THE LIFE OF PIE

Pizza Man Herman Cain Says Veggie Toppings Are For Sissies

Today, instead of reading about a new allegation detailing his alleged tendency to sexually harass women, we found out a bit about Herman Cain, the gourmand.

In a GQ interview, Cain likened his Republican primary opponents to flavors of ice cream: Mitt Romney is “just plain vanilla,” Rick Perry is “rocky road” and ,perhaps in a veiled jab at her spouse, he labeled Michele Bachmann “tutti-frutti,” adding, “I know I’m going to get in trouble!”

Ice cream isn’t quite Cain’s forte, but the Godfather’s CEO also explained he’s very choosy about the toppings he puts on his pizza pie, revealing he likes “lots of meat” and that “the more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe, the more manly is.”

Huh?

“The more manly man is not afraid of abundance,” explains Cain. “A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.”

Guess this means we’ll have to add veggie pizza to the list of girlie foods that plague our kitchens: baby carrots,  soft-serve ice cream, tofu, macaroons, and gluten-free anything.

Image via Robert Huffstutter