Portia De Rossi’s Blanket Apology For All the Lives Ruined by Gay Marriage

Sometimes the gay men and women who got married in California’s brief window that legalized same-sex unions forget that their wedded bliss impacts the lives of other people. Don’t you know that by trampling on the institution of marriage The Gays are destroying family values and destroying the well-beings of fellow Americans? Portia de Rossi, recently seen playing silly games with her wife Ellen DeGeneres, has been chosen to apologize to all the heterosexual people whose own rights have been infringed upon by hateful homosexuals.