Now that all the real awards shows are over, we can finally get to the MTV Movie Awards (airing April 12), aka the categories that matter. You know like, “Best Scared-As-Shit Performance,” “Best WTF Moment,” and the ever-objectifying “Best Shirtless Performance.”
But since it’s out there, we figured hey, why not take a closer look at this year’s shirtless nominees.
For art’s sake.
Here they are:
Zac Efron, Neighbors
We could probably just stop here, because Zac proved once and for all in this movie that his body has fully transformed into well, this. He certainly gets our vote, but we owe it to the competition to check out the rest of the goods, don’t you think?
Chris Pratt, Guardians of the Galaxy
Are we the only ones who kind of prefer Chris in his pre-sixpack Parks and Rec days? That’s not to say we’d kick her out of bed or anything, but maybe we just aren’t fully used to this beefed up funnyman yet. Perhaps Jurassic World will make it sink in.
Channing Tatum, Foxcatcher
Normally we’d be all over a shirtless Chan like glitter on a unicorn, but his role in the character drama Foxcatcher is a little bit creepsville. Which sort of just confuses us, which we guess is exciting in its own way. This is Chan’s second time being nominated in this category — in 2013, his Magic Mike chest lost to Taylor Lautner’s in Breaking Dawn. We’re sure he was just devastated.
Ansel Elgort, The Fault In Our Stars
We aren’t really sure how to feel about this one. On the one hand, breakout star Ansel Elgort gives a great performance, and is nice to look at in or out of a shirt. On the other hand, the film depicts Ansel as a cancer patient who shares a romantic journey with another cancer patient. Touching, inspiring, thought-provoking? Yes. Hot? No.
Kate Upton, The Other Woman
Hey, what do you know? An actual woman! Kate’s cleavage does actually drive the plot forward in The Other Woman, so maybe she’ll bring it all home come awards night. We doubt it, though.
just discovered Ansel Elgort in that stupid Divergent movie. In one of his scenes for the sequel, Ansel looks like a special effect. The guys is six four and seems incredibly normal.
It’s very close, but I’ll pick Zac.
Nick Jonas and Orlando Bloom have delicious looking nipples…just sayin. Not that they had any shirtless films this year
I prefer Channing. He doesn’t seem to be a smart guy, but he looks delicious.
Such tiny nipples! It would have been nice to see a variety of shapes and sizes.
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