Do some bottoms call themselves “versatile” in order to appear more appealing to potential sexual partners?
Is “Power bottom” just a different way of saying … um, “bottom”?
Are gay men thinking too hard about how they market their sexual preferences?
That’s the topic of the latest video from Michael Henry. In it, the YouTube comic tells some surprised friends that he’s now “vers” after previously being a “bottom”. His friends are doubtful of this major life change. Or “re-branding”, as they call it.
How about we take this to the next level?
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The conclusion? Versatile often just means bottom. And maybe the effort we put into labeling ourselves can be taken a bit too far.
Some of those who commented on the video echoed this sentiment.
“All these arbitrary titles definitely need to be clowned,” said one. “With that said there’s definitely a stigma on being a total bottom. I’m guessing it’s because a lot of gay men equate bottoming with being less than a man i.e. you’re more a woman.
“There’s a lot of dysfunctional thinking about sex that’s been carried over from the heterosexual world and this is one of them.”
Related: ‘Beefy as hell’ 19-year-old has a problem as an ‘extremely masc bottom’
ptn2719
So much of the problem remains this idea that bottoms are all “effeminate” and all tops are “butch”. But there can be more effeminate tops and more “butch” bottoms. And everything in between. Because sexuality is a spectrum, and there is no right or wrong way to be. Just do what you like to to! Why does everything have to have a label attached?
Charlie in Charge
This one annoys me, though I get that it’s a comedy sketch and not a treatise on human sexuality. Lots of people are genuinely verse.
Bromancer7
It doesn’t matter how often you do it, but whether or not you enjoy it. If you enjoy both equally then you’re vers. If you enjoy one significantly more than the other then you’re a vers top or vers bottom. If you never (or hardly never) do it then you’re not vers.
This is pretty easy stuff.
Openminded
I look at it as a bottom ONLY bottoms and a TOP only tops. If you ever do both positions and enjoyed both positions, no matter if you prefer one more than the other, then you are VERS, IMO.
An analogy would be that true Vegetarians NEVER eat meat, they never state, “I occasionally like to eat meat”. Likewise your average omnivore may like meat more than veggies or vice versa, but they are still an omnivore. All that said, YES, labels typically only serve to put you in a box which limits your freedom to change.
Leo
It also saves the embarrassment of having to walk out the door in the middle of sex because both parties wan the same thing.
CityguyUSA
i VOTE THE ENTIRE ARTICLE A PIECE OF SHIT.
Gadfeal
A friend from NYC once commented, versatile couples are always competing in bed, and the one who “loses” has to top!
Since there are some many more gay men who want to topped, than there are those willing to top, one piece of advice with lifelong import to newbies is NOT to learn how to bottom. You would find yourself in much higher demand.
Truth isn’t fair, and we can only make strategic choices.
Heywood Jablowme
True! It’s simply easier for most guys to be on the bottom with anal sex, except maybe the first time. Being on top requires a lot of physical activity and energy, and you may get into the psychological worries of “am I doing it ‘right’ or not?” etc. On the bottom, it’s generally just easier (unless it lasts 5 hours or something).
Creamsicle
That’s great advice is your goal is just to have tons of sex, but topping and bottoming are just different ways of enjoying sex. Some guys want to bottom, others want to top. The baggage that gets attached to that is all ours and all artificial.
I’m vers and whether I want to top or bottom depends entirely on sexual chemistry. But we also put anal sex on a pedestal. There are a lot of ways to have sex and nobody deserves to be shamed for how they enjoy sex.
Heywood Jablowme
Do Gen Z guys really have much “stigma” about being on the bottom? Grindr profiles seem to indicate that most of them define themselves as bottoms anyway. If there were really much stigma, they wouldn’t do that. I’m sure there WAS stigma about it for young boomers back in, say, 1979 (pre-AIDS) but is it still happening now? I’m dubious.
Joshooeerr
This moronic binary approach to gay sexuality – the implication here, literally, is that everyone is top or bottom and vers is virtually a myth – is insidious and potentially more damaging than a lot of the more blatant homophobia that gets called out in these pages. It’s easy clickbait of course, but anyone promoting this kind of nonsense is possibly doing serious harm.
pupiceblue
Why do we feel the need to subcategorize everything? If you enjoy both, you’re vers. Period. Forget vers-top and vers-bttm. Who cares? If you’re bisexual, you like both. Period. Do we need percentages to understand that? This isn’t complicated.