This Man Must Have A Death Wish

Rupert Rips Madge, Moss

Rupert Everett’s inner bitch came shrieking out this week. The brassiere wearing St. Trinian’s actor blasted former pal Madonna and model Kate Moss for their terrible style:

Forget St Trinian’s, I should really be headmistress of a star academy. All these so-called style divas have such terrible dress sense. I could give them a proper going over, and then put them back on the road.

Ooh, look, Kate Moss’ hands have become almost as grabby as Madonna’s.

Actually, they’re all at it, clutching their handbags with knobbly claws, like it’s stuffed full of cash. That will have to be one of the first week’s lessons at school. How to hold your handbag without looking grasping.

Everett better watch his back! We all know Madonna and Moss both vast international networks of homo agents. They could strike at any time in any way. Our prayers are with you, Rupert…

Note to Madonna and Moss: the “prayers” we promise Everett are in no way a sign of allegiance. Don’t hurt us…