screening room

The Catholic Church’s Beautifully Shot Video of Attractive Young White Heterosexual Couples Promoting ‘Marriage’

While Twilight: Eclipse may have satisfied our yearning for more Taylor Lautner shirtlessness, there’s one film in particular I’ve been hoping would turn into a trilogy. The National Organization for Marriage’s Gathering Storm, the Spring 2009 blockbuster complete with doomsday green screen action, was followed up by No Offense, with Carrie Prejean in the lead. But might another hate group have encroached on NOM’s territory to bring use the third installment?

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Leave it to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops — the American umbrella group for the Vatican’s church officials — to save the day. The conference’s Ad Hoc Committee for the Defense of Marriage has unveiled Marriage: Unique for a Reason, a 12-minute doozy complete with opening rain drops and water pouring, which makes me want to pee more than “protect marriage.”

Why isn’t this thing at Outfest?

The video is a “catechetical and educational aid to be used as a resource by a priest, deacon, catechist, teacher, or other leader,” says the group. “The video, viewer’s guide, and resource booklet form an integrated whole, and as such, complete the proper context of this tool.”

It’s also a science lesson: The male player in the film (real person? actor?) compares the union of a man and a woman to “two completely different things, like hydrogen and oxygen, and combining them to maker water, something entirely new, unique.” Okay, but is oxygen the man or the woman?

Stay tuned and they’ll talk about their sex lives!


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  • Jeff

    I hope that the young people who helped produce this video realize that their work is going to be used to promote a homophobic environment — an environment characterized by fear, hate, intolerance, and disrespect for others. Is this the kind of world that they want their children to grow up in?

    They’re out of sync with other members of their generation.

  • ron

    OK, was this posted just to totally piss me off!? I have seen better acting in a pre-school Christmas pageant. What fucking drivel spills from their mouths….And that lump of clay they so revere looks a pile of shit! I hope she’s barren and we all know he’s a closet case. God this just gets me going!

  • Lanjier

    They celebrate their love, but would deny us the same beauty and pleasure, describing it as unnatural in a million different way. Yet is is natural. The catholic bishop reminds me of that 80’s video where the heavenly spirit reveals its true nature as an old screaming demon.

  • Blaine Ward

    If anything, this video shows how scared, pathetic and desperate the catholic church really is.


    Some observations:

    1~ “The good lord said man should not be alone, I will make a suitable partner for him” Doesn’t seem to rule out that “suitable” partner being a man that he loves………

    2~ The clay on the potters wheel…….can ya have a more blatent rip-off of “Ghost”????

    3~ How ever did the Bishops find time away from their boy diddling duties to make this video?????

    4~ The dude in that video looks verrrrry Gay……..

  • papparon

    I was taught that OXYGEN in its NATURAL state was O(2) – TWO atoms of oxygen bound tightly together. So tight in fact that it would not naturally bond with hydrogen to form water unless the two molecules of oxygen are ripped apart by some external force (usually electricity) – then when combining with hydrogen all that energy used to separate the oxygen is released in a violent explosion.

    So much for their little “raindrops” theory of marriage. If it is true, then marriage between man and woman is UNNATURAL and requires a huge external force to make it happen, and in the process it destroys the very tight and NATURAL bond of the two oxygen atoms.

    Too bad God doesn’t just smite stupid people.

  • Uncle Roger

    Making water means two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen, so are they promoting three-ways? She’s pretty cute; I’d join in.

  • Cassandra

    “2~ The clay on the potters wheel…….can ya have a more blatent rip-off of “Ghost”????”

    Trouble is, the ‘clay on the potter’s wheel’ metaphor comes from the OT book of Jeremiah, which predates “Ghost” by roughly 2 1/2 centuries.

  • Hilarious

    How long before he leaves her for the lawn guy? Catholics should know by now their most vocal homophobes are gay. He loves her sooo much yet he can’t even keep his eyes focused on her. Camera guy must be pretty hot.

    I guess the chick in the video can cry into her bible or something.

