“So there’s no more denying I got raped,” Reddit user iwascrewdliterally writes in a thread titled I(22M, straight) got shitfaced and fucked in the butt by a man! It’s been messing with my head. “That much is clear. Rather than use force or coercion to overcome resistance, my rapist relied on me being unable to think or even function normally.”
According to iwascrewdliterally, the incident happened last year. After a hard night of drinking, he crashed at his friend Sam’s (not his real name) house. He details what happened next as best he can given his inebriated state of mind at the time:
Darkness, head spinning, ears ringing. Memory flash: I’m being felt up and fondle. Next flash, I’m with a guy and we’re both touching and ‘crossing swords’ … Next flash, I’m drunk and trying to sleep but “someone” keeps poking me, [later memory] “someone” telling me this is too much of a cock tease and insisting on removing my clothes… Next flash (even more vague), “someone” is literally trying to fuck me in the butt and it hurts! Ow!! Next flash, “someone” is sucking my cock. Gah! I don’t need a blowjob right now. I need to rest and let my liver process as much of this fucking alcohol as I can before it kills me.
The next morning, he woke up beside his alleged rapist.
“I realize my ass is sore,” he writes. “As I begin to grasp the situation, I quickly dress and flee to the bathroom to inspect the horror. Shaking, I realize I’ve just been fucked in the ass by a man with a fat cock, with spit for lube and no protection!”
The incident left him feeling “emasculated,” like he was “going crazy,” and “full of self-loathing and fear.” So he turned to Reddit for advice.
Over 200 people offered their support.
“You are not less of a man for what that piece of shit did to you,” one person wrote. “His actions are not the actions of a normal gay person. They are the actions of a depraved person.”
“No one should have to feel the way you do,” another person said. “And please remember it’s not your fault. I hope you sort this out but try not to bury it because it will be with you forever if you do not deal with it now.”
“You can control the healing part of this incident,” someone else added. “I hope you do get some help dealing with this and learning that it was not your fault no matter how much you think you remember participating. Your ‘friend’ took advantage and is a bad person. End of story.”
The comments continued pouring in for days. Afterwards, iwascrewdliterally updated his original post thanking everyone for their words of support.
“Accepting the fact of rape was a bit of a struggle,” he writes, “but I feel a bit freer to confront my thoughts on the implications of this.”
He continues: “It’s really heartening to see all the love and support. … At the end of the day I guess I still have some of the same worries, but I think they’ve lost lost their debilitating edge. I even looked up an anal porn scene and didn’t cringe, much. That’s about as far as I’ve got so far. I guess it’s not a thing to digest in a day. Counseling may be the way to go after all, but I’m feeling less crazy for now, so thanks.”