Pop Brownies

“Tree Man,” the Internet’s latest thirst trap; Britney Spears love letter to LGBTQ people; Fifth Harmony’s latest

The latest thirst trap to grab the Internet by storm: 31-year-old Danny Jones of Danny Jones Fitness is being favorably compared to a tree, and everyone wants to climb on top of him.

The towering 6’7″ slab of muscle has already earned over 500K followers on Instagram for reasons that won’t elude you:

For those of you that have been following me a while, you know that I like to share my progress photos from time to time. It's a good reminder to me of how far I've come and it motivates me (and hopefully you) to keep pushing and remember why I started this. – Do you know how long it took me to finally start seeing some noticeable differences in myself? A looooong time, longer than it should have. Lemme tell you why. – When I first started this journey (hate calling it that cuz it's so cliche sounding, but that's exactly what it is) I was hungry. And I'm not speaking in terms of hunger for food. I was unhappy with how I looked and how I felt. I wanted to walk shirtless on the beach with confidence. I wanted to be able to go to a pool party and make everyone do a double take. I wanted to feel good with how I looked. Don't get me wrong, I was never the type to let the disappointment in my physique prevent me from having fun and still going to the beach and pool parties. I just didn't feel great about myself when I did those things. I wanted more and I was going to do everything in my power to make a change. – But oh how quick we are to give up, make excuses and find reasons to quit. I would bust my ass in the gym and diet like a maniac for a week or two and I'd look in the mirror and see the exact same dude from a couple weeks ago looking back at me. Seemed like there was little to no change. So, I'd say "screw this, why am I killing myself with diet and training if it's making so little of a difference". And I'd quit until the next time I had a little more motivation to start all over. – Left: 280lbs. Working out hard 5-6 days a week at around 2-3 hours per workout. Little/no knowledge of nutrition. Right: 250lbs. (Not current) Working out hard 5-6 days a week at around 1-1.5 hours per workout. Daily calculated diet to help me reach my goals. It was at this time I FINALLY realized my body was undergoing some serious change. Granted, I made significant changes prior to this photo, but due to my overly self-critical nature, it took me forever to actually notice the positive change. My guess is 4 years between the two photos. – I've come a (continued in comments)

A post shared by Danny Jones Online Training (@dannyjonesfitness) on

Spring break is almost here! ? #thatsahand #notapenis

A post shared by Danny Jones Online Training (@dannyjonesfitness) on

To kick off Pride month, Billboard asked several stars to weigh in on the LGBTQ communty, and Britney Spears certainly rose to the occasion:

This is my letter of love to all my LGBTQ fans. Continuously throroughout my career, you’ve always been so vocal about what a positive impact I’ve had on you — that I’ve instilled joy, hope and love in you at times when there was none. That my music is an inspiration. That my story gives you hope. 1

But I have a secret to share with you. You see, it’s actually you that lifts me up. The unwavering loyalty. the lack of judgment. The unapologetic truth. Acceptance! Your stories are what inspire me, bring me joy and make me and my sons strive to be better people.

I love you.

Britney

Fifth Harmony’s “Work From Home” single was so ubiquitous and catchy it was lodged in our heads for the better part of 2016, causing us to airily walk into busy intersections and light posts as it played in a continuous loop through our pop-fried frontal lobe.

Will their latest single “Harmony” (featuring Gucci Mane) be just as all-consuming? Listen below and decide for yourself:

https://youtu.be/03zEDKYl9Ys

You know what Taylor Swift doesn’t care about? All of Katy Perry’s damned drama, that’s what.

A nosy source tells US Weekly that Swift wants no part in keeping the drama alive, particularly in regards to the lyrics to “Swish Swish.”

“She honestly wants no part of this,” the source says. “That’s why she avoids talking about it. She doesn’t want to engage.”

On a recent pop-in to Carpool Karaoke with James Corden, you can watch Perry pathetically, desperately, transparently try everything in her power to stoke the drama –despite the fact that Swift is clearly too mature, too busy, and frankly too damn wonderful to pay attention to this nonsense –because she’s over it. Completely and utterly. And everyone can see it, too.

These days, innocent pedestrians can’t even hire a Lyft car without being attacked and viciously mocked by pop stars. In the below video, Joe Jonas pretends he’s just your average everyday Lyft driver, while you and I know that he’s actually the man behind “Cake By The Ocean.”

Actually, we’re just jealous. Our last Lyft driver wouldn’t shut up about why she voted for Trump.