  • jeffree

    In my lifetime I have been both the “pool man” and the “lawn guy” and all I can say is that the wife is only *slightly* more likely to hit on you than the husband !

    The Catholic church should’ve hired a better production company for this vid. It’s laughably bad. The actors keep moving their eyes because they don’t know where to look.

  • c

    he’s hot. i can definitely imagine him sucking my cock and giving him a facial while his wife is out at the market

  • BillySaint

    I think a similar video representing us would be good for those needing the full picture.

  • BillySaint

    Yeh he’s way hot.
    I think a similar vid, even a direct copy w two gay guys and two gay girls representing us would be well received by those who have the intelligence to know straight people are not the only ones in the universe. Love joins, not bodies. Time to fess up to it for the homophobes.

  • Jorge

    Of course they fucking met at “the quad.”

  • Stephen

    the guy is hot, so I’m watching it on mute.

  • jason

    They look like brother and sister.

  • Chris Robin

    Who the fuck gardens in the kitchen?

  • _atlas

    I could have sworn I saw him on Guys With iPhones last week.

  • Grayson

    The chemical formula for water is H2O -two hydrogens and one oxygen, this means the catholic church must now support polygamy!!

  • Republican

    The guy is hot, so a hate fuck might be in order.

  • Donna

    that explains the confused imagery of “We’re like two different musisians playing in an orchestra – er – in a duet….” :-D

  • MarySue

    yellow, red AND orange peppers? maybe there is something to that heterosexual thang

  • Sean

    I’m thinking about how I would react to this if I was a gay Catholic who bought the whole thing, hook, line and sinker. Then the message would be this: “This is a beautiful, loving, wonderful thing that every normal human being craves, in fact is designed for, and you can’t ever have it.” It’s kind of like a couple twisting the knife on a bitter single person by going on and on about how great their relationship is, only with the clear subtext of “you’ll never find someone like this because you’re broken”.

    Of course, they don’t care what message they are sending to gay people (who agree or disagree), only about promoting their values.

    Notice also that they weren’t very specific about how men and women were “wired different” because there’s nothing they could say that wouldn’t be a) inaccurate in many cases and b) patently sexist. Of course, the church is a sexist organization, but everyone knows that at some level and they benefit from not making it too explicit. That way they can tap into the assumptions that people make based on their own families and their own views on how men and women are, without getting called on it like they would if they actually tried to speculate on what important psychological difference separated “normal” men from “normal” women.

    Overall, as horrifying as it was, this was brilliantly made. If it hadn’t been for the parts of the script that interjected the phrase “a man and a woman” every 30 seconds, I could see someone from a more enlightened society not even realizing the homophobic subtext.

  • Enron

    The guy is definitely hot, wouldn’t mind him being my altar boy. ;)

  • Rod

    It was too boring to watch in full, but it doesn’t seem to be overtly homophobic to me, though definately aimed at encouraging a traditional family. I’m not sure I understand why that should be villified. If it wer attacking us, it would be a different story, but it’s not.

  • Jimmy

    If it was God’s plan for men and women to bonk each other senseless, then why is the Catholic church staffed exclusively by wizened old celibate virgins?

  • Aaron in Honolulu

    I am so compelled by the fact that my pure existence challenges the major beliefs of the couples in this video and of the people who produced it. I don’t have to push buttons or rebel for the purpose of rebelling, I just have to exist and I am automatically a threat to their understanding of the world. Life is truly fascinating!

  • thedarkchariot

    First of all, I thought the church didn’t believe in science, so what’s with the “hydrogen” and “oxygen” bullshit?

    Second of all, this is the kinda of shit that makes me so mad. This is the epitome of the “smiling bigots” persona that the church gives out. I can’t stand it!

  • Dan

    Based on sheer number cases that have gone to court, the Vatican is in fact the largest pedophile group in the world so anything they say should be taken with a grain of salt. The Roman Catholic heirarchy spent decades covering up child abuse and shielding the abusers – they have no moral authority left whatsoever.

