A Spanish prosecutor has proposed an eight-year prison sentence for global pop icon Shakira, and fans are ready to go full Shawshank to save her.
Shakira is being relentlessly targeted over a tiny, barely consequential tax fraud case (is 14.5 million euros really that much in the grand scheme of things)?
On top of that, the Colombian superstar contends that she didn’t even live in Spain from 2012-2014, the period of her supposed tax evasion.
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Fan reactions to this latest sentence proposal ranged from indignance to immediate jailbreak readiness.
Here’s just a few of the brave stans fighting for her freedom:
me distracting the guards so shakira can make a run for itpic.twitter.com/KRcvwWE7NO https://t.co/qnA8yFUNy1
— erin (@iputarsenic) July 29, 2022
me arriving at shakira’s prison in barcelona to free her pic.twitter.com/oMuJIXNIT9 https://t.co/YGQIcME41Y
— virgo’s groove (@lovedrawght) July 29, 2022
We know it’s the apocalypse when Shakira is going to wind up in prison and Trump is dancing on stage.
— Buddy Winston (@BuddyWinston) July 29, 2022
Shakira decided to fight for her innocence, get them queen, every single one of them.
— Hoodie (@HoodieTheSequel) July 29, 2022
me distracting the guards so shakira can sneak out of jail pic.twitter.com/s6Pw7z5wUP
— mooteabh | former minor (@bamchaen) July 29, 2022
Shakira: “YOUR HONOUR I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG!”
*The Court Murmurs when suddenly the doors burst open and in come some hips*
Shakira’s Hips: “SHE HAS DONE TAX FRAUD SHE IS LYING AND I CAN PROVE IT!”
Shakira: “Shit” https://t.co/WubQR2rOwx
— Adam Peakall. (@ADAM_PEAKALL) July 29, 2022
me breaking into spanish prison to free shakira pic.twitter.com/ijcNDNVfUq
— beysmelanin (@beysmeIanin) July 29, 2022
shakifans going to defend Shakira in her trial for tax evasion:pic.twitter.com/R6rEDsCrtO
— (@heyiamemilio) July 29, 2022
Me rescuing Shakira from prison whenever, wherever. https://t.co/S176FgWySc pic.twitter.com/hzWsnf2bBN
— G (@stevensongs) July 29, 2022
me and the girls distracting the guards so shakira can escape pic.twitter.com/7TB22FZ28d https://t.co/QVAgnFG2qS
— rina is seeing itzy (@dreamglowrina) July 29, 2022
Reactions also included a large number of folks invoking Spain’s colonization of Colombia as a defense for her defrauding their government. Probably not the framework her team will want to lead with, but it’s good to brainstorm!
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In a world where Little Monsters are escaping kidnapping to tweet about Gaga and Swifties are going to prison for opposing the IDF, who’s to say Shakira fans couldn’t arrange a jailbreak? Other than talk on the phone and regulate their emotions, young pop music fans can do anything.
If push comes to shove, Shakira’s defense can just play “She Wolf” in the court; proof of her payment to the global culture really should suffice.
jt1990
Should be eight years house arrest. At my house! I may not be her type, but I’m the only guy around. If men in prison can learn to like other men, I don’t see why this couldn’t work out 😉
Charlie in Charge
Whomever came up with the “This time for Attica” subhead on the article tile is a genius. That is all.
Brian
I don’t share this sentiment at all. She sounds a little bit like Martha Stewart — already a member of the 0.1%, and then stealing from society in an effort to be in the 0.01%. She does deserve some amount of prison time.
(And the whole, “I didn’t live in Spain” argument is an obvious lie. She gave birth there, so that’s one giant clue. Her mansion there is certainly not something like a little timeshare or winter condo.)