself elected to the city council at 23, and now he’s risking his political career to be honest about who is. that’s freakin cool.
rick
good lord he isn’t a bisexual he is gay. i am so sick and tired of this bisexual bullshit.
having sex with a woman once does not make you bisexual any more than taking a shit in the woods whilst camping makes you a bear.
sal
ok let me change it up.are there any hot bi guys out there??im single!!!!!(and im angelic and hot lol)
rick
i would think that heterosexuals would have a problem with bisexuals more than they do with gays. the bi’s will want to deflower your son and your daughter.
bisexual is what you tell your parents are instead of admitting you are gay, keeping their hopes up that you might settle down with a nice girl going for a few more years so they don’t cut you out of the will.
vernonvanderbilt
I’m not bi, but I dig bi guys.
For what that’s worth.
BG55
First let me say “Congratulations Ezra!” We’re proud of you.
Second let me say that I am so incredibly sick of the ignorant, self-hating losers, like the some of commenters here on this board, who feel that they have to deny the existence of bisexuality to cover up their own inadequacies. Why do you feel so threatened? In my experience it’s because you, like the majority of vocal hate mongers, are either full of self-loathing or just trying too hard to hide something. I know PLENTY of very prominent “gay” men who are secretly bi, but are afraid to come out for fear of being rejected by the likes of you. How sad. I AM bisexual and have been open and proud of it for over 30 years. If you can’t deal with it -tough. Get a life, you’re just pathetic.
Jaroslaw
BG55 learn to read! Please! No one is saying Bi’s don’t exist. They are saying it is convenient lie for many who don’t want to admit being Gay.
scott
seriously. It’s like the gay guys are afraid or something of the bi guys. You do know you sound like homophobic jerks, right? Or should it be biphobic jerks.
Are you so insecure that you can’t just accept another person and his orientation? If he says he’s bi, then accept it and move on. 1. It’s really none of your business. 2. Don’t judge. You ask everyone else not to judge you on being gay. When the fundamentalists are in your face saying you “choose” to be gay, it’s exactly the same thing when you are saying bi people are “choosing” to be bi and really gay. Just accept and love your fellow LGBT person.
Sheesh.
Jaroslaw
Scott- are you addressing that comment to anyone specifically because I never said Bi’s don’t exist; I fully realize it is each individual’s own business how they live their lives. But “don’t judge” is too simplistic. We make judgements everyday. I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be more tolerant, but just saying “accept people” that is YOUR judgement. Get it?
Jaroslaw
And Scott, maybe you are on to something, but not the way you think. Gay guys have had to fight the notion that absolutely, positiviely the only normal stuff is “man/woman” and here come the Bi’s saying well we like both. We know full well no society on earth ever existed where positively everything was acceptable. So it is a “threat” sort of. But really, you must understand Rick #11’s point for many the Bi think “keeps hope alive” for the parents and family? Look at Dynasty. The Fans hated it when Steven was “Gay” but when he wavered towards women, the fan mail was very positive. Which is exactly how most of society looks at it. Gay is abnormal, it is just phase etc.
Jaroslaw
oops for many the Bi THING, not think….
sal
To all the Bi-Sexual guys,ignore all the hate….i love u!!!!
Alex
@Jaroslaw: Rick seemed to be emphatically denying the existance of bisexual men.
I don’t doubt that there are gay guys who claim to be bisexual to reduce some of the stigma (does it work? I’m not so sure). But who are you to judge any particular guy and say “you’re not really bi, you’re gay” or “yes, you’re genuinely bi”?
And hardmannyc seems to think that having a boyfriend in some way precludes bisexuality. I fail to see the logic there, any more than dating a blonde precludes also being attracted to redheads.
Personally, I suspect there are both “gay” and “straight” guys who are really bisexual (albeit not dead centre on the Kinsey scale) who don’t admit that they’re bi because that way they wouldn’t fit properly into any camp. But I’m not about to go around saying “oh, he says he’s gay, but I bet he’s bi really – he’s just claiming to be gay because of the social stigma in the gay community”. I don’t profess to know everything that’s going on in the heads of most of my close friends, let alone someone I’ve never met.
Interestingly, various studies have shown women to have very fluid sexuality, and to be almost universally physically aroused by both lesbian and straight sex (even if they are completely unaware of that arousal). So women, at least, appear to be potentially bisexual but often slide towards homosexuality or heterosexuality for unknown reasons – possibly social pressure, or hormonal changes or whatever.
Pragmatist
I am so tired of the fucktards on this board who take every possible opportunity to bash bisexuals or challenge someone’s claim to bisexual. Look, we’re not all gay. I’m sorry if that complicates how you view yourself, but it’s an immutable fact. Some of us don’t think pussies are a “hideous monster” (an actual quote from the Christie’s Madonna thread). In fact, some of us rather enjoy them.
* * *
Anyway, back to the topic at hand: EZRA! YEEEE-WOW! Smart, accomplished, apparently nice, and — look at the pic! š
Estraven
There was a study done in 2002 by Gregory Herek (The Journal of Sex Research) that showed that straight people hate bisexuals more than any other group in this country except IV drug users. In other words, they were MORE prejudiced against bisexuals, especially male bisexuals, than against Lesbians and gay men. Another study done in Massachusetts showed that, most likely due to biphobia, bisexuals had had higher rates of heart disease,
anxious and depressed moods, and suicidal thoughts in the past year than either gays or straights. It is NOT more socially acceptable to be bi than gay, especially if you are male.
It took real guts to did what Ezra did. It would have been a lot easier to hide, and just say he was gay. At least then he wouldn’t have haters like the ones here after him. We bisexuals (I’m 55 – kind of a long time for a PHASE, don’t you think?) get sort of sick of being hated by everybody, or being told we don’t exist. I’m a bi activist, and I can’t tell you how many “non-existant” bisexuals I have met at this point, male and female, all ages, genders, races … But I guess we are all butterflies dreaming we exist, as Chuang Tzu said.
Jaroslaw
Alex, thanks for being considerate. Just one point – when you say “who are you to judge…” I would never judge “a particular guy” which was your question. If he says he’s Bi, that is his business and his life. But the same way any judgements are made is by historical evidence and research. We now know that many people in politics, entertainment etc. presented themselves as straight and they weren’t. Then they said they were bi and they weren’t. They were Gay and that is my main point.
LOL
I thought I’d leave this here.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/08/30/health/webmd/main805081.shtml
RandomObie
I went to school with this guy. Say what you want about his sexuality, I really don’t think its either here nor there, but you’d be wrong if you don’t think he’s a calculating, career polititian, all the way through.