  • Sean


    The problem is not that it’s a direct and open attack on gay people. The problem is that it promotes a picture of human relationships which is inconsistent with gays and straights being equal. It states that men and women are (both physically and psychologically) different and complementary, which is all well and good until you realize that it excludes people who are not (physically or psychologically) typically male or typically female. This includes non-GLBTs that just don’t act like their own sex enough.

    It also suggests (further in the video than you might have seen) that the point of marriage is to start popping out (or at least adopting) children and that “a child needs a father”. Fatherhood is (usually) wonderful. I love my dad. I’d like to be a father one day. But there are certain trigger phrases in the video that suggest that a family without a male parent (or a couple that didn’t want kids) just wouldn’t be as good as any other household, and that bothers me.

    A lot of this may seem subtle or nit-picking, but the subtext here is actually really important. People are not, out of the blue, receptive to homophobic messages. They get indoctrinated for years, often at church, with rhetoric about natural moral law, “God’s plan”, and descriptions of relationships couched in more-or-less sexist terms. That changes the “traditional family” from something that’s merely nice or admirable into the only “normal and natural” way to go (though curiously inconsistent with celibacy). Then they get hit with NOM’s messages about kids and that triggers all these protective instincts in people, which springs the trap primed by years of much more subtle propaganda regarding sex and family. Same-sex marriage turns into an attack on “traditional marriage” because that view of marriage is based not on the (difficult yet amazing) reality we live in, but on vaguely feel-good cultural fluff like this.

  • Pip

    This is the kind of “family” you see in horror movies, who like kidnap and torture people in their basements.

  • Ghizmo

    Such propaganda makes me sad, because I know there are people out there which are influenced by it.

    And when you realize how much this video will have cost and think about how much good you could have done with that money instead of attack people who don’t live the life the church wants you to, its just sad. Everytime I see such a video it hurts me like a personal insult :(

  • Kieran

    No need for an instructional video on how heterosexuals can get themselves “an Annulment” from the Catholic Church. All you need for that is enough MONEY and some church CONNECTIONS. If you’re a poor nobody, you’re out of luck.

  • Chaddyo

    Why do you guys care? It’s not like anyone here ever talks about love and romance. You’re hear to oogle over hot guys in Morning Goods. The only talk of marriage on this site is basicially, “They (the straights) have it so we should too!” Whining like children. NEVER to you speak of unconditional love for your partners or how you were made for each other.

  • fubar

    i just want to know who the hell taught these knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, neanderthals to use the tubes on the internets….whoever you were…you are a traitor!

  • nikko

    God, they’re so cheezy in trying to be convincing about their complimentary benefits(men and women are very incompatible, actually: men are homosocial). The problem is that this scenario is a lie because it’s one-sided: Same sex coupling are natural and soul-nourishing, also. yep, bisexuality. too. All from God, or evolution, so take that, smiling haters.

  • christopher di spirito

    “Men and women are made for each other. Emotionally, sexually, psychologically…..”

    But does she suck his cock?

  • gilber

    the male and the female are able to bond according to a limit.linearization and symmetrization of non uniform coupling has been the major task of the catholic church for centuries.the psychophysical properties of homologous coupling are artificially assigned to the heterogeneous make it worse,sexual androgynization is so well and skillfully promoted along with the macho identity that many so called macho men have no qualms thinking that he has a female sexual extension,that his other half is feminine,that they are one,that they share the same flesh, that the other sex sexual organ are “his” and so on without understanding the actual psychophysical meaning of these statements.

  • [email protected]

    Notice how they are more “politely” employing an OLD discriminatory tactic by implying that Gay men cannot feel the sort of love for their spouse that a heterosexual couple can feel for each other. DISGUSTING!!! It’s also FILLED with heterosexist gender stereotypes!!! Of course, it’s also intended to delegitimize that Gay people have always been revered and venerated, as well!

