DUCK A L'ONGINA

Unplucked: The “Duck Dynasty” Drag Race

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On the surface, Duck Dynasty and RuPaul‘s Drag Race have nothing in common. One is a show about a close-knit family battling the wilderness; the other is Duck Dynasty. But it turns out that stars of both shows dress in elaborate get-ups to achieve stardom. For Ru’s goils, that includes enough sequins to blind Bob Mackie and wigs on top of wigs.

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On top of wigs.

For Duck Dynasty, that meant abandoning their wholesome, clean-cut image and embracing their inner ZZ Top.

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While the Robertson clan won’t be snatching any trophies or headline Absolut floats any time soon, we can all take a lesson in how to drag up (or down) Dynasty-style. Duck Dynasty because Alexis Carrington this is not. Even if she is handy with a gun:

Joan Collins AlexisGentlemen, start your engines and let the best duck hunter…WIN! Here’s a how-to guide for Duck Dynasty drag.

Camo

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Whereas blending in is never something to aspire to in drag, it helps when on the hunt for duck. And I’ve never met a drag queen who didn’t like to hunt the duck. Or suck the duck. Or for that matter, ride the duck, so maybe it’s a trend worth trying out. It worked for Alaska:

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Hipster Beard

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The kind of beards sported on Duck Dynasty are right at home in two places: the deep south and Brooklyn, where unkempt facial hair is apparently a sign of…something. Most queens try their best to erase their beard and all accompanying shadow, but 5 o’clock happens even to the best of them:

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Matchy-Matchy

article-0-1985FFEE00000578-830_634x442The family that gets dressed in the dark together stays together, as Rebecca Glasscock can tell you:

s1e5 07The Robertson’s take this round.

Amerrikah! The Bootyfulduck-dynasty-season-4 Ever since Ru descended from the heavens and into our hearts as Ms. Rachel Tension in drag classic To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, patriotism and drag have gone hand-in-delicately-gloved-hand:

rupaulThe Duck Dynasty dudes strike me more as Confederate flag types anyway.

Now sashay away.

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3 Comments

  • AuntieChrist

    The dork die nasty clan makes me want to vomit in my throat…They are so ugly people put their pictures in their car windows as an anti-theft device.

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  • Harley

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