Grab the Kleenex and get ready for your daily cry, because this one’s a real tearjerker…
25-year-old Ben Hobson’s journey has not been easy. His mother died nearly six years ago. Shortly afterwards, he married his wife and they produced two children together. Yet despite having what many would consider the “perfect family,” Ben was deeply unhappy and developed a drinking problem.
Earlier this year, he quit drinking. After getting sober, he realized the root of his unhappiness: He had been living a lie.
Ben is gay. He recently released a short video, telling his story.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“This is my crazy, messed up, loving, hurtful, redemptive, free story,” he writes on his YouTube channel.
Check out the video below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4PV4Vyluc8
And, just in case you’re curious what Ben looks like shirtless, here you go… (You’re welcome!)
moontat
I haven’t heard that song used as a coming out song by someone else, but I know it was one of mine. “I don’t want the world to see me. Cause I don’t think that we’d understand.” It took me back. I too am a father. Thanks for sharing your story.
cflekken
Why can’t the headline just be “Married father of two comes out…” Why the “sexy” part? This is one reason i have a love/hate relationship with this site. There’s no need to sexualize almost every article that’s posted. That’s part of the reason the straight community feels uncomfortable, because they all think that all gay men think about all days is dick and once we see a hot guy, we want to jump him. Show us as real people for f*ck’s sake and not just sex-crazed beings.
Gordon
“This, above all, to thine own self nbe true!? Willy Shakespeare had it right! Bravo.
redcarpet
Glad he’s doing it at 25 and not 45 so many stay in the closet till the kids are out of the house and then its all the more devastating.
I’d totally date a dad. Would be extra tough though building a relationship with him AND his kids without stepping on the ex-wifes toes.
Alan down in Florida
This is more pro-sobriety than any other message. And I worry when I see so much of gay culture centers around drugs and alcohol. His message of being yourself instead of getting ripped for fun resonates with me. I took an out guy who worked for a local gay organization home from a bar and we hooked up. The next day he accused me of doping him. In the brouhaha that followed he finally admitted that he had never had sex with another man when he was sober. I told him he needed a shrink to deal with that but he didn’t. Finally his alcoholism cost him his job and his friends. He could accept being gay intellectually but he couldn’t deal with it emotionally and so he drank.
Blackceo
@cflekken:
Yeah I totally agree with that. The “sexy” part and the whole needing to see him without a shirt part was just unnecessary. Its a beautiful youtube video and story alone without the need for it to be sexualized in any way. Good for him for becoming sober and coming to terms with his sexuality. Will serve him better for his own overall physical and mental health, and translate into being a better father for his young children.
bdwaycas
This might be nerdy and not important, but was anyone else bothered how he faked writing on the tablet each time when it was clearly already written and he was just swiping from screen to screen? I guess the message is more important, but it made the video feel artificial. I kinda hate all of those videos where they use flashcards to tell the story. Why not just speak?
SteveDenver
Why the puerile approach?
Instead of a shirtless pic, it would be great to have a story about a DAD that told about his kids and if he has a positive rapport with their mom, how they worked it out.
Blackceo
@bdwaycas:
LOL I noticed that too but it really didn’t bother me. I understand he was doing it for effect.
RSun
@bdwaycas: I noticed that right away and I agree. The message was great, but it had less impact than it could have for that reason…for me anyway.
DarkZephyr
@cflekken: Straight men are perceived the same way when it comes to women.
CodyJ
Amazing video,kewl dude,honest n open, I wish him the best.
Larzsystem
So he comes out. Great. Does he get a proper divorce and give his wife her freedom to marry a heterosexual man who can truly love her as she deserves or does he stay married and possibly lead a duplicitous life that would only bring disaster and awful consequences to himself, wife and innocent children? Sorry, I’ve seen this gig before and it just doesn’t pass the smell test.
Blackceo
@Larzsystem:
http://www.candysdirt.com/wp-content/uploads/Debbie-Downer1.jpg
CCTR
@bdwaycas:
To answer your question, Yes the music and the tablet thing and even the smile at the end all failed to make it a touching video in my opinion. It is great that he is liberating himself by choosing sobriety and accepting what he feels is his true sexual orientation. I do wish him the best and I hope he achieves the “internet celebrity” status he may be aiming for. Best wishes to him, his wife and children.
SporteOne
As we can all clearly see it’s a young, eye candy, 20 something year old that makes queerty “tearjerker” news.. married and with 2 kids. Boo hoo. Come one, really?
drivendervish
The fake writing didn’t really bother me but I really don’t understand why he doesn’t just talk. I think the message would be a lot more powerful if he just talked, like Tom Daley. It’s a sweet coming out story until you think about how devastated his wife and children must be. It doesn’t say when he started drinking but in my experience alcohol isn’t very effective for burying sexual thoughts and desires. The opposite was true for me in that drinking gave me the courage to hook up and/or go to a gay bar. This guy knew he was gay all along but thought that getting married and having children might “fix” him. Most of us aren’t so self-centered that we will ruin the lives of other people in an attempt to figure out who we are.
alextranemi
So, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my life lately and have come to the conclusion that I might not actually be gay after all. I was curious to see what the gay life was like, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity: Tell wife I was gay, get out of the military, start a new single life, but in truth I just really did not enjoy my life with my ex-wife. The only reason we got married was because she got pregnant in 2008 (a month after my mom committed suicide) and me being the good guy, I thought it would be man of me to marry her…Anyways, I am going to stop parading around like some gay dad hero, because that’s not what I am. I’m just a normal guy, that has dealt with issues and overcome curiosities, and have finally come around to what I value in life. My kids. I mistook a bromance with my best friend in 2013 with gay feelings. In truth, I was just curious and wanted to explore the gay life…If you haven’t tried it, how do you know you don’t like it right? I also gave in to the society stereotype that says if I’m creative, artsy, love to sing and dance, then I must be gay right? I’ve spent the last year focusing on logic “Logically speaking, I must be gay because I fooled around with my friend in 2013”…Anyways, enough of my rant. I’m going to start living life. No more youtube videos. I’ll probably still record family videos of my kids and I going on adventures, but that’s about it.
alextranemi
http://hobdog.tumblr.com
Apparently he’s not gay anymore lol