    But, personally, I hope this couple DOES have a boy, and that he grows up to be a good looking Gay man who’s a proud and fierce activist!!! Oh…and that he’ll get married to another guy and invite his parents to the ceremony… ;o)

  • Ken S

    Personally, if I was looking to make an argument and be taken seriously, I wouldn’t lead with “what I’m saying is true because it’s backed up with the *thoroughly ridiculous* fairytale notion that ‘the first man’ was made out of clay and ‘the first woman’ from a rib transplant.” You invoke an absurd source as the authority behind your argument, and you reduce the whole argument TO absurdity.

    The hack who scripted this clearly takes for granted- without criticism or questioning- that socially-structured and reinforced gender stereotypes are naturally inherent (which is kinda stupid, if you- you know- do much research into the matter) and then from that makes an imaginary-logic connection to biological ‘intentionality’ (which is stupider). How do hermaphrodites fit into this reductionist little worldview? How do those frogs that can change their sex when there’s a shortage of mating partners?

    We’re male and female because in the course of evolution, sexual reproduction– which arose as a random mutation– turned out to be the most successful mechanism for creating new offspring. That “means” just that– it’s the most successful mechanism– and it means nothing more than that. IF it hadn’t been, ‘we’ might reproduce asexually. It’s the same reversal of logic as when people say the universe must have been designed because “the settings are just right” for us to be here. That’s the height of hubris. We’re here because this universe happened to have just the right settings to allow us to be; if gravity *had* been too weak or the strong nuclear force *had* been too strong, we wouldn’t be here to marvel at our good fortune and that would be that.

    Religious mythology seems to be little more than a pacifier for those with an existential insecurity complex, perverted by its self-interested vendors into a crass instrument of psychological manipulation. “Afraid that your life is a meaningless blip in cosmic history? C’mere and let me tell you a story about why you’re the special crown jewel in creation, that should shut you up. And if you buy that then maybe I can convince you why God wants me to be in charge and to receive 10% of your net income, too!”

  • peteNsfo

    It’s insipid.

    I could only make it to about the 5 min mark, although I was struck by their comments about being in love and one person complimenting, but not completing another… it seems those remarks are AS TRUE for gay relations as straight.

    And don’t worry about me not ‘fitting together’ sexually with another man; we’re workin’ things out just fine…. :)

  • Tony

    Has the US conference been taken over by fundies? “Amazing Grace”? Not exactly a Catholic hymn. Literal interpretation of the Adam’s Rib story? Can’t think of anything nicer to happen to the US Catholic Church than to get suckered in as BFFs by their still-angry offshoot cults who wish to hasten their demise.

  • Jeremy

    I don’t have enough strength like some of you. Just knowing the fact that I’m going to watch a even more shitty propaganda than that “Gathering storm” makes me want to skip that already. But what I don’t get is how some of you want to shag the idiot who appear on this video. I’m not denying that’s he good-looking. But by being on this video, we know obviously what side he’s on. So what is the sex appeal of someone who has a very high possibility of knocking our teeth off even when we approach him only? . For some of you he may have but not for me. No matter how hot he is, a douche is a douche is a douche.

  • Doug Chgo

    These two actors are good enough (and the production values high enough) that they are probably Screen Actors Guild or AFTRA members. Do they look familiar to anyone else? Does anyone know who they are? I think they should be identified.

  • Doug Chgo

    One thing I thought was interesting in the scenario was that when the characters started talking about adoption, you could kind of see their whole world falling apart. It was as though the characters’ backstory included having tried for some time to get pregnant and it just wasn’t working (maybe Josh doesn’t have enough swimmers — it seemed to me that he came off as ashamed or disappointed and Carrie was resentful) — so adoption was going to be their option, which they were trying to be very brave about.

    It will be very interesting to find out more about these actors. I look forward to seeing this story develop.

  • Dan

    Has anyone else noticed that this film’s main arguments are unrelated to anything that could be considered Christianity? It doesn’t even sound like religion. A lot of it is a distinctive alchemy or metaphysics. Hydrogen and oxygen combine to form water. Both the hydrogen and the oxygen are complete in themselves, but they combine to form something new. All the body’s processes can be engaged in alone: eating, sleeping, and so on. But having babies requires two, a man and a woman, and supposedly so does sex.

    “What are the differences between men and women? Well, there’s the obvious. We’re built differently. But we’re wired differently too. It’s not just about biology.” “Our sexual differences are essential to who we are. It’s our identity.” “We’re like two different musicians playing in an orchestra, er, in a duet.” Again, this has little to do with Christianity or religion as they’re usually understood.

    “Marriage means babies…but marriage also means we get to create life together, whether we get to have our own children or not.” The wife adds that marriage gives them the possibility of life, even if it comes from “out there, serving others somehow.” This is an argument for marriage equality: having babies isn’t the only way that a married couple can create life. During sex, “I come alive, and there’s a sense of forever in that.” So many gay people have the same experience.

    “A husband and wife is just so much more than a man and woman living together. Josh is my husband, and I’ve given myself completely to him, and I’m his wife and he’s given himself completely to me.” Take away the sex-specific phrasing, and this is an excellent argument for why marriage is important and should never be denied solely on the basis of sexual orientation.

    The film quotes from a New Testament passage and then the Old Testament passage that the first one is based on. At the end, it quotes from the first passage again. However, neither passage has been interpreted as prohibiting same-sex couples from getting married until a few decades ago. More importantly, the presence of these two brief verses highlights the virtual absence of the Bible from the rest of the film.

    The thread that runs through the entire film is heterosexual superiority, even supremacy. Only a straight couple is natural and complementary. We’re also asked to believe that only a straight couple can create life by serving others. It’s an indirect attack on us by portraying the relationships of others as supreme.

  • thedarkchariot

    @Dan: Yeah. Ultimately, things like this are even darker and more insidious than the Westboro church kind of hate.

  • Clint

    Sooo boring.

  • Kwil

    Why do we care about these people’s thoughts. They make “observations” on gender and sexuality that are ridiculously non-scholarly considering they met at a university. If i can remember correctly they aren’t even entirely biblical. This entire video is a euphemism for the fear of differences, not the union of them.

  • Ted C.

    This message about marriage was brought to you by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops — a group of men who are not married, cannot get married, and who obviously don’t understand what being married is like.

  • Arthur

    This is so cute, it makes me sick. I think a fag wrote the script. By fag, I mean a self hating homosexual who is too scared to come out.

  • Matt


    So true.

    I came away with, “I don’t give a fuck what these people think.”

  • tim b

    The male actor was a on a web-only series called “InTurn”, where contestants competed for parts on “As the World Turns”. I seem to remember that his name was Preston something and that he was from Chicago.

    He was eliminated, appropriately enough, on a same-sex kiss challenge judged by the guys who play that show’s gay couple.

    And yes, I am completely embarrassed that I know this.

  • Troy Boy

    Bigotry at it’s finest.

  • Aaron in Honolulu

    @Republican: Very interesting. I guess as an actor, you take whatever jobs you can get. Btw, that kiss was fucking hot. I want him.

  • peteNsfo

    Thanks for that; it’s awwwwful! lol
    I especially like the off-camera direction, “We need more chemistry!” AND HOW!
    At least it demonstrates that an actor is just that- but the Cath Bishops understand that a message is better rec’d by a pretty boy & girl than it would be by a creepy old guy with ‘god’ knows what he’s NOT wearing under that robe!

  • L.

    I fear that if you decide to marry a girl weird enough to break into song in public after falling to the floor, you’ve got bigger problems than what takes place in bedrooms that are not your own.

  • L.

    Also, if I were in the market for marriage advice, I’d think twice about asking people who deny their own priests the right to wed.

  • nikko

    Thanks for the info, REPUBLICAN. I sometimes forget these people are actors.

  • boob

    Herro … does anyone know who the woman is?? :3


    @Republican: YOU ARE MY FREAKIN’ HERO! Dozens of Bishops just suffered a collective stroke upon your posting that clip…….. :-p

  • L.

    @tim b @Republican: OMG I missed that. PRICELESS. Thanks guys! *Someone* should send that videos to Their Graces!

  • Torin

    Note how they both talk about their “marriage” in terms of each other than themselves. Neither of them said the marriage is for society to get more people. I guess they should pay more attention . Then they would know that marriage isn’t about being happy together.

  • Shore_Guy

    I hope God blesses them with lots of kids……and they’re all gay.

  • kae

    what absolute fucking bollocks. I couldn’t get further than 1.23 before wanting to smash someone’s face in. If you want to see what the Catholic church is REALLY all about, watch this and see the sainted Stephen Fry take them to pieces: Please watch it- it will calm you after watching the shite above.

  • ewe

    This open display of heterosexual fornication in our faces 24/7 is nothing but cheap flaunting of heterosexuality and it is uncalled for and annoying. I don’t care what they are as long as they keep it to themselves.

  • lfivepoints69

    Check this much more Christian video from the United Church of Christ. It shows the (rather obvious) fact that God loves gay families the same as heterosexual families.

  • Brandon

    I’ve always found it incredibly ironic and offensive that the Catholic Church claims it’s “for social justice” and all that wonderful stuff, yet at the same time so many of them are incredibly anti-gay and conservative on a HOST of social issues! Shouldn’t social justice include tolerance for gays and gay rights, including gay marriage?? Why do they keep defending this “traditional marriage” nonsense?

    In fact, in the vast majority of civilizations throughout history, “traditional” Western-style marriage with love WAS NOT the norm! Many cultures, esp. more primitive ones, marry for convenience, such as for building alliances between clans, tribes, families, whatever. Others merely have the parents arrange marriages between their sons and daughters because they think, “Well, this will help me build an alliance, and this guy/gal is rich and will help provide for them and be a good match”, as in India. In Kenya, there actually IS a form of ‘gay marriage’, although it’s not between actual lesbians. If a straight couple cannot reproduce, for whatever reason, the older woman marries a younger girl that the man met, if I recall, and they “marry.” But after the marriage, the younger woman, who tends to be much more fertile, can only have sex with the husband after that. The older woman becomes more of a servant, almost, than a wife.

    There are so many OTHER types of marriage out there and reasons for it in history! Western-style marriage between a man and a woman who select their own partners (rather than one’s parents or families) is relatively new! 5,000 years old, MY ASS!

    I never had much respect for the Catholic Church. I don’t care much for religion as a rationalist libertarian, and conservative Christianity really sticks in my craw. But the Catholic Church WAYY overdoes it. First, there’s the nonsensical interpretations of the NT by Catholic leaders, along with fictional traditions and ceremonies that NOT EVEN PAUL mentioned or said were necessary. Secondly, it’s OVERLY POLITICAL. Catholics can’t seem to fathom the difference between VALUES and MORALS that we as a society all generally agree on, and political views. They seem to think that being prolife is “just being Catholic.” *cough* bullshit *cough* PROLIFE IS A POLITICAL VIEW! You CANNOT tell others that that is a precondition for being Catholic.

    People should be allowed to have their OWN political views, no matter what church they join. For a church to say, “This is how you should vote” or “This is who you should vote for” is INSANE. It’s doubly insane when the Catholic leaders say, “We should excommunicate this liberal Democrat because he supports prochoice measures.” WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU to judge people like that? That is the EPITOME of arrogance! No Protestant church, at least that I know of, excommunicates its members just for political views or statements. They act like all Americans agree that abortion is “murder.” In fact, abortion is probably the most evenly-divided issue in American politics. It’s about 50-50 when polls come around. So for Catholics to act like it’s an ESTABLISHED FACT that abortion is murder or “the taking of a life” is nothing short of deceptive.

  • nikko

    Male and female complimentary? I never got that. Not so, look at the world of male /female relationships and the constant battle of the sexes, and it seems clear that apart from procreating, men and women have little in common. Men are homosocial and cannot stand being in the company of women too long. If God intended man and woman to be partners/complimentary, He’d design them more similar. rather than so extremely different. Yet i see perfect balance in( visually, emotionally,etc.) in male-male or female-female couplings